No Business of Mine

The door opened and a sad looking little man wandered in. I gaped at him, scarcely believing my eyes. It was Henry Littlejohns.

“For the love of mike!” I exclaimed, struggling upright. “What brings you here.”

“Good evening, Mr. Harmas,” he said, in his sad voice. He looked around for somewhere to park his bowler hat, laid it down on the chest of drawers, came farther into the room. “I’m indeed sorry to find you in this unhappy state, sir,” he went on, visibly shocked at my appearance. “I trust you are making a good recovery?”

“Never mind all that stuff,” I said, impatiently. “I’m fine. Sit down. Make yourself at home. I thought you were in Lakeham.”

“So I was, sir,” he said, drawing up a chair and sitting down. He pulled up his trousers so they shouldn’t bag at the knees, fidgeted with his feet. “At least, I was until this afternoon.”

I saw he wasn’t at ease, offered my carton of cigarettes.

“No, thank you, sir,” he said, shaking his head. “I don’t smoke.” He regarded me with his sad eyes, chewed the end of his moustache.

“Something to report?” I asked, wondering what was coming.

“Not exactly, sir,” he said, drumming on his knees. “I don’t suppose you’ve heard from Mr. Merryweather yet?”

“I’ve heard nothing from Merryweather,” I said, puzzled.

“Anything wrong?”

Littlejohns stroked his greying hair, looked self-conscious. “The fact of the matter is, sir, Mr. Merryweather has withdrawn from your case.”

“The hell he has,” I said, sitting bolt-upright, and wishing I hadn’t.

“What’s the idea?”

“You see, sir, Mr. Merryweather at no time thought the investigation within our usual terms of reference,” Littlejohns explained. “The... er... pecuniary aspect of the case interested him — tempted him, you might say, but he now has been threatened — well, he thinks there’ll be no useful purpose served in continuing the investigation.”

I pricked up my ears. “Threatened?”

Littlejohns nodded gravely. “Apparently two men visited him yesterday morning. They were rough characters, and they made it clear that if he did not immediately stop working for you, they would settle his hash, I believe was the phrase used.”

I lit a cigarette, scowled. It seemed Bradley was working overtime.

“You mean Merryweather allowed these two guys to throw a scare into him?”

“They were exceptionally rough characters,” Littlejohns said hurriedly, as if anxious to excuse Merryweather’s lack of courage. “They smashed his desk, said they had beaten you up and would beat Merryweather up too. He isn’t exactly young, and he has a wife to consider. I can’t say I blame him for withdrawing, and I hope, sir, you’ll take the same view.”

He looked so solemn that I burst out laughing.

“That’s okay,” I said, lay back on my pillow and grinned at him. “I bet they scared the daylight out of the poor old geyser. I don’t blame him in the least. They nearly, but not quite, scared the daylight out of me.” I looked at him, suddenly puzzled. “But why did you come here to tell me all this? What’s it to do with you?”

Littlejohns pulled at his moustache. “I’m very sorry to be taken off this case, sir,” he said. “Very sorry. You see, sir, I liked the excitement. You may not believe it, but I’ve always wanted to be a detective ever since I was a nipper. I’ve been disappointed with the work up to now. Mr. Merryweather doesn’t get much business. The cases that do come our way are the usual divorce cases. Not, as you will appreciate, very congenial work: very dull, if I may say so. I dislike spying on married couples. But I have to do the work. I’m not getting any younger; jobs are difficult to come by. I thought I’d explain my position, sir. I hope you’ll forgive me taking up your time. What I was going to suggest...” He paused, looked embarrassed. “If you’ll excuse the liberty, what I was going to suggest was that I should continue with the case. I’d be very happy to take reduced fees, and Mr. Merryweather has nothing for me at the moment. He pays me only when I’m working for him. So I thought I’d offer my services, not that you’d want to continue the arrangement, but I thought there’d be no harm in mentioning it.”

I gaped at him. “But, look, if they’re threatening Merryweather, that’ll also include you.”

“I don’t believe in being intimidated by threats,” he said quietly. “I assure you I wouldn’t be put off by that kind of thing. I’m at your service if you still require me.”

I grinned at him, suddenly liking him immensely. “Sure, you go ahead. The same terms suit you?”

He gaped, stuttered. “Oh, but surely, Mr. Harmas, they were rather excessive. I would be prepared...”

“No, you’ll have what Merryweather got, so dry up,” I said firmly. “Don’t make any mistake: you’ll earn the money. There are a number of things to do with this case that I haven’t told your boss. I’m going to tell you, and you can then decide if you still want the job.”