Mia Goes Fourth

or she may not want to rise to every challenge or potential. And stubborn? Ah yes! The Taurus Bull may always surface. This sign's Yin energy can also go too far, causing Taurus to become very, very passive. Still, you cannot

ask for a better lover, or more loyal friend.

Michael + Mia =

Courageous, ambitious Earth signs, Taurus and Capricorn seem to be made for each other. Both value career

success and share a love of beauty and of lasting, classical foundations. Capricorn's irony charms the Bull, while

the latter's expert sensuality rescues the Capricorn from his or her obsession with career. They enjoy talking

together, and communication is excellent. They confide in each other, promising never to offend or betray the

other. This could be a perfect couple.

See! We're perfect for each other! But expert sensuality? Me? Um, I don't think so.

Still . . . I'm so happy! Perfect! You can't get better than perfect!

Sunday; January 10, 10 a.m.,

Palais de Genovia Chapel

Oh, my God, I have only been Michael's girlfriend for twenty-three days, and already I suck at it. The girlfriend thing, I mean.

I can't even figure out what to get him for his birthday. He is the love of my life, the reason my heart beats. You would think

I would know what to get the guy.

But God no. I haven't got a clue.

Tina says the only appropriate thing to get for a boy you have only been officially dating for less than four weeks is a sweater. And she says even that is pushing it as Michael and I have not even been out on an official date yet, so technically, how can

we be dating?

But a sweater? I mean, that is so unromantic. It is the kind of thing I would get my dad — if he wasn't so in need of anger-management manuals, which is what I got for him for Christmas. I would get a sweater for my stepdad for sure.

But my boyfriend?

I was kind of surprised Tina would suggest something so banal, as she is basically the resident romance expert of our little group. But Tina says the rules about what to give boys are actually very strict. Her mom told them to her. Tina's mom used to be a model and international jet-setter who once dated a sultan, so I guess she would know. The rules for presents for guys, according to Mrs Hakim Baba, go:

Length of Time Going Out:                                                             Appropriate Gift:

1-4 months                                                                                Sweater

5—8 months                                                                             Cologne

9-12 months                                                                             Cigarette lighter*

1 year +                                                                                    Watch

*Mrs Hakim Baba says that for a non-smoker, an engraved pocket knife or brandy flask may be substituted.

But this is better at least than Grandmere's list of what is appropriate to give boyfriends, which she presented to

me yesterday, as soon as I mentioned to her my horrible faux pas of missing Michael's birthday. Her list goes:

Length of Time Going Out:                                                          Appropriate Gift:

1—4 months                                                                           Candy

5-8 months                                                                              Book

9-12 months                                                                            Handkerchief

1 year +                                                                                  Gloves

Handkerchiefs? Who gives handkerchiefs any more? Handkerchiefs are completely unhygienic!

And candy? For a guy????

But Grandmere says the same rules apply for girls as for boys. Michael is not allowed to give me anything but candy

or possibly flowers for my birthday, either!

Overall, I think I prefer Mrs Hakim Baba's list.

Still, this whole dating/present-giving thing is so difficult! Everybody says something different. Like I called my mom and

asked her what I should give Michael, and she said silk boxer shorts.

But I can't give Michael UNDERWEAR!!!!!!!

I wish my mom would hurry up and have this baby already so she would stop acting so weird. She is pretty much useless