Saraband for Two Sisters

“Oh, God help us, no. My mother does and he might beat it out of her. He’ll blame her for my sins. He’ll say she knew of my wanton ways and let them go unpunished. What can I do, Mistress Bersaba?”

“I’ll think,” I said.

“You be terrible good to me. No one ain’t ever been so good before.” I felt somehow ashamed. I would never have believed I would. I was learning something about myself. I could put myself so easily into Phoebe’s place. I could feel the need coming over me and I could see myself if I had been Thomas Cast’s daughter finding myself in the same position as she was. It was for this reason that I could give out this comfort, this understanding, and even in that moment I thought: “Angelet could never be the same. Innocent Angelet could not understand.” I said, “Could the man marry you?”

She shook her head. “He be married. I did know at the time. I can’t think what came over me.”

“How old is the baby?”

‘Well ‘twould be six months nearly. There comes the time when it can’t be hid no more ... and that time’s come now.”

“So you ran away.”

“Yes. My mother knew. Her’s known for a day or two. Her’s beside herself. She keeps saying, ‘Gast’ll kill you. He’s a hard man ... but a good man. He can’t abide sin and I reckon this is about one of the biggest sins there is.’ She was frightened for me. So I ran away. I thought it best”

II She was looking at me with pleading eyes, and I said, “Don’t worry, Phoebe, I’ll see to it. You mustn’t get too upset. It’s bad for the baby. »

“Oh, the baby. I wish it dead, mistress. I wish I was dead. I did think of doing away with myself but... I couldn’t somehow.”

“You mustn’t talk like that. Now, that is wicked. Listen. You will stay here for tonight. Nobody knows you’re here except Ginny and she won’t dare tell anyone because she knows I’ll be angry if she does. I’ll bring you a wool cloak to wrap yourself in and I’ll bring you food. There’s a bolt on the barn door. When I go pull it across the door and don’t open it for anyone but me. In the morning I’ll have a plan.” She started to cry. “Oh, Mistress Bersaba. You be terrible good to me. You’re like an angel, that’s what you are ... an angel of mercy. I won’t ever forget this. »

“Don’t say any more. Just wait there. I’ll be back.”

I came out of the barn and heard her pull the bolt as I had bidden. I felt exultant, powerful, godlike as I went into the house.

The next morning I realized that I could not keep Phoebe indefinitely in the barn and there was only one thing I could do and that was tell my mother. I could have done that the previous night, for I knew very well what her reaction would be. She would never turn away a girl in Phoebe’s condition. I was beginning to take a sharp look at myself, and I did not disguise the fact that I had behaved as I had because of a love of power. I had wanted to take all the glory of saving Phoebe for myself and no one else was to have a share in it. So it was I who had taken food and covering down to her. It was I who kept her secret for a night.

But now I must tell my mother before Phoebe was discovered. I found her in the stillroom with one of the servants, and she looked up with pleasure when she saw me. She always liked us to come to the stillroom because she thought it was so good for us to learn the secrets of preserving and such culinary arts.

“Mother,” I said, “I want to speak to you.”

I must have looked very serious for she immediately said to the servant, “You carry on, Annie.” And to me: “Come to my bedroom, Bersaba.” So we went there and I told her that Phoebe was going to have a child and had run away from home and that I had hidden her in the barn for the night “Oh, poor, poor girl. What will become of her? Thomas Cast is such a cruel man. Why didn’t you come to me last night?”

“She was so distressed, Mother, and I didn’t quite know what you would say. I had to save her for at least a night I said I would do what I could. We must help her. »

“Of course we must. She can’t go back to that father of hers.”

“Could she stay here?”

“She will have to. Where else is there? But what of the child?”

“Ginny’s child stays here.”

“I know. But Ginny was one of our servants. We mustn’t let people think that they can have children as they like and that the Priory is a sort of home for them.” I knew that while she was talking she was wondering what she could do for Phoebe. She would never turn her away and she would let the child stay here because she would say that a child cannot be parted from its mother. I could see the horror in her eyes which meant that she was contemplating Thomas Cast’s avenging anger if the girl ever fell into his hands.

“Mother,” I said, “she is terrified. If you could see her you would have to help. »

“My dearest child, of course we shall help her. She will have to come here at least until the child is born and then we will see what can be done. »

“Oh, thank you, Mother.”

She looked at me, her eyes full of love and approval. “I am so happy, Bersaba, to see how compassionate you can be.”