On The Beach

He led her from the cot to the warmth of the huge fire that he had made. She sat down on the floor before it and he gave her the hot drink of brandy and water with a little lemon squeezed in it. She sat sipping it and staring into the fire, and it made her feel a little better. He mixed one for himself, and they sat in silence for a few minutes.

Presently she said, "Peter, why did all this happen to us? Was it because Russia and China started fighting each other?"

He nodded. "That's about the size of it," he said. "But there was more to it than that. America and England and Russia started bombing for destruction first. The whole thing started with Albania."

"But we didn't have anything to do with it all, did we-here in Australia?"

"We gave England moral support," he told her. "I don't think we had time to give her any other kind. The whole thing was over in a month."

"Couldn't anyone have stopped it?"

"I don't know… Some kinds of silliness you just can't stop," he said. "I mean, if a couple of hundred million people all decide that their national honour requires them to drop cobalt bombs upon their neighbour, well, there's not much that you or I can do about it. The only possible hope would have been to educate them out of their silliness."

"But how could you have done that, Peter? I mean, they'd all left school."

"Newspapers," he said. "You could have done something with newspapers. We didn't do it. No nation did, because we were all too silly. We liked our newspapers with pictures of beach girls and headlines about cases of indecent assault, and no government was wise enough to stop us having them that way. But something might have been done with newspapers, if we'd been wise enough."

She did not fully comprehend his reasoning. "I'm glad we haven't got newspapers now," she said. "It's been much nicer without them."

A spasm shook her, and he helped her to the bathroom. While she was in there he came back to the sitting room and stood looking at his baby. It was in a bad way, and there was nothing he could do to help it; he doubted now if it would live through the night. Mary was in a bad way, too, though not quite so bad as that. The only one of them who was healthy was himself, and that he must not show.

The thought of living on after Mary appalled him. He could not stay in the flat; in the few days that would be left to him he would have nowhere to go, nothing to do. The thought crossed his mind that if Scorpion were still in Williamstown he might go with Dwight Towers and have it at sea, the sea that had been his life's work. But why do that? He didn't want the extra time that some strange quirk of his metabolism had given to him. He wanted to stay with his family.

She called him from the bathroom, and he went to help her. He brought her back to the great fire that he had made; she was cold and trembling. He gave her another hot brandy and water, and covered her with the eiderdown around her shoulders. She sat holding the glass in both hands to still the tremors that were shaking her.

Presently she said, "Peter, how is Jennifer?"

He got up and crossed to the cot, and then came back to her. "She's quiet now," he said. "I think she's much the same."

"How are you, yourself?" she asked.

"Awful," he said. He stopped by her, and took her hand. "I think you're worse than I am," he told her, for she must know that. "I think I may be a day or so behind you, but not more. Perhaps that's because I'm physically stronger."

She nodded slowly. Then she said, "There's no hope at all, is there? For any of us?"

He shook his head. "Nobody gets over this one, dear."

She said, "I don't believe I'll be able to get to the bathroom tomorrow. Peter dear, I think I'd like to have it tonight, and take Jennifer with me. Would you think that beastly?"

He kissed her. "I think it's sensible," he said. "I’ll come too."

She said weakly, "You're not so ill as we are."

"I shall be tomorrow," he said. "It's no good going on."

She pressed his hand. "What do we do, Peter?"

He thought for a moment. "I'll go and fill the hot-water bags and put them in the bed," he said. "Then you put on a clean nightie and go to bed and keep warm. I'll bring Jennifer in there. Then I'll shut up the house and bring you a hot drink, and we'll have it in bed, together, with the pill."

"Remember to turn off the electricity at the main," she said. "I mean, mice can chew through a cable and set the house on fire."

"I'll do that," he said.

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "Will you do what has to be done for Jennifer?"

He stroked her hak. "Don't worry," he said gently. "I'll do that."

He filled the hot-water bags and put them in the bed, tidying it and malting it look fresh as he did so. Then he helped her into the bedroom. He went into the kitchen and put the kettle on for the last time, and while it boiled he read the directions on the three red cartons again very carefully.