In Search of the Miraculous

'Ouspensky,' because he is himself, he must therefore master 'Ouspensky' and make

him do, not what the 'Ouspensky' of the given moment wants, but what he himself

wants to do. From being the master, 'Ouspensky' must become the servant.

"The first stage of work on oneself consists in separating oneself from 'Ouspensky'

mentally, in being separated from him in actual fact, in keeping apart from him. But

the fact must be borne in mind that the whole attention must be concentrated upon

'Ouspensky' for a man is unable to explain what he himself really is. But he can explain 'Ouspensky' to himself and with this he must begin, remembering at the same

time that he is not 'Ouspensky,'

"The most dangerous thing in this case is to rely on one's own judg-

ment. If a roan is lucky he may at this time have someone near him who can tell him

where he is and where 'Ouspensky' is. But he must moreover trust this person, because

he will undoubtedly think that he understands everything himself and that he knows

where he is and where 'Ouspensky' is. And not only in relation to himself but in

relation also to other people will he think that he knows and sees their 'Ouspenskys.'

All this is of course self-deception. At this stage a man can see nothing either in relation to himself or to others. The more convinced he is that he can, the more he is mistaken. But if he can be even to a slight extent sincere with himself and really wants

to know the truth, then he can find an exact and infallible basis for judging rightly first about himself and then about other people. But the whole point lies in being sincere

with oneself. And this is by no means easy. People do not understand that sincerity

must be learned. They imagine that to be sincere or not to be sincere depends upon

their desire or decision. But how can a man be sincere with himself when in actual fact

he sincerely does not see what he ought to see in himself? Someone has to show it to him. And his attitude towards the person who shows him must be a right one, that is,

such as will help him to see what is shown him and not, as often happens, hinder him if

he begins to think that he already knows better.

"This is a very serious moment in the work. A man who loses his direction at this

moment will never find it again afterwards. It must be remembered that man such as

he is does not possess the means of distinguishing 'I' and 'Ouspensky' in himself. Even

if he tries to, he will lie to himself and invent things, and he will never see himself as he really is. It must be understood that without outside help a man can never see

himself.

"In order to know why this is so you must remember a great deal of what has been

said earlier. As was said earlier, self-observation brings a man to the realization of the fact that he does not remember himself. Man's inability to remember himself is one of

the chief and most characteristic features of his being and the cause of everything else

in him. The inability to remember oneself finds expression in many ways. A man does

'not remember his decisions, he does not remember the promises lie has made to

himself, does not remember what he said or felt a month, a week, a day, or even an

hour ago. He begins work of some kind and after a certain lapse of time he does not

remember why he began it. It is especially in connection with work on oneself that this happens particularly often. A man can remember a promise given to another person

only with the help of artificial associations, associations which have been educated

into him, and they, in their turn, are connected with conceptions which are also

artificially created of 'honor,' 'honesty,' 'duty,' and so on. But speaking in general one can say truthfully that if a man remembers one thing he forgets ten other things which

are much more

important for him to remember. And a man particularly easily forgets what relates to

himself, those 'mental photographs' of himself which perhaps he has previously taken.

"And this deprives man's views and opinions of any stability and precision. A man

does not remember what he has thought or what he has said; and he does not

remember how he thought or how he spoke.

"This in its turn is connected with one of the fundamental characteristics of man's

attitude towards himself and to all his surroundings. Namely, his constant

'identification' with what at a given moment has attracted his attention, his thoughts or his desires, and his imagination.

" 'Identification' is so common a quality that for purposes of observation it is

difficult to separate it from everything else. Man is always in a state of identification, only the object of identification changes.

"A man identifies with a small problem which confronts him and he completely

forgets the great aims with which he began his work. He identifies with one thought

and forgets other thoughts; he is identified with one feeling, with one mood, and

forgets his own wider thoughts, emotions, and moods. In work on themselves people