In Search of the Miraculous

be Christians we must be able 'to do.' We cannot do; with us everything 'happens.'

Christ says: 'Love your enemies,' but how can we love our enemies when we cannot

even love our friends? Sometimes 'it loves' and sometimes 'it does not love.' Such as

we are we cannot even really desire to be Christians because, again, sometimes 'it

desires' and sometimes 'it does not desire.' And one and the same thing cannot be

desired for long, because suddenly, instead of desiring to be a Christian, a man

remembers a very good but very expensive carpet that he has seen in a shop. And

instead of wishing to be a Christian he begins to think how he can manage to buy this

carpet, forgetting all about Christianity. Or if somebody else does not believe what a

wonderful Christian he is, he will be ready to eat him alive or to roast him on hot

coals. In order to be a good Christian one must be. To be means to be master of

oneself. If a man is not his own master he has nothing and can have nothing. And he

cannot be a Christian. He is simply a machine, an automaton. A machine cannot be a

Christian. Think for yourselves, is it possible for a motorcar or a typewriter or a

gramophone to be Christian? They are simply things which are controlled by chance.

They are not responsible. They are machines. To be a Christian means to be responsible. Responsibility comes later when a man even partially ceases to be a machine, and begins in fact, and not only in words, to desire to be a Christian."

"What is the relation of the teaching you are expounding to Christianity as we know

it?" asked somebody present.

"I do not know what you know about Christianity," answered G., emphasizing this word. "It would be necessary to talk a great deal and to talk for a long time in order to make clear what you understand by this term. But for the benefit of those who know

already, I will say that, if you like, this is esoteric Christianity. We will talk in due course about the meaning of these words. At present we will continue to discuss our

questions.

"Of the desires expressed the one which is most right is the desire to be master of oneself, because without this nothing else is possible. And in comparison with this desire all other desires are simply childish dreams, desires of which a man could make

no use even if they were granted to him.

"It was said, for instance, that somebody wanted to help people. In order to be able to help people one must first learn to help oneself. A great number of people become absorbed in thoughts and feelings about helping others simply out of laziness. They

are too lazy to work on themselves; and at the same time it is very pleasant for them to

think that they are able to help others. This is being false and insincere with oneself. If a man looks at himself as he really is, he will not begin to think of helping other

people: he will be ashamed to think about it. Love of mankind, altruism, are all very

fine words, but they only have meaning when a man is able, of his own choice and of

his own decision, to love or not to love, to be an altruist or an egoist. Then his choice has a value. But if there is no choice at all, if he cannot be different, if he is only such as chance has made or is making him, an altruist today, an egoist tomorrow, again an

altruist the day after tomorrow, then there is no value in it whatever. In order to help

others one must first learn to be an egoist, a conscious egoist. Only a conscious egoist

can help people. Such as we are we can do nothing. A man decides to be an egoist but

gives away his last shirt instead. He decides to give away his last shirt, but instead, he strips of his last shirt the man to whom he meant to give his own. Or he decides to

give away his own shirt but gives away somebody else's and is offended if somebody

refuses to give him his shirt so that he may give it to another. This is what happens

most often. And so it goes on.

"And above all, in order to do what is difficult, one must first learn to do what is easy. One cannot begin with the most difficult.

"There was a question about war. How to stop wars? Wars cannot be stopped. War is the result of the slavery in which men live. Strictly speaking men are not to blame

for war. War is due to cosmic forces, to planetary influences. But in men there is no

resistance whatever against these influences, and there cannot be any, because men are

slaves. If they were men and were capable of 'doing,' they would be able to resist these influences and refrain from killing one another."

"But surely those who realize this can do something?" said the man who had asked the question about war. "If a sufficient number of men came to a definite conclusion that there should be no war, could they not influence others?"

"Those who dislike war have been trying to do so almost since the creation of the