Pandemic

He forced himself to focus on the different pages. Lab reports, medical consults, and bureaucratic memos were mixed willy-nilly in the pile. Deja vu overwhelmed the emerging pathogens expert. The rural Chinese origins, the pattern of dissemination, the inconsistent care — he had seen it all before with SARS. But sifting through the patient records, Haldane reached the same conclusion the local authorities had. This was not the rebirth of SARS. This had the potential to be far worse.

Haldane understood that time was no longer a luxury for the WHO or him. He had so much to do in the upcoming days and hours, but his mind kept drifting back to the scene shortly before his departure at his Washington suburb home in Glen Echo Heights, Maryland.

* * *

Chloe Haldane had yet another ear infection. A month shy of her fourth birthday, she had already suffered through a lifetime's worth of ear infections. With an insider's knowledge of side effects and complications, Noah Haldane viewed his daughter's antibiotic dependency dimly. He wasn't much more excited about the prospect of the myringotomy, or drainage tubes, that loomed in Chloe's near future.

Like many men, Haldane had entered fatherhood without much in the way of expectations, aside from the presumption of sleepless nights. But he took to the role with a passion he never imagined possible. From the moment he had first held her, Chloe became the focal point of his life. When not working or traveling, he happily dedicated the rest of his time to his daughter. In spite of his hectic schedule and the forced time apart, he still changed more diapers and attended more Baby Dance and Gymboree classes than most of his male counterparts. Chloe made it easy for her dad. His bias aside, she had a joyful temperament. So much so that when she was eight months old her parents took her to a pediatrician, concerned that she never cried. With a laugh, their doctor reassured them that time would soon rectify the deficiency; and with the onset of her ear infections, the tears did come. Even then, it only put a temporary dent in her otherwise sunny disposition.

Haldane lay beside Chloe in her bed. Cramped as he was, almost hanging off the side of the single bed, he loved the chance to snuggle in tight while reading her favorite stories. With their heads touching, he could feel the warmth from her brow. Her fever had yet to break. But after the fifth story, her disproportionately loud snore assured Haldane she had nodded off. Realizing that this would be his last chance for weeks, maybe months, he lay beside Chloe for half an hour longer before rising, kissing her on the forehead, and heading downstairs.

When he walked into the living room, he found his wife sitting sideways on the couch with knees bent and bare feet drawn up on the gray fabric. She nursed a mug of tea in her hand. With her other hand she brushed away a few strands of the long dark hair that drifted over her eyes. "How's she doing?" Anna asked.

"Still feels warm." Haldane said as he joined her on the couch. "But she's asleep."

Anna nodded, but her eyes focused on the coffee table beside him. "Will you be back in time for her birthday?"

Haldane shrugged. "I don't know."

Anna didn't respond.

"It's not like I'm heading off on a golf trip, Anna."

"No, you're off to save the world," she said with a trace of bitterness.

"You can drop the melodrama," Haldane said. "I didn't ask to go."

She looked up at him, her face softening. "I know, Noah. You never do."

He reached over and laid a hand on her knee. She didn't respond to the gesture, but neither did she withdraw from it as he had half expected she would.

They sat for several silent moments on the couch. Recognizing how much intimacy had been lost between them, Haldane felt a pang of remorse.

Free of makeup and wearing a loose hooded sweater, Anna struck him as painfully beautiful. Barely five feet, she had a slight figure, a ballerina's form. Her large brown eyes, high cheekbones, and slightly crooked smile aside, Anna possessed a fragile porcelain-doll quality that only enhanced her attractiveness.

He squeezed her knee. "When I get back—"

She shook her head. "Noah, there's no point in talking about it until you are back."

"I think we need to talk about it now," Haldane said. "This is about more than just you and me."

Anna stiffened in her seat. She pulled his hand off her leg and put her mug down on the coffee table. "You think I don't know that?"

"Sometimes, you don't act like you know it," he said.

She grunted a humorless laugh, and eyed him stonily. "You disappeared for over four months. Besides, you were gone before you left. Remember?" she said, referring to the stormy few months when Noah, by his own admission, had withdrawn from their marriage.

Haldane knew better than to let it escalate, but he couldn't help himself. "And that was reason enough to fall in love with someone else?"

She crossed her arms. "I wasn't looking for an excuse to. I was very lonely. It just happened, Noah."