e9c12ac8d703d9a536f23183edf8b22c

“No, that’s the snag I keep hitting, too. I don’t think Angel would ever willingly part with her phone—it’s her lifeline to her friends, to school, to everything. Her life revolves around it. And I must confess I find the fact that her phone was found very troubling.”

“Yes, it’s definitely not a good sign,” Odelia agreed.

“So Francis—I’m sorry to have to pry,” said Chase, surprising me with the gentleness of his demeanor. For a bad cop he was surprisingly kind, I thought. “But you probably realize that there’s a solid chance that your relationship with Angel’s mother is going to become public knowledgeat some point. Have you considered the consequences?”

“I have,” said Father Reilly with a sigh as he intertwined his fingers as if in prayer. “And thank you for your consideration, Chase.” He leaned back and said, “Frankly there’s only one solution: leave my position here at St. John’s and make an honest woman of Angel’s mother—and recognize Angel as my daughter. I thought I still had time, but clearly I’ve put this off far too long.” He gave his guests a sad smile. “Subconsciously I must have figured I could put it off forever, but circumstances are compelling me to make a decision.”

“And have you made your decision?” asked Odelia, also speaking in that gentle tone I really didn’t like to see there at this moment. Not when she had to pounce!

“I have.” He gestured to his desk. “I’ve been writing a letter to the bishop, announcing my resignation and explaining the circumstances compelling me to take a step back from my role as parish priest. I’m also working on a sermon announcing my retirement, which I plan to deliver during Sunday mass.”

“So… you’re stepping down?” asked Odelia, who looked shocked by this piece of news.

“I’m afraid so. Marigold said something to me the other night that gave me food for thought. She said I’ve devoted my whole life to the Catholic Church, and all she and Angel were left with were the crumbs. It’s time to do right by them both, and devote the rest of my life to being a husband and a father. And God willing, Angel will return to us soon, and I’ll be able to tell her that I’m not a slave driver, but that I am, in fact, her father.” A lone tear had stolen from his eye, and was trickling down his cheek, and before my surprised eyes, suddenly Odelia got up from her armchair, and was giving the aged priest a warm hug. And then tough cop Chase was doing exactly the same thing!

“This is so disappointing on so many levels,” I grumbled.

“I think I finally figured it out,” said Dooley. “He’s an alien wearing a human suit. That would explain everything.”

“Oh, Dooley,” I said with a sigh.

22

“Honey, what’s going on?” asked Vesta as she walked into the kitchen. “Why is the bath full of mayonnaise?”

“Oh, Ma,” said Marge.

“I wanted to take a shower and now I have to clean up what looks like ten gallons of yucky sludge. What gives?”

“It’s that friend of yours. Dick Bernstein. He put this idea into Tex’s head that he needs to rub his scalp with mayonnaise and then he won’t go bald.”

Vesta frowned at this.“Dick Bernstein said that?”

“He did. And I’m blaming you, by the way.”

“Me! What did I do!”

“You sent Tex to talk to Dick, and now he’s bought himself a year’s supply of mayonnaise, and has been soaking his head in the stuff ever since he got home from work.”

“Well, I’ll be damned,” said Vesta with a tiny grin. She made sure not to show her daughter, though, for Marge looked upset enough as it was. And she didn’t blame her. If her husband started marinating his head in mayonnaise she wouldn’t like it much either. Of course her husband had soaked his liver in alcohol, which was probably worse.

“Do you think Dick is playing Tex for a fool? Or does he actually believe this stuff himself?”

Vesta held up her hands.“All I know is that Dick once told me he’d figured out the secret for keeping his hair. Though at the time he mentioned ketchup, not mayonnaise, so maybe he got things mixed up—I don’t know.”

“Ketchup!”

“Yeah, I thought it sounded like baloney, but you gotta admit: that man has great hair. And so does Rock.”

“They do have great hair,” Marge murmured.

When she continued looking distraught, Vesta patted her daughter’s shoulder. “Look at the bright side, honey. Mayonnaise is cheap. Cheaper than some of those hair products to treat premature baldness.”

“But Tex isn’t losing his hair.”

“He is getting thinner on top.”

“No, he’s not. That’s all in his head.”

“What’s in my head?” asked Tex as he strode into the kitchen with a spring in his step. He looked more chipper and bright than he had in a long time.

“You’re in a good mood,” said Vesta as she studied her son-in-law, and more specifically his hair. She didn’t notice anything different, but then the effect of that mayonnaise probably took a while to manifest.

“I wanted to thank you for that great tip, Vesta,” said the doctor as he grabbed a piece of cheese from the fridge and took a nibble.