Polynya

A red outline creeping towards Zaena’s rooftop.

“Fuck you.” Ryuk unloads the entire magazine on the red outline, ruining his opponent’s surprise attack.

Instakill!

Skill level up!

Skill: Extreme Focus

Level Three: Can detect approach of camouflaged/concealed/stealthed enemies and objects.

Mage bonus: Higher levels allow sleuthing and increased accuracy. Also increases magic detection range when used in tandem with Magic Eye.

Requirements: LUCK > 11

Ryuk pulls himself to his feet, crouching as he desperately tries to find the other berserker.

-62 HP!

BANG!

Ryuk’s spirit is stripped from his avatar the moment the phrase you have died appears across his vision pane. He watches in slow motion as his body hits the parapet again and topples to the street below. The berserker stands behind him, smoke streaming off the end of his handgun.

Ryuk is an apparition now, floating above the battle.  He’s been here before with his last avatar – if Zaena and Hiccup die, the Mitherfickers fail the quest and will respawn back at the Mondegreen hostel. If they win, Ryuk respawns albeit with his life bar half full.

“I’ll fickin’ murder you!”

Ryuk’s spirit turns to find Hiccup embroiled in an epic wrestling match with the berserker who just took his life. Frothing at the mouth, the goblin tries to get the upper hand.

For his troubles, the gassy goblin takes a direct shot to the stomach that leaves him bleeding out.

-200 HP!

“Yoy, FICK!”

Not one to go down without a fight. Hiccup recovers quickly and springs onto the berserker, his toe knife in hand.

“Fick you!” he bellows as he jabs repeatedly at the berserker’s neck.

The furious goblin quickly overwhelms the berserker and soon, the berserker is left marinating in his own pool of blood.

Hiccup removes his helm, runs his hand through his pink topknot, and gives a double thumbs up at the sky in the general location where he thinks Ryuk’s spirit may be floating. “Good job dying, Marbles. Luckily, everyone’s favorite goblin is now at level fifteen.” He cups his mechanical hand at the side of his mouth. “Wrap it up, Liz!”

With the grace of a whirling dervish, Zaena twists around the strongest berserker mage and skewers him completely, separating both his arms from his body. Instakill! His arms fly into the air, blood spraying from the wounds, and the berserker falls from the rooftop.

(x)__(x)

Ryuk respawns at half health.

He stands, blinks, wipes his Dream Armor, and is just about to climb back up to one of the rooftops when he sees a lone figure appear in the distance. As the figure approaches, his outline flashes green.

Algomagic.

“Well, look what the fickin’ lian dragged home!” Hiccup tosses his healing potion aside, hops from the rooftop onto a crate, and from there onto another crate, eventually landing on the ground to the left of Ryuk.

Dirty Dave Level 99

HP: 8999/8999

MANA: 4697/4697                 

ATK: 3347                  

MATK: 1679

DEF: 3000

MDF: 3000

LUCK: 115

The immiNPC is in a shiny black suit and a pair of loose cowboy boots. Hung from his neck is a bolo tie shaped into a nazar.

“Dirty Dave!” the goblin says, his arms wide. “Put ’er there, old pal!” Suspicion paints across the goblin’s face as the famed weapons dealer places his hands behind his back.

“Wait a fickin’ minute. You’re not here to fight us, are you? Ah fick, ah fick!” A spiked club appears in Hiccup’s mechanical hand. “It was Ryuk’s idea to fight you!” He bristles, gains his composure and takes a step forward. “But before we battle, I just want to say, I believe whole-fartedly that you, sir, are innocent. I just want that on record.”

Damn goblin.

Ryuk is on the verge of turning to Hiccup and yelling baka when Dirty Dave starts laughing. “You three against … me?”

Zaena lowers herself from the rooftop and gets into a defensive pose. Ryuk reluctantly unholsters his marble gun and aims it at the torso of the powerful Mind Mage/weapons dealer/rumored drug kingpin.

With just the right amount of flare, Dirty Dave releases his hands from behind his back and shakes them out. “Rest assured, Mitherfickers, I may very well fight you one day, when your guild is complete and you actually stand a chance. But now is not that time. Lower your weapons, or don’t. It’s not like you’d hit me anyway.”

A treasure chest falls out of the air and lands in front of the three Mitherfickers.

“I’m here to give you your reward. For successfully protecting a shipment of pharmaceuticals set to ship off to Polynya, here is your 10,000 rupee reward!”