Saraband for Two Sisters

Then I ceased to think about the matter, for that afternoon Luke Longridge rode over. It was the first time he had called at Far Flamstead, because Richard had never asked him. And in view of the fact that relations must have been rather strained between them after that proposed duel about which Angelet had told me, this was not surprising. He had however raised no objection to our visiting them. True, there had been nothing formal about our visits and we met them more by chance than anything else. It was Phoebe who came to tell me that Mr. Longridge had called and was asking for me, so I went down to the hall where he waited uneasily. I thought something must be wrong and asked him what.

“No,” he said. “I just wanted to talk to you. Could you get a wrap and come out into the gardens?”

“Can’t you talk here?” I asked.

“As I am not sure whether General Tolworthy would welcome me in his house, I would prefer it if you would come outside.”

I said I would get a wrap and I sent Phoebe for it.

When we were outside, I led him to the enclosed garden. It was too chilly to sit so we walked around as we talked.

“You will wonder at the urgency,” he said, “but it is not a hasty matter on my part for I have thought about it continuously for some time. You have been in my thoughts since our first meeting and each day I have hoped that you would ride by.”

“You and your sister have always given us a good welcome and both my sister and I have enjoyed our visits,” I said.

“No doubt you are aware of my regard for you. I had not thought to marry. There is so much I want to do, but it is natural for a man to take a wife. I hope this does not seem incongruous to you, but I have come to ask you to marry me.»

“You can’t be serious.”

“I am deeply in earnest. I am not a rich man, but I have the farm and some assets.

We are not exactly poor.”

“I do not assess people by their worldly goods.”

“Indeed you do not. You are too wise for that. The rich man of today can be the poor man of tomorrow. The treasures of the heart and mind are those of value.»

“Why do you wish to marry me?” I asked.

“Because I love you. I could be happy with you. I could make you happy, and the simple fact is that I shall never know happiness without you.”

“I thought you did not believe in happiness.”

“You mock me.”

“No, I seek to know you.”

‘There is nothing in the Bible against a man’s marrying. It is a worthy action to take.”

“But what if you should find pleasure in your marriage?”

“That would find favor in the eyes of God.”

“Carnal pleasure?” I said. He was startled. He looked at me in amazement. I said, ‘We are not children. We must know the reason for our actions. I want to ask you if the thought of carnal pleasure makes you feel you would be happy to live with me.”

“How strangely you talk, Bersaba. Hardly like a-“ “Like a Puritan? But I am not a Puritan. I believe you want me as men will want women and offer marriage for that reason. I merely wish to know.” He stepped nearer to me. “You enchant me,” he said. “I will admit I want you in this way. I can only be happy with you. Bersaba, you don’t answer. Will you marry me?”

“No,” I said, almost triumphantly, for I had made him admit to carnal desires; and then that perverse side of my nature was there and I was sorry for him. “I could only marry if I loved ... as one loves a lover. I make no secret of my needs. I do not love you in that way, though I respect you and like you as my friend. That is the answer, Luke, and I have nothing more to say.”

“Bersaba, you will think of this?”

“It would do no good.”

“I suppose they will take you to London and there will be balls and banquets...”

“And extravagances,” I said.

“And there you will find a man who will make you rich.”

“I do not look for riches. I told you that, Luke.”

He turned away, and I laid my hand on his arm. “I’m sorry,” I said. “But if you really knew me you would not admire me. You want me, yes I know that, but you would not be happy with me. Your conscience would worry you. You would find too much pleasure in me. You are a Puritan ... I don’t know what I am, but it is not that. You will find a wife more suitable, Luke, and you will then thank me and God for this day.»

“You are so different from everyone else,” he said.

“That is why you should avoid me. You don’t know me. I’m not of your kind. Try not to feel too bad. I shall call on your sister as I did before and we’ll be friends. We’ll talk. We’ll fight our verbal battles and enjoy each other’s company. Go now, Luke. Don’t be downhearted. This is for the best I know it.” Then I left him and ran into the house.

The next day Richard returned. I heard arrivals and went out into the courtyard to see who had come, and there he was, dismounting, while the groom took charge of his horse.