Frogs into Princes: Neuro Linguistic Programming

A few years ago we were doing a workshop and there was a woman there who had a phobia of driving on freeways. Rather than treating it as a phobia, which would have been much more elegant, I did a standard reframing to demonstrate that you can work with phobias with reframing, even though it's much faster to use the two-step visual/kinesthetic dissociation pattern. I said "Look, there's a part that's scaring the pants off you when you go near freeways. Go inside and tell this part that we know it's doing something of importance, and ask if it is willing to communicate with you." She got a very strong positive response. So I said "Now go inside and ask the part if it would be willing to tell you what it's trying to do for you by scaring the pants off you when you go near freeways." She went inside, and then said "Well, the part said 'No, I'm not willing to tell you.'"

Rather than go to unconscious reframing, I did something which may sound curious, but it's something I do from time to time when I have suspicions, or what other people call intuitions. I had her go inside and ask if the part knew what it was doing for her. She closed her eyes, and then she came back outside and said "Well, I... I don't... I don't believe what it said." "Well, go inside again, and ask if it's telling the truth." She went inside again, and then said "I don't want to believe what it said." "Well, what did it say?" "It said it forgot!"

Now, as amusing as that sounds, I always thought that was a great response. In some ways it makes sense. You are alive for a long time. If a part organizes its behavior to do something and you really resist it and fight against it, it can get so caught up in the fight that it forgets why it organized its behavior that way in the first place. How many of you have ever gotten into an argument and in the middle of it forgotten what it was that you were intending to do in the first place? Parts, like people, don't always remember about outcomes.

Rather than going through a lot of rigamarole, I said "Look, this is a very powerful part of you. Did you ever think about how powerful it is? Every single time you go near a freeway, this part is capable of scaring the pants off you. That's pretty amazing. How would you like to have a part like that on your side?" She went "Wow! I don't have any parts like that!" So I said "Go inside and ask that part if it would like to do something that it could be appreciated for, that would be worthwhile, and that would be worthy of its talents." And of course that part went "Oh, yeah!" So I said "Now go inside and ask that part if it would be willing to have you be comfortable, alert, breathing regularly and smoothly, being cautious and in sensory experience when you go onto a freeway on ramp. "The part went "Yeah, yeah. I'll do that." I then had her fantasize a couple of freeway situations. Earlier she was incapable of doing that; she would go into a terror state because even the fantasy of being near a freeway was too scary. When she went through it this time she did it adequately. She then got in a car, went out to the freeway, and did fine. She enjoyed it so much that she drove for four hours and ran out of gas on the freeway!

Man: At one point it looked like there was strain showing on Dick's forehead. I just wondered if he really was bothered or just concentrating.

If you were working with someone and you had a serious doubt about that, then you owe it to yourself to verify your suspicion or deny it. The easiest way, of course, is the same methodology. I would look at

Dick and say "I noticed a furrowed brow. That sometimes indicates tension, or sometimes simply concentration. I don't know which." It only takes an extra thirty seconds to have him go inside and ask the part of him that's wrinkling his brow to increase the tension there if it has some input to this process that it would like to make manifest, and decrease the tension there if not. That would give you an immediate verification, without any hallucination. You don't have to hallucinate, and he doesn't have to guess. You've got a system which allows you to get direct sensory signals in order to answer your questions.

I hope those of you who are hypnotists recognize a couple of patterns going on here. One is fractionation: alternating from turning inward and coming back to sensory experience—in and out of trance.