Lament for a lost lover

The air was sharp and frost glittered on the trees as we waved them off and stood watching their departure. Slowly, because of the packhorses, they made their way to the road, Monsieur Lamotte leading his troop like a biblical patriarch. I felt as though I were watching a scene on a stage. This was the end of the first act and I was thankful that it was not the end of the play. Upstairs lay the leading actress, and while she was on stage the drama must continue. As soon as they had gone I went upstairs. She lay on her bed, the rugs pulled up to her chin, her hair spread around her. She was smiling, almost purring; I thought she had a grace which could only be described as feline. “So they’ve gone,” she said.

I nodded.

She laughed. “Good luck to them. They’ll need it.”

“And you? “I asked.

“I have had the good fortune to hurt my ankle here.”

“Good fortune. I don’t understand.”

“Well, it is more comfortable here than on the road. I wonder what shelter they’ll find tonight. Not as cozy as this, I’ll swear. I’ve never played before an audience which gave me such rapt attention before.”

“Oh, but we know so little here of plays and suchlike.”

“That would explain it,” she said, and laughed again. “As soon as I saw you,” she went, “I hoped we should be friends.”

“I am so pleased. I hope we shall.”

“It is so kind of you to let me stay here. I was terrified that I should do my foot some harm. My feet are an important part of my livelihood, you understand.”

“But of course. And you will soon recover. I am going to get Madame Lambard to look at your ankle.”

“There is no hurry.”

“I think there is. She will know if anything is broken and what should be done.”

“Wait awhile and talk.”

But I was firm. I was going immediately to call Madame Lambard. Madame Lambard greatly enjoyed doctoring us. She always assumed an air of wisdom, lips pursed, head on one side, trying to talk of things we should not understand. There was a room in the Lambard dwelling which was entirely devoted to the distilling of her herbs ... a room full of strange odours with a fire and a cauldron perpetually simmering on it and dried herbs hanging from the beams. When she heard that one of the players had hurt an ankle, had stayed behind and was in need of her help, she was overcome with delight. Of course she would come. She would lose no time. The players had been wonderful. Alas that they could not stay and give them another performance. Even her sons had been excited. They had talked of nothing else since.

She came bustling up to the room in which Harriet lay, exude desire to be of service. She prodded the ankle and made Harriet stand on it, at which Harriet cried out in pain.

“Rest it,” declared Madame Lambard sagely. “That will heal it. I can find no bones broken. I shall put a poultice on it. My own special one. I’ll swear that by tomorrow you will feel the benefit. There is no great swelling. It will be healed, I promise you, very, very soon.”

Harriet said she did not know how to thank us all.

“Poor lady,” said Madame Lambard. “It must be irksome for you. All your friends gone on ... and you left here.”

Harriet sighed, but I thought I detected a secret smile about her lips that seemed to indicate that she was not as sorry to stay here as might be expected. “Alkanet,” said Madame Lambard mysteriously. “It’s in the poultice. It’s sometimes known as bugloss. There’s viper’s bugloss and field bugloss and the healing properties are without doubt. I’ve known it work wonders.”

“I know it well,” replied Harriet. “We call it dyer’s bugloss. The sap gives a red dye. It’s good for colouring the cheeks.”

“You ... use that?”I asked.

“On stage,” she replied, her eyes downcast and her mouth, which she did not seem to be able to control, showing some amusement. “We have to look larger than life on stage, otherwise those in the back row would not see us. So we make ourselves as colourful as possible.”

 “I like hearing about the players,” said Madame Lambard. “What a wonderful life you must have.”

Again that wry quirk of the lips. I thought for the first time: She is not what she seems.

How we petted her! Marianne and Jeanne made special dishes for her; Jacques enquired for her. Madame Lambard came in three times during the first day to change the poultice; the children Peeped in to talk to her and it was difficult to get them away. Lucas clearly adored her, and as for myself I was fascinated too.

She was aware of this. She lay back on her pillows and clearly revelled in her position. What seemed strange to me was that she did not seem to be very disturbed that the company should have left her behind. I supposed that she was so worldly that she was quite capable of making the journey alone when the time came to join them. I was very innocent.