Stranger in a Strange Land

«I am not! I'm simply teaching him necessary customs.»

«Customs, morals — is there a difference? Woman, here, by the grace of God and an inside straight, we have a personality untouched by the psychotic taboos of our tribe — and you want to turn him into a copy of every fourth-rate conformist in this frightened land! Why not go whole hog? Get him a briefcase.»

«I'm not doing anything of the sort! I'm just trying to keep him out of trouble. It's for his own good.»

Jubal snorted. «That's the excuse they gave the tomcat before his operation.»

«Oh!» Jill appeared to count ten. She said bleakly, «This is your house, Doctor Harshaw, and we are in your debt. I will fetch Michael at once.» She stood up.

«Hold it, Jill.»

«Sir?»

«Sit down — and quit trying to be as nasty as I am; you don't have my years of practice. Now let's get something straight: you are not in my debt. Impossible — because I never do anything I don't want to. Nor does anyone, but in my case I know it. So please don't invent a debt that does not exist, or next you will be trying to feel gratitude — and that is the treacherous first step toward complete moral degradation. You grok that?»

Jill bit her lip, then grinned. «I'm not sure what “grok” means.»

«Nor I. I intend to go on taking lessons from Mike until I do. But I was speaking seriously. “Gratitude” is a euphemism for resentment. Resentment from most people I do not mind — but from pretty little girls it is distasteful.»

«Why, Jubal, I don't resent you — that's silly.»

«I hope you don't … but you will if you don't root out of your mind this delusion that you are indebted to me. The Japanese have five ways to say “thank you” — and every one translates as resentment, in various degrees. Would that English had the same built-in honesty! Instead, English can define sentiments that the human nervous system is incapable of experiencing. “Gratitude”, for example.»

«Jubal, you're a cynical old man. I do feel grateful to you and I shall go on feeling grateful.»

«And you are a sentimental young girl. That makes us a complementary pair. Let's go to Atlantic City for a weekend of illicit debauchery, just us two.»

«Why, Jubal!»

«You see how deep your gratitude goes?»

«Oh. I'm ready. When do we leave?»

«Hummph! We should have left forty years ago. The second point is that you are right; Mike must learn human customs. He must take off his shoes in a mosque, wear his hat in a synagogue, and cover his nakedness when taboo requires, or our shamans will burn him for deviationism. But, child, by the myriad aspects of Ahriman, don't brainwash him. Make sure he is cynical about it.»

«Uh, I'm not sure I can. Mike doesn't seem to have any cynicism in him.»

«So? Well, I'll lend a hand. Shouldn't he be dressed by now?»

«I'll go see.»

«In a moment. Jill, I explained why I am not anxious to accuse anyone of kidnapping Ben. If Ben is unlawfully detained (to put it at its sweetest), we have not crowded anyone into getting rid of evidence by getting rid of Ben. If he is alive, he stands a chance of staying alive. But I took other steps the first night you were here. You know your Bible?»

«Uh, not very well.»

«It merits study, it contains practical advice for most emergencies. “ — every one that doeth evil hateth the light — ” John something or other, Jesus to Nicodemus. I have been expecting an attempt to get Mike away from us, for it didn't seem likely that you had covered your tracks. But this is a lonely place and we haven't any heavy artillery. There is one weapon that might balk them. Light. The glaring spotlight of publicity. So I arranged for any ruckus here to have publicity. Not just a little that might be hushed up — but great gobs, world wide and all at once. Details do not matter — where cameras are mounted and what linkages have been rigged — but if a fight breaks out here, it will be seen by three networks and hold-for-release messages will be delivered to a spread of V.I.P. s — all of whom would like to catch our Honorable Secretary General with his pants down.»

Harshaw frowned. «But I can't maintain it indefinitely. When I set it up, my worry was to move fast enough — I expected trouble at once. Now I think we are going to have to force action, while I can still keep a spotlight on us.»

«What sort of action, Jubal?»

«I've been fretting about it the past three days. You gave me a glimmering of an approach with that story of what happened in Ben's apartment.»

«I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, Jubal. I didn't think anybody would believe me — and it makes me feel good that you do.»

«I didn't say I believed you.»

«What? But you — »