Numbered Account

"Like old times," said Feller, ambling to Karl's customary position behind the worn green counter. He leaned against it and asked in a palsied voice, "What can I do for you, young man? Want a file, do you? Well then fill out the form, you cretin. You young pups are all alike. Lazy, stupid, and slow. I don't know how the bank will survive. Haven't you finished writing up your request yet?" He pretended to take one from Nick. "No reference- no files. Moron."

Nick laughed. The imitation wasn't half bad. Apparently he hadn't been the first guy ever to ask for files without giving his proper personal reference. Feller motioned for him to come behind the counter.

"I need the file for numbered account 549.617 RR," Nick said.

Feller repeated the number and set off down the central path that ran between the rows and rows of shelves. "Five four nine, what was the rest?"

"Six one seven."

"All right, come right this way."

They walked a few yards farther, then took a right turn down a row of shelved materials stacked fifteen feet high. Like street signs, numbers were posted at every corner. Feller moved quickly through the narrow aisles. After a break in the shelves, he turned left down a narrower corridor, hardly wide enough for two persons to stand side by side. Suddenly he stopped."Here we are then, 549.617 RR. What do you need from this file?"

"Just the uncollected correspondence."

"Up on the fourth shelf." Feller pointed above Nick's head. "I can't reach it."

"Don't you have a ladder for this?"

"There's one here someplace. Quicker just to climb up the shelves. We used to have races to see who could touch the ceiling first."

"Really?" said Nick. He needed exactly such a distraction to occupy Feller. He stood on his tiptoes, and the fingers of his right hand just reached the Pasha's file. "You think you still have it in you?"

"Naw, I'm too used to life on the Fourth Floor," said Feller, patting his belly.

Nick spotted his cue. "I don't believe that for a second, Reto. Give it a go. I'll let you practice a few times and then I'll whip you myself."

"You? With your leg? I'm not a cruel man." But Feller was already removing his suit jacket. "Not in normal circumstances, anyway. But hey, if you want a thrashing, no problem. "He turned his back to Nick and trained his eyes on the small spaces and gaps in each shelf that might serve as his footholds.

Nick withdrew the file from his back and laid it on an empty section of shelf. Tiptoeing, he stretched to reach the Pasha's file.

A terrible racket echoed through the hallways as Feller clambered up the shelves and touched the ceiling. "See, Neumann," he called, glowing with pride from his perch between the shelves. "That took about four seconds."

"Damn quick," said Nick with appropriate awe. He glanced down to be sure that his body was blocking the shelf where he had laid the surrogate file. It was.

"Are you kidding?" asked Feller, caught up in revisiting his old haunts. "On a good day, I could make it up and down in four seconds. Here goes again." He clattered down the shelves, and before Nick could worry that he might spot the file, he turned around and climbed right back up again. He had made it halfway up to the top when the security guard yelled from across the room. "What are you two doing back there? Come here at once."

Feller froze where he was, back turned to Nick.

Nick grabbed the edge of the Pasha's file and freed it from its bin. He opened its cover and took out the pile of fake correspondence he had made up a few days before. Then, he rammed the file- which was much thicker than he had remembered- into the back of his pants, pulling his jacket down to cover the bulge. Christ, it felt like he had an anvil strapped to his waist.

The guard called once again across the room. "Hurry up and come back here. What are you doing?"

Feller answered with an irreverence Nick hadn't known he possessed. "We're climbing the walls, what do you think?" He looked over his shoulder at Nick and winked.

"Hurry up, then," replied the guard. "Zurich Grasshopper is playing Neuchatel Xamax. You damn suits will make me miss the kickoff."

Nick tapped Feller on the leg and handed him the surrogate file. "Put that back for me, will you. You can reach the bin from where you are."

The security guard popped his head around the corner. His regard went from Nick to Feller.

Feller replaced the dossier and dropped to the ground. "Looks like our race will have to be rescheduled. Got everything you need?"

Nick held up the counterfeit bundle of the Pasha's correspondence. "Everything."

CHAPTER 54