On The Wings of Hope : Prose

I thirst to love with all my heart, for to love someone with all your mind is a real foolishness, no matter how many times the mind states the opposite. The soul feels all that, but how difficult for it to really give a start! How, how, how is that possible to make it, my God?! Where to fly, where to run, where to go, where to creep, eventually? Uphill and down dale of Soul? And what if there is a breakage waiting there? How not to fall? How not to be afraid to return back, making a fresh new start? A fear of errors comes from a human mind as well … just like a human ego.

What’s the reason in similar discernments if it’s so hard to transform yourself according to them without Your aid?

Free me, My God! Let me fly off from a self-made prison of hypertrophied duty and forgotten ability to love!

I beg of you, free me! I desire to fly!

05.02.2012

Denying self-portrait

I am not passive – I simply chose my goals carefully.

I am not zealot – I believe in the victory of human reason.

I am not aggressive – it’s hardly possible to speak differently with unreasonable ones.

I am not romanticist – I simply love life.

I am not a meek creature – it’s just useless to shout in a room alone.

I am not lonely – I am simply not part of the crowd.

I am not liar – I simply do not tell all the truth.

I am not reserved – I am simply not egocentric.

I am not rigid – there are simply times when one needs to be strong.

I am not defenseless – there are simply times when it’s required to pretend to be weak.

I am not silly – sometimes it’s simply necessary to deny common reason.

I am not uneasy – life simply demands movement.

I am not gloomy – I happen to be similarly “normal” sometimes.

I am not shy – my spirit simply soars too high sometimes.

I am not egoist – it’s simply necessary to think about myself sometimes

I am not pessimist – sometimes I simply forget to be happy.

I am not slave – it’s simply necessary sometimes to work for others.

I am not enemy – someone simply desire war sometimes.

I am not friend – someone simply desire to find allies in war sometimes.

I am not silent – I simply carefully select words.

I am not cynic – sometimes I simply call things by their proper names.

I am not insensible – sometimes it’s simply necessary to be closed from idly curios.

I am not mad – I simply do not always meet other’s expectations.

I am not indifferent – not all tears are simply true.

I am not impudent – it’s simply necessary to be the proprietor from time to time.

I am not helpless – it’s simply pleasantly to go down the stream sometimes.

I am not bored – someone simply does not understand from the first time sometimes.

I am not haughty – simply not everyone is capable to understand my language.

I am not warrior – it’s simply necessary to battle sometimes.

I am not hero – the times simply demand so.

27.09.2010

How is all that ?

How’s that – to feel, that something invaluable, for which you have been searching for all your life – that you’ve found it at last ?

How’s that – to finally meet Him in private after so many earth years ?

How’s that – to experience His endless love, being poured on us, and see people still hating each other ?

How’s that – to perceive yourself as His warrior, fencing invisible Word blade ?

How’s that – to know, that He is always nearby … just to stretch a hand ?

How's that - to see same warriors, standing nearby, and behold how He smiles to all of you ?

How’s that – to learn of your former path – of your former ways – at last and to observe the new one, revealing before you ?

How’s that – to be aware of own immortality, and to reborn from ashes time and again as always, like the Phoenix for a new Earth journey ?

How’s that – to feel the higher light warriors of God aiding you – and to hear a quiet whispering of Heavens ?

How’s that – to feel a breathing of Universe inside you and sense a beating of Her heart ?

How’s that – to absorb the Light of another world, penetrating you, and to give it new and new forms ?

How’s that – to hear words of gratitude Firsthand ?

How’s that – to accept a path, intended to you by God, voluntary and to rejoice from its beauty ?

How’s that – to put one’s love into these words, intended to purify human hearts ?

How’s that – to light up human souls and to revive them to new life ?

How’s that - to see in one’s dreams the promised New world, only to wake up in sweat from rough touched of the old one ?

How’s that – to observer, how long-term problems and vital complexities, gathered for years, are dissolved during one short earth span, blown away by a wind of changes, as though they never existed before ?

How’s that – to truly love this world, despite all distortions, brought into it by capricious human mind ?

How’s that – to know, what awaits so many of you and with a grief in one’s eyes observe you approaching the abyss ?

How’s that – to keep whispering of all this to those, who still hear ?

How’s that – to go nip and tuck with those, who, like you, knows and feels all this ?