In Search of the Miraculous

But when he begins to work on himself a man must give up his own decisions,

'sacrifice his own decisions,' because otherwise the will of the man who directs his

work will not be able to control his actions.

"In schools of the religious way 'obedience' is demanded before anything else, that

is, full and unquestioning submission although without understanding. Schools of the

fourth way demand understanding before anything else. Results of efforts are always

proportional to understanding.

"Renunciation of his own decisions, subordination to the will of another, may

present insuperable difficulties to a man if he had failed to realize beforehand that

actually he neither sacrifices nor changes anything in his life, that all his life he has been subject to some extraneous will and has never had any decisions of his own. But

a man is not conscious of this. He considers that he has the right of free choice. It is

hard for him to renounce the illusion that he directs and organizes his life himself. But no work on himself is possible until a man is free from this illusion.

"He must realize that he does not exist; he must realize that he can lose nothing because he has nothing to lose; he must realize his 'nothingness' in the full sense of

the term.

"This consciousness of one's nothingness alone can conquer the fear of

subordination to the will of another. However strange it may seem, this fear is

actually one of the most serious obstacles on a man's path. A man is afraid that he

will be made to do things that are opposed to his principles, views, and ideas.

Moreover, this fear immediately creates in him. the illusion that he really has

principles, views, and convictions which in reality he never has had and never could

have. A man who has never in his life thought of morality suddenly begins to fear that

he will

be made to do something immoral. A man who has never thought of his health and

who has done everything possible to ruin it begins to fear that he will be made to do

something which will injure it. A man who has lied to everyone, everywhere, all his

life in the most barefaced manner begins suddenly to fear that he will be made to tell

lies, and so on without end. I knew a drunkard who was afraid more than anything else

that he would be made to drink.

"The fear of being subordinated to another man's will very often proves stronger

than anything else. A man does not realize that a subordination to which he

consciously agrees is the only way to acquire a will of his own."

Next time G. began again with the question of will.

"The question of will, of one's own will and of another man's will, is much more

complicated than it seems at the first glance. A man has not sufficient will to do, that is, to control himself and all his actions, but he has sufficient will to obey another

person. And only in this way can he escape from the law of accident. There is no other way.

"I mentioned before about fate and accident in man's life. We will now take the meaning of these words in more detail. Fate also exists but not for everyone. Most

people are separated from their fate and live under the law of accident only. Fate is the result of planetary influences which correspond to a man's type. We will speak about

types later. In the meantime you must grasp one thing. A man can have the fate which

corresponds to his type but he practically never does have it. This arises because fate

has relation to only one part of man, namely to his essence.

"It must be understood that man consists of two parts: essence and personality.

Essence in man is what is his own. Personality in man is what is 'not his own.' 'Not his own' means what has come from outside, what he has learned, or reflects, all traces of

exterior impressions left in the memory and in the sensations, all words and

movements that have been learned, all feelings created by imitation—all this is 'not his

own,' all this is personality.

"From the point of view of ordinary psychology the division of man into personality

and essence is hardly comprehensible. It is more exact to say that such a division does

not exist in psychology at all.

"A small child has no personality as yet. He is what he really is. He is essence. His desires, tastes, likes, dislikes, express his being such as it is.

"But as soon as so-called 'education' begins personality begins to grow. Personality is created partly by the intentional influences of other people, that is, by 'education,'

and partly by involuntary imitation of them by the child itself. In the creation of

personality a great part is also played by 'resistance' to people around him and by

attempts to conceal from them something that is 'his own' or 'real.'

"Essence is the truth in man; personality is the false. But in proportion as personality grows, essence manifests itself more and more rarely and more and more feebly and it

very often happens that essence stops in its growth at a very early age and grows no