On The Beach

She took a fresh bottle of brandy from the larder and went out to the car, and started it, and drove off on the road to Melbourne. Near Oakleigh she stopped on the deserted road in the first grey light of dawn, and took a swig out of the bottle, and went on.

She drove through the deserted city and out along the drab, industrial road to Williamstown. She came to the dockyard at about a quarter past seven; there was no guard at the open gates and she drove straight in to the quay, beside which lay the aircraft carrier. There was no sentry on the gangway, no officer of the day to challenge her. She walked into the ship trying to remember how she had gone when Dwight had showed her the submarine, and presently she ran into an American rating who directed her to the steel port in the ship's side from which the gangway led down to the submarine.

She stopped a man who was going down to the vessel. "If you see Captain Towers, would you ask him if he could come up and have a word with me?" she said.

"Sure, lady," he replied. “I’ll tell him right away," and presently Dwight came in view, and came up the gangway to her.

He was looking very ill, she thought, as they all were. He took her hands regardless of the onlookers. "It was nice of you to come to say good-bye," he said. "How are things at home, honey?"

"Very bad," she said. "Daddy and Mummy will be finishing quite soon, and I think I shall, too. This is the end of it for all of us, today." She hesitated, and then said, "Dwight, I want to ask something."

"What's that, honey?"

"May I come with you, in the submarine?" She paused, and then she said, "I don't believe that I'll have anything at home to go back to. Daddy said I could just park the Customline in the street and leave it. He won't be using it again. May I come with you?"

He stood silent for so long that she knew the answer would be no. "I've been asked the same thing by four men this morning," he said. "I've refused them all, because Uncle Sam wouldn't like it. I've run this vessel in the navy way right through, and I'm running her that way up till the end. I can't take you, honey. We'll each have to take this on our own."

"That's all right," she said dully. She looked up at him. "You've got your presents with you?"

"Sure," he said. "I've got those, thanks to you."

"Tell Sharon about me," she said. "We've nothing to conceal."

He touched her arm. "You're wearing the same outfit that you wore first time we met."

She smiled faintly. "Keep him occupied-don't give him time to think about things, or perhaps he'll start crying. Have I done my job right, Dwight?"

"Very right indeed," he said. He took her in his arms and kissed her, and she clung to him for a minute.

Then she freed herself. "Don't let's prolong the agony," she said. "We've said everything there is to say. What time are you leaving?

"Very soon," he said. "We'll be casting off in about five minutes."

"What time will you be sinking her?" she asked.

He thought for a moment. "Thirty miles down the bay, and then twelve miles out. Forty-two sea miles. I shan't waste any time. Say two hours and ten minutes after we cast off from here."

She nodded slowly. "I'll be thinking of you." And then she said, "Go now, Dwight. Maybe I'll see you in Connecticut one day."

He drew her near to kiss her again, but she refused him. "No-go on now." In her mind she phrased the words, "Or I'll be the one that starts crying." He nodded slowly, and said, "Thanks for everything," and then he turned and went away down the gangway to the submarine.

There were two or three women now standing at the head of the gangway with her. There were apparently no men aboard the carrier to run the gangway in. She watched as Dwight appeared on the bridge from the interior of the submarine and took the con, watched as the lower end of the gangway was released, as the lines were singled up. She saw the stern line and the spring cast off, watched as Dwight spoke into the voice pipe, watched the water swirl beneath her stern as the propellers ran slow ahead and the stern swung out. It began to rain a little from the grey sky. The bow line and spring were cast off and men coiled them down and slammed the steel hatch of the superstructure shut as the submarine went slow astern in a great arc away from the carrier. Then they all vanished down below, and only Dwight with one other was left on the bridge. He lifted his hand in salutation to her, and she lifted hers to him, her eyes blurred with tears, and the low hull of the vessel swung away around Point Gellibrand and vanished in the murk.

With the other women, she turned away from the steel port. "There's nothing now to go on living for," she said.

One of the women replied, "Well, you won't have to, ducks."