Inside Straight

“Any rules?” Drummer Boy booms, shooting a shit-eating grin down at his partner in crime, Hardhat.

“Of course,” Peregrine says. “Just one: there are no rules.”

Most of the aces actually finish the phrase for her. Jamal can feel his heart rate rise, as it did when he walked from the on-deck circle to home plate… or his first moment on set.

“Okay, may I present… the Scavenger Hunt!” Peregrine pulls the covers off a giant electronic display—currently blank.

“Shit!”

“One minute, Mom. They lost the feed.” That from John Fortune, hand to earpiece, running toward a satellite truck a dozen yards away—no doubt happy to have an excuse not to be Drummer Boy’s Stepin Fetchit.

“Do the locations even matter?” Diver is behind him. “No matter what, I wind up fishing or swimming. The life aquatic. Christ.”

“Could be worse. You could be a tackling dummy like me.”

“A what?”

Jamal sighs. “Think of a punching bag on a sled. Football players practice tackles on it.”

“Let’s trade places. I bet I’d like being tackled more than you would.”

“You’ve got a bad attitude.”

“You have no idea.” She forces a smile.

“Okay, aces! American Heroes!” The board has been fired up successfully, a MapQuest look at Los Angeles County, with five beeping dots. One is in the Valley near the intersection of the 405 and Ventura Boulevard; one appears to be on a peak near Mount Wilson; one is in the middle of Beverly Hills; one is way the hell and gone in Venice, by the ocean; and one appears to be located just over the hill from Griffith Park Observatory.

Jamal has no interest in dragging his ass all the way to Venice, or up some mountainside, and—as a Los Angeles resident—knows better than to face the 405 and Ventura area at any time of day. He’d also like to avoid getting into a battle anywhere near Rodeo Drive. Who needs the attitude? Besides, he has a good idea what that fifth location is.

As Jamal watches, the screen changes, actual addresses and images popping up, to reactions that range from appreciative to confused.

The fifth location is Griffith Park Zoo.

Peregrine is posing for a trio of cameras. “You see your possible destinations. How you reach them and how you return is up to you.” She points to a huge, ridiculous clock, complete with American Hero hands, that has been dragged into the center of the circle. “When I say ‘go’ and the clock starts, you’re off.

“Any last questions?” Faux drama. Jamal finds this intensely annoying and turns away before he hears Peregrine shout…

“Go!”

~ ~ ~

The first challenge is the freakish mad scramble to decide which of the Clubs goes where. It takes two minutes of suggestions, argument, and actual shoving before it reaches total chaos. As Jade Blossom and Diver tussle over which of the pair would be best suited to search in Beverly Hills, Toad Man turns to Jamal and gives a half-smile. “This reminds me of a football huddle.”

“Yeah, but nobody is the quarterback.”

It’s Holy Roller who uses his voice and bulk to restore order. “Dammit, people!” The uncharacteristic use of profanity shocks the team to relative silence. “Time, as they say, is a-wasting. Brother Stuntman, you know this godless city better than any of us. Why don’t you give us some guidance—and quickly.”

Whether he likes it or not, Jamal is suddenly in charge. And the choices are obvious: “Brave Hawk, the mountain location. Reverend, you and Toad hit that Valley spot. Jade, Beverly Hills.”

Jade’s face lights up in triumph—which is bad enough, but then she elbows Diver. “Too bad, baby”—as Jamal is forced to say, “Diver, Venice.” Remembering their earlier conversation, he adds, “Sorry.”

If Diver’s wild card were laser eyes, Jamal’s head would vaporize. “Fuck you, Stuntman. Where are you going?”

“The zoo.”

~ ~ ~

The departure is a mad scramble, and not just for Clubs. Brave Hawk flaps into the sky. A few seconds later, Jetman launches himself in a blast of smoke and flame, the echo booming off the hills. Buford transforms into a toad the size of a Volkswagen and goes bounding off, with Roller rumbling behind him. A pelican the size of a hot air balloon appears out of nowhere and flaps off to the northeast—one of Dragon Girl’s stuffed toys, transformed. Is she heading for the zoo? Or Mount Wilson to battle Brave Hawk and Jetman?

Jamal hears Rosa Loteria shouting for Rustbelt to “take the zoo!” The ridiculous-looking hoser ace jumps into a production truck and starts grinding the gears… the whole interior of the vehicle is probably now rust. Jade Blossom grabs John Fortune’s cell phone and calls for a cab. Well, she’s headed for Beverly Hills.

Ever Big Bill Norwood’s son, Jamal gets a good jump, running for the Humvee and sliding into the driver’s seat before anyone else even reaches the parking lot. He is amused to find Art in the back with Diaz and camera in the passenger seat. “Who did you guys piss off today?”

“You’re not gonna be pointing at us all day, are you, Stuntman?” Art sounds completely beaten down.