Hogfather

A few minutes later they wandered off again, pushing a happy Arnold who was surrounded by hastily wrapped packages.

‘People can be so kind,’ said the Duck Man.

‘Millennium hand and shrimp.’

Arnold started to investigate the charitable donations as they manoeuvred his trolley through the slush and drifts.

‘Tastes … sort of familiar,’ he said.

‘Familiar like what?’

‘Like mud and old boots.’

‘Garn! That’s posh grub, that is.’

‘Yeah, yeah … ’ Arnold chewed for a while. ‘You don’t think we’ve become posh all of a sudden?’

‘Dunno. You posh, Ron?’

‘Buggrit.’

‘Yep. Sounds posh to me.’

The snow began to settle gently on the River Ankh.

‘Still … Happy New Year, Arnold.’

‘Happy New Year, Duck Man. And your duck.’

‘What duck?’

‘Happy New Year, Henry.’

‘Happy New Year, Ron.’

‘Buggrem!’

‘And god bless us, every one,’ said Arnold Sideways.^{99}

The curtain of snow hid them from view.

‘Which god?’

‘Dunno. What’ve you got?’

‘Duck Man?’

‘Yes, Henry?’

‘You know that stalled ox you mentioned?’

‘Yes, Henry?’

‘How come it’d stalled? Run out of grass, or something?’

‘Ah … it was more a figure of speech, Henry.’

‘Not an ox?’

‘Not exactly. What I meant was—’

And then there was only the snow.

After a while, it began to melt in the sun.

THE END

About the Author

Terry Pratchett is the acclaimed creator of the Discworld series, started in 1983 with The Colour of Magic, and which has now reached 38 novels. Worldwide sales of his books are now 60 million, and they have been translated into 37 languages. Terry Pratchett was knighted for services to literature in 2009.

Books by Terry Pratchett

Introducing Discworld

The Discworld Series is a continuous history of a world not totally unlike our own except that it is a flat disc carried on the backs of four elephants astride a giant turtle floating through space, and that it is peopled by, among others, wizards, dwarves, policemen, thieves, beggars, vampires and witches. Within the history of Discworld there are many individual stories, which can be read in any order, but reading them in sequence can increase your enjoyment through the accumulation of all the fine detail that contributes to the teeming imaginative complexity of this brilliantly conceived world.

The Discworld series

Have you read them all?

1. THE COLOUR OF MAGIC

2. THE LIGHT FANTASTIC

3. EQUAL RITES

4. MORT

5. SOURCERY

6. WYRD SISTERS

7. PYRAMIDS

8. GUARDS! GUARDS!

9. ERIC (illustrated by Josh Kirby)

10. MOVING PICTURES

11. REAPER MAN

12. WITCHES ABROAD

13. SMALL GODS

14. LORDS AND LADIES

15. MEN AT ARMS

16. SOUL MUSIC

17. INTERESTING TIMES

18. MASKERADE

19. FEET OF CLAY

20. HOGFATHER

21. JINGO

22. THE LAST CONTINENT

23. CARPE JUGULUM

24. THE FIFTH ELEPHANT

25. THE TRUTH

26. THIEF OF TIME

27. THE LAST HERO (illustrated by Josh Kirby)

28. THE AMAZING MAURICE & HIS EDUCATED RODENTS (for younger readers)

29. NIGHT WATCH

30. THE WEE FREE MEN (for younger readers)

31. MONSTROUS REGIMENT

32. A HAT FULL OF SKY (for younger readers)

33. GOING POSTAL

34. THUD!

35. WINTERSMITH (for younger readers)

36. MAKING MONEY

37. UNSEEN ACADEMICALS

38. I SHALL WEAR MIDNIGHT (for younger readers)

Other books about Discworld

THE SCIENCE OF DISCWORLD (with Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen)

THE SCIENCE OF DISCWORLD II: THE GLOBE (with Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen)

THE SCIENCE OF DISCWORLD III: DARWIN’S WATCH (with Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen)

THE NEW DISCWORLD COMPANION (with Stephen Briggs)

NANNY OGG’S COOKBOOK (with Stephen Briggs, Tina Hannan and Paul Kidby)

THE PRATCHETT PORTFOLIO (with Paul Kidby)

THE DISCWORLD ALMANAK (with Bernard Pearson)

THE UNSEEN UNIVERSITY CUT-OUT BOOK (with Alan Batley and Bernard Pearson)

WHERE’S MY COW? (illustrated by Melvyn Grant)

THE ART OF DISCWORLD (with Paul Kidby)

THE WIT AND WISDOM OF DISCWORLD (compiled by Stephen Briggs)

THE FOLKLORE OF DISCWORLD (with Jacqueline Simpson)

Discworld Maps

THE STREETS OF ANKH-MORPORK (with Stephen Briggs, painted by Stephen Player)

THE DISCWORLD MAPP (with Stephen Briggs, painted by Stephen Player)

A TOURIST GUIDE TO LANCRE — A DISCWORLD MAPP (with Stephen Briggs, illustrated by Paul Kidby)

DEATH’S DOMAIN (with Paul Kidby)

A complete list of Terry Pratchett ebooks and audio books as well as other books based on the Discworld series — illustrated screenplays, graphic novels, comics and plays — can be found on www.terrypratchett.co.uk

Non-Discworld books

THE DARK SIDE OF THE SUN

STRATA

THE UNADULTERATED CAT (illustrated by Gray Jolliffe)

GOOD OMENS (with Neil Gaiman)

Non-Discworld novels for younger readers

THE CARPET PEOPLE

TRUCKERS

DIGGERS

WINGS

ONLY YOU CAN SAVE MANKIND (see www.ifnotyouthenwho.com)

JOHNNY AND THE DEAD

JOHNNY AND THE BOMB

NATION