Riding Rockets

My mom would not live to see herself in these pages. On Memorial Day 2004, she was diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer and died on July 4 at age seventy-nine. I was the one who told her of the doctor’s prognosis—that she had just a few weeks to live. She took the news with her characteristic courage. She didn’t utter a word of dismay or shed a single tear. She merely shrugged her shoulders, as if I had just told her she had nothing more serious than a stomach virus, and said, “Well, I’ve had a great life.” This from a woman who endured the terror of her husband serving in WWII, who raised six children with that same man in a wheelchair, and who was further cheated when she was widowed at age sixty-four. It hardly sounded like a “great life.” But my mom always saw the glass as half full and smiled and laughed her way through life until her last conscious moment. As one of my brothers said, “Mom set the bar damned high on living and dying.” That she did. As I sat with her in the ebbing days of her life, random images from that life flashed in my brain. I saw her squatting next to a campfire, cooking pancakes and bacon. I saw her pouring my dad’s urine from a milk carton into a motel toilet. I saw her handing over the stainless-steel extension tube of her vacuum cleaner so I could fashion it into a rocket. I saw her “mooning” the camera during her wait for the launch of STS-36. She had sewn the mission number on the rear of her “good luck” green briefs and, at the beach house, had bent over to show the unique cheerleading sign on the billboard of her sixty-four-year-old backside.

With me and two of my brothers holding her hands she died at home and was laid to rest in the same grave as my father at the Veterans Cemetery in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I placed another set of my shuttle mission decals on the new grave marker. They were Mom’s missions, too.

As I write these words, only five TFNGs remain on active duty with NASA: Fred Gregory, Steve Hawley, Shannon Lucid, Anna Fisher, and Steve Nagel. All of them are in administrative positions and will probably never fly in space again. The space history books are closed on the TFNGs. But our class wrote some remarkable entries in those books:

First American woman in space: Sally Ride.

First African American in space: Guy Bluford.

First Asian American in space: El Onizuka.

First American woman to do a spacewalk: Kathy Sullivan.

Most space-experienced woman in the world: Shannon Lucid, with a total of 223 days in space, including a six-month tour on the Russian Mir space station.

While flying the MMU, Bob Stewart, Pinky Nelson, Dale Gardner, and Jim van Hoften became some of the only astronauts to orbit completely free of their spacecraft.

On STS-41C, TFNGs were part of a crew that completed the world’s first retrieval, repair, and re-release into space of a malfunctioning satellite. On STS-51A, TFNGs played key roles in the first capture and return to Earth of a pair of crippled satellites.

Rick Hauck commanded the first post-Challengermission. Hoot Gibson commanded the first shuttle–Mir space station docking mission. Norm Thagard became the first American to fly aboard a Russian rocket when he was launched to the Russian Mir space station. TFNG Dick Covey commanded the first repair mission to Hubble Space Telescope (HST) to correct its flawed vision. Dan Brandenstein commanded STS-49, a mission to capture and repair a massive communication satellite stuck in a useless orbit. The mission involved an emergency three-person spacewalk, the only such spacewalk ever conducted, and was one of the most difficult shuttle missions in history.

TFNGs logged nearly a thousand man-days in space and sixteen spacewalks. Five became veterans of five space missions (Gibson, Hawley, Hoffman, Lucid, and Thagard). The first TFNGs entered space in 1983 aboard STS-7. Steve Hawley became the last TFNG in space sixteen years later, when he launched on his fifth mission, STS-93, in 1999. TFNGs were ultimately represented on the crews of fifty different shuttle missions and commanded twenty-eight of those. It is not an exaggeration to say TFNGs were the astronauts most responsible for taking NASA out of its post-Apollo hiatus and to the threshold of the International Space Station (ISS).

There are twenty-nine of the original thirty-five TFNGs still living. Besides the loss of theChallenger four and Dave Griggs’s death, Dave “Red Flash” Walker, a veteran of four shuttle flights, succumbed to natural causes at the age of fifty-seven. Dave was the pilot who scared the holy bejesus out of me during the 1981 STS-1 chase plane practices. He had teased death so often, I had come to believe he was bulletproof. I had failed to consider cancer.