Mia Goes Fourth

This was certainly true, if my ex-boyfriend Kenny had been any sort of indication.

'I know.' Tina said, sounding like she'd just gotten a good idea. 'Why don't you ask Lilly?'

'I don't know,' I said. 'I'd feel kind of funny about dragging her into something that's between Michael and me .. .' The truth was, Lilly and I still hadn't really even talked about me liking her brother, and her brother liking me back. I had always

thought she'd be kind of mad about it. But then it turned out in the end she actually kind of helped us get together, by

telling Michael I was the one who'd been sending him these anonymous love letters.

'Just ask her,' Tina said. 'And then call me back! I want to know what she says.' 'OK,' I said.

Then I hung up and looked at the number Tina had given me for Lilly and Michael's grandmother's condo. I have to admit

that, as I dialled, my fingers were shaking. I mean, I was going to talk to Michael - Michael, my new boyfriend, whom I'd l

oved for years and years - for the first time since we'd stood kissing outside my apartment building on Thompson Street.

What was I going to say? I had no idea. The only thing I knew for sure was that I was not going to say, 'Do you like me as

a friend, or do you like me as a girlfriend?' Because Tina had told me not to.

Lilly answered on the first ring. Our conversation went like this:

Lilly: (Sounding grouchy) It's about time. I thought you'd never call.

Me: (Sounding defensive) You never gave me your grandma's number.

Lilly: What? And you couldn't figure it out? I mean, you take off for Genovia, and you don't leave me a number

          where I can reach you . . .

Me: I didn't know the number. My dad always calls me. Besides, you didn't give me the number where you were

       going to be, either . . .

Lilly: You don't respond to my emails . . .

Me: There's no DSL here. Only dial-up, and it takes forever, and besides, I don't know how to access my account

        from Europe . . .

Lilly: I even called your mom, and she gave me the number, and the stupid palace operator wouldn't put me through!

         She said something about Prince William. Are you two going out now, or something?

Me: (Way surprised) Me and Prince William? NO! I barely said two words to him. Why? (Starting to panic) Did

       the papers say I'm going out with him? Because I'm not. I'm totally not. Does Michael think I'm going out with him?

Lilly: How should I know? I'd have to talk to him.

Me: You two aren't talking? Why aren't you talking? Because he's going out with another girl? Is that it, Lilly?

        Michael met another girl, didn't he? Does she know how to boogie board? Oh, my God, I'm going to kill myself.

Lilly: What happens when people go to Europe, anyway? Do they suddenly become insane, or something?

Me: Just tell me the truth, Lilly, I can take it. Has Michael found another girl? Is her name Tiffany? All girls from

       warm states are named Tiffany.

Lilly: First of all, for Michael to have met another girl, that would mean he'd have to tear himself from his laptop

         and leave the condo, which he hasn't done once the entire time we have been here. He is as pasty-skinned as

         ever. Secondly, he is not going to go out with some girl named Tiffany, because he likes you.

Me: (Practically crying with relief) Really, Lilly? You swear?You aren't just lying to make me feel better?

Lilly: No, I'm not. Though I don't know why I should be so nice to you, since you didn't even remember his birthday.

I felt something clutch at my throat. 'His birthday?' I shrieked. 'Oh my God, Lilly, I completely forgot!'

'Yes,' Lilly said. 'You did. But don't worry. I'm pretty sure he didn't expect a card or anything. I mean, you're off being the Princess of Genovia. How can you be expected to remember something as important as your boyfriend's birthday?'

This seemed really unfair to me. Michael and I have only been going out for twenty-one days, and for twenty of them,

I had neither seen nor spoken to him, not even once. Plus, I have been busy. I mean, it is all very well for Lilly to joke,

but I haven't seen her christening any battleships or campaigning among her populace for the rights of bottlenose dolphins.

It may never have occurred to anyone, but this princess stuff is hard work.

'Lilly,' I said. 'Can I talk to him, please? Michael, I mean?'

'I suppose,' Lilly said with a sigh, sounding very tired of me. Then she screamed, 'Michael! Phone!'

It was a long time after that that I finally heard some footsteps, and then Michael going to Lilly, 'Thanks,' and Lilly going, 'Whatever.' Then Michael picked up the phone and went, kind of curiously, since Lilly hadn't told him who it was, 'Hello?'