Stranger in a Strange Land

«Jubal, you'll have to hear it. He didn't sound preachy and didn't wear robes — just a smart, well-tailored white suit. He sounded like a damned good car salesman. He cracked jokes and told parables. The gist was a sort of pantheism … one parable was the oldy about the earthworm burrowing through the soil who encounters another earthworm and says, “Oh, you're beautiful! Will you marry me?” and is answered: “Don't be silly! I'm your other end.” You've heard it?'

«“Heard it”? I wrote it!»

«Hadn't realized it was that old. Mike made good use of it. His idea is that whenever you encounter any other grokking thing — man, woman, or stray cat … you are meeting your “other end”. The universe is a thing we whipped up among us and agreed to forget the gag.»

Jubal looked sour. «Solipsism and pantheism. Together they explain anything. Cancel out any inconvenient fact, reconcile all theories, include any facts or delusions you like. But it's cotton candy, all taste and no substance — as unsatisfactory as solving a story by saying: “ — then the little boy fell out of bed and woke up.”»

«Don't crab at me; take it up with Mike. Believe me, he made it convincing. Once he stopped and said, “You must be tired of so much talk — ” and they yelled back, “No!” He really had them. He protested that his voice was tired and, anyhow it was time for miracles. Then he did amazing sleight-of-hand — did you know he had been a magician in a carnival?»

«I knew he had been with it. He never told me the nature of his shame.»

«He's a crackerjack; he did stunts that had me fooled. But it would have been okay if he had used just kid tricks; it was his patter that had them spellbound. Finally he stopped and said, “The Man from Mars is expected to do wonderful things … so I pass some miracles each meeting. I can't help being the Man from Mars; it's just something that happened. Miracles can happen for you, if you want them. However, for anything more than these narrow-gauge miracles, you must enter the Circle. Those who want to learn I will see later. Cards are being passed around.”»

«Patty explained it. “This crowd is just marks, dear — people here out of curiosity or maybe shilled in by people who have reached one of the inner circles.” Jubal, Mike has rigged the thing in nine circles, like lodge degrees — and nobody is told that there are circles farther in until they're ripe for it. “This is Michael's bally,” Pat told me, “which he does as easy as he breathes — while he's feeling them out and deciding which ones are possible. That's why he strings it out — Duke is up behind that grille and Michael tells him who might measure up, where he sits and everything. Michael's about to turn this tip … and spill the ones he doesn't want. Then Dawn takes over, after she gets the seating diagram from Duke.”»

«How did they work that?» asked Harshaw.

«I didn't see it, Jubal. There are a dozen ways they could cut from the herd as long as Mike knew which they were and had some way to signal Duke. Patty says Mike's clairvoyant — I won't deny the possibility. Then they took the collection. Mike doesn't do even this church style — you know, soft music and dignified ushers. He said nobody would believe this was a church if he didn't take a collection. Then, so help me, they passed collection baskets already loaded with money and Mike told them that this was what the last crowd had given, so help themselves — if they were broke or hungry and needed it. But if they felt like giving … give. Do one or the other — put something in, or take something out. I figured he had found one more way to get rid of too much money.»

Jubal said thoughtfully, «That pitch, properly given, should result in people giving more … while a few take just a little. Probably very few.»

«I don't know, Jubal. Patty whisked me away when Mike turned the service over to Dawn. She took me to a private auditorium where services were opening for the seventh circle — people who had belonged for months and had made progress. If it is progress.

«Jubal, we went straight from one to the other and it was hard to adjust. That outer meeting was half lecture, half entertainment — this one was almost a voodoo rite. Mike was in robes now; he looked taller, ascetic, and intense — his eyes gleamed. The place was dim, there was creepy music and yet it made you want to dance. Patty and I took a couch that was darn near a bed. What the service was I couldn't say. Mike would sing out in Martian, they would answer in Martian — except for chants of “Thou art God! Thou art God!” echoed by some Martian word that would make my throat sore to pronounce.»

Jubal made a croaking noise «Was that it?»

«Huh? I believe so. Jubal … are you hooked? Have you been stringing me along?»