Polynya

“Ever had a genetically modified blue burger with a pink bun with sesame seeds that changes colors and fizzles as it reacts with your saliva? Well, if you haven’t, now’s your chance! And did I mention the Frappuccino has 100% of your daily recommended intake of vitamins and minerals, plus, and this is a big plus, it comes with the limited edition McStarbucks’ Mermaid in front of the Golden Arches self-applicated barcode tattoo that gets you a 3% discount for life. For life!”

“What in the fick is he going on about? Why do I hate him so much right now?” Hiccup asks as he walks over to the group. “Did he say self-applicated tattoo? I liked the twonicorn part, though, that’s good eating. A unicorn? Yeah, one horn, we get it. But two? Fick me, that’s dinner! Great for gnawing on.”

“... So mention #FeeTwixRox at checkout to get a small Twonicorn McNuggets free with your purchase of the Twonicorn Frap and the Twonicorn Big Mac. Don’t forget, you’ll get the McStarbucks’ logo tattoo free with purchase, and just think, you’ll save, save, save!”

FeeTwix drops his mirror, his eyes flash blue, and he collapses again.

Chapter 12: Wolf Trap

Ryuk waits for the sine waves to stop rippling. That familiar tone chimes, and after letting the static settle, he takes off his NV Visor and removes his haptic gloves.

His eyes dart to the corner of his room. No digital spider, which is reassuring, but also troubling seeing as his hallucinations seem to come and go. Thus far, they’ve only been in his room, but if they were ever to come to him in public …

The heater kicks on above and as he relaxes into the body of his ‘real world avatar’ – as he’s heard it called before – his thoughts circle around Tamana and seeing her turn into a giant. Somehow this image, and the mayhem that resulted, does little to quell the pain he felt watching her fight against them. She would have been a great member in the Mitherfickers, was a great member, and it’ll be a long time before he gets used to seeing her fight against them.

And as a giant …

He bottles the thought as an advertisement for Doutor Coffee flashes on his iNet screen. In the ad, Ryuk is told of a new Super Special Set,スーパースペシャルセット, that comes with a hot dog, a green tea latte, and a red bean biscotti all for under a thousand yen.

He mentally swipes the ad away and it appears again, flashing this time.

“Come to get some rest?”

Ryuk nearly flops out of his bed, so startled is he by Hajime’s voice.

I’ve got to remember he does that!

“Relax.” Hajime sits seiza with his back to the door. Ryuk can barely make him out in the dark, and as he considers this, he glances back to that far corner of the room just in case.

Lights.

Just thinking the word causes a dim orange light to come on overhead. Nope, nothing in the corner, but Hajime has changed into a red robe that Ryuk hasn’t seen before.

“So, how goes the ultimate quest?”

Ryuk rolls out of bed and takes his Somnium Skip Box from his desk drawer.  He attaches the DHDM interface to the crescent-shaped Proxima tower as he considers the best way to answer this.

“I see you’re breathing.”

“I’m thinking.”

Hajime nods. “That works too.”

“The ‘ultimate quest,’ as you put it, is off yet again to a rough start.”

Giant Tamana, seeing his guildmates attack her, attacking her himself– none of it was easy.

“Oh?”

“Tamana and a guy named Tomas attacked us.”

“Who is Tomas?”

“Tomas is the reason FeeTwix logged into Tritania in the first place. He was one of FeeTwix’s earliest fans.”

“I thought he logged in to make money.”

Ryuk smiles. “Well, that too, and it seems like he makes a ton.” He finishes setting up the Skip Box, returns to his bed and grabs his NV Visor. “Anyway, to give you some backstory, we arrived in Polynya, the second floating continent, after meeting an Elf named Enway.”

“Okay.”

“She took us to her hometown because Polynya’s capital city is locked down.”

“You mentioned that earlier. Why is the city locked down?”

“There was an attack last night, so no outsiders are allowed in. Luckily, Enway’s hometown, known as Katiyana, is connected to the catacombs beneath Porthos.”

“An easy way in.”

“Not exactly, they don’t just grant access to those catacombs to anyone, so to gain access, we planned to rid the city of a wolf that had been attacking livestock.”

“And did you?”

“We were in the process of doing so when Tamana and Tomas attacked us. So I’m logging back in right now to go after the wolf.”

“Do you know where it is?”

“FeeTwix shot it with a ‘GPS bullet.’ I believe that’s what he called it.”

“That’ll do the trick.” Hajime takes a deep breath. “Are you hungry?”

“I’m fine, but I’ll be hungry in the morning.”

“Good. I’ll make you something at that time. It’s better to see your mom and brother with a full stomach.”

Ryuk places the NV Visor over his head. It’s still warm from wearing it just moments ago. “Thanks for understanding, Hajime.”

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