No Business of Mine

“I heard the news,” he said, “and couldn’t resist coming to gloat. You’ve turned up enough times when I’ve been in trouble, you vulture, now it’s my turn.” He was oozing with happiness and geniality. “Who’s the young lady?”

Crystal made frantic signs to me behind his back, but I pretended to ignore them.

“She’s my cousin twice removed,” I said. “Maybe, it’s three times removed. I’ve never stopped to work it out. Crystal, my dear, this handsome looking lug is Inspector Corridan. He works at Scotland Yard, and you know what I mean by the word ‘works’.”

Corridan lost a little of his sunny smile.

“The last time I saw her,” he said tartly, “was in your room at the Savoy. You told me then she was the floor waiter’s daughter.”

“That could still make her my second or third cousin,” I pointed out, smiled at Crystal, who was looking bewildered. “Don’t let the Inspector make you nervous. Without his wig and false teeth, he’s really quite a kindly old thing.”

Corridan lost his smile, fixed me with a cold stare.

“You take your idea of a joke a little too far, Harmas,” he said with asperity.

“Don’t get annoyed, pal,” I said. “I’m not in a fit state to be bullied.”

Crystal sat in a corner away from us, folded her hands in her lap, tried to look demure.

Corridan leaned forward. “Let’s cut out this fooling,” he said. “Who’s been knocking you about?”

I sighed, hung my head. “I was teasing a midget, and he lost his temper,” I said, closed my eyes.

Crystal sniggered, coughed, cleared her throat. Corridan looked annoyed.

“Now look, Harmas, that sort of thing won’t do. You’ve caused a lot of trouble, and we want to know what’s behind it.”

“I’ve told you,” I said, patiently. “At least, that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it. I have no complaints to make. I shall pay the hospital fees. I really don’t see why a flock of flatfeet should come barging in here to know why and what.”

Corridan breathed heavily, shifted in his chair.

“You’ve been assaulted,” he explained. “That is a police matter. It is your duty to file a complaint.”

“I’m most certainly not going to provide police with work,” I said crossly. “I stuck my neck out, and I got what was coming to me. This is a personal matter, and I don’t want you or your pals horning in. So forget it.”

Corridan studied me for a moment, shrugged. “All right,” he said, “if you’re still suffering from I’ll-steer-my-own-boat complex, there’s nothing more to be said. If you’re not going to file a complaint that lets me out.” He pushed back his chair, stood up. “I think I warned you to keep out of this business, didn’t I? It would seem someone else is also trying to persuade you. If this has anything to do with the Kennitt murder, you must tell me who did it or take the consequences.”

“I’ll take the consequences,” I said flippantly.

Corridan snorted. “Has this or has this not anything to do with the Kennitt murder?”

“I wouldn’t know. The thugs who beat me up didn’t leave their names and addresses.”

“So it’s thugs now?”

“That’s right. I was kidding about a midget. You know me: I’m tough. Takes more than a midget to beat me up. Those guys were twice as big as Joe Louis. Twelve of them set on me and I fought them for two or three hours. And what a tight I gave them! I laid eight of them out-crying for mercy they were. The other four kept coming and I kept hitting them. The siege of Stalingrad was nothing to it.” Finally paused as Corridan, giving me an awful look, stamped out of the room.

Crystal ran over to me.

“Oh, you shouldn’t have annoyed him like that,” she said, shocked. “He might get you into trouble.”

I reached out, pulled her down beside me.

“That wouldn’t worry me, honey,” I said. “The guy’s harmless enough, but dumb.”

“I don’t like him,” Crystal said, putting her head on my shoulder. She hurt me, but it was worth it. “I don’t like the way he looks at me.”

“And just how does he look at you?”

“That’s something a girl could only tell her mother,” she replied primly.

A few minutes later a nurse came in. Crystal had heard her coming and was standing by the window, trying to look unruffled and not succeeding very well. The nurse shooed her away, then took my pulse, dabbed something on my bruises and told me to go to sleep.

Oddly enough, I didn’t seem to need much encouragement, and I didn’t awaken until dusk was falling. I felt better, got out of bed, walked stiffly across to the mirror on the wall, examined my features with mixed feelings.

I certainly looked a great deal worse than I felt. I had two black eyes, the end of my nose was red and swollen, two livid bruises showed on my cheek-bones, my right ear was puffy. My chest and arms were black with bruises. The three thugs had certainly done a good job on me.

I returned to my bed, stretched out, decided I wasn’t quite fit enough to start any trouble for the time being. In a day or so I should be ready for Bradley. I was going to surprise that rat.

I heard footsteps, followed by a knock on the door. I called; “Come in,” hopefully, half sat up.