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My three friends stared at me, and now I saw how all eyes turned to me—even Tex’s eyes, who must have finally gotten hip to the fact that he was the center of discussion.

“Oh, for crying out loud, Max!” the doctor yelled. “You promised not to tell!”

“I’m sorry, Tex!” I said, holding up my paw in a gesture of apology. “But the story is too good not to tell!”

“Take off your cap, Tex,” said Gran now.

“No,” said Tex stubbornly, as he went on grilling his sausages and steaks and whatnot.

“Oh, please take it off, honey,” said Marge.

“You know you want to, Dad,” said Chase with a grin.

“Oh, for Pete’s sakes,” said Tex, and then finally complied and took off his cap.

What appeared was an entirely bald pate—nice and shiny, like a billiard ball!

“Tex, what happened to you!” Charlene cried, bursting out in shocked laughter.

“Looks like my uncle’s methods didn’t work,” Scarlett added.

“It’s all Max’s fault,” Tex grumbled as he gingerly touched his cue ball.

“No, it’s your fault,” said Gran. She turned to her audience. “So Max decided to do as I suggested, and gave Tex’s head a nice, um, well, treatment.”

“You actually went and licked Tex’s head?” asked Harriet, eyes wide.

“Yeah, I did,” I admitted. “And let me tell you, it was a lot of work—the man has a big head.”

“He does have a big head,” said Dooley.

“Only turns out Tex is allergic to cat saliva,” I said. “He had a bad reaction—his skin broke out in a terrible rash.”

“Hives,” said Gran. “Worst allergic reaction I’ve ever seen in my life. Scaly, ugly red—”

“Vesta, please!” Tex cried imploringly.

“I’ve got pictures, in case you want to see,” said Gran gleefully as she took out her phone.

“Ma,” said Marge censoriously.

“Okay, fine—no pictures. But it was bad. Real bad.”

“She’s right,” said Marge. “We had to take my poor baby to a dermatologist.”

“The dermatologist said he’d never anything like it. And so he took pictures—to show to his colleagues and to his students,” said Gran with a grin.

“And so he shaved off all of Tex’s hair, and gave us a cream, which we’ve been applying diligently for the past week now. And it’s really cleared up, hasn’t it, honey?”

Tex nodded morosely, as he idly poked at a couple of charred mushrooms.

“The specialist assures us that his hair will grow back.”

“Let’s hope he’s right,” Tex grumbled, putting his cap back on.

“Well, at least now you know to stay away from experimental methods,” said Alec as he touched his own scalp, where not much hair was left. “You should wear your baldness with pride, buddy,” he added. “I do.”

“You’re not bald yet, sweetie,” said Charlene, as she gave her man’s pate a pat.

“I’m not bald,” said Tex stubbornly. “Just… temporarily… hairless.”

At this, they all laughed, and even Tex joined in, seeing the humor in the situation.

“So what’s the moral of the story?” asked Harriet.

“Never lick another man’s head,” said Dooley.

“I can tell you I won’t do it again even if they promise me the finest kibble in the world,” I said. “Did you know that human hair is much coarser than cat hair? I couldn’t feel my tongue for days. And also—that’s a lot of hair to lick, you guys!”

“You should have asked us to help you, Max,” said Brutus. “We could have tackled the man’s head together. You know, like the four musketeers. All for one, one for the bald one.”

“I don’t think that’s what the musketeers said, Brutus.”

“And I’m sure it is.”

“Okay, so maybe next time. Though Tex has sworn he’s never coming near cat saliva ever again.”

“I’ll bet it wasn’t so much the licking as the urine he poured over his head,” said Harriet. “Delayed reaction.”

“Or it could have been the mayonnaise,” said Brutus.

“Or maybe it was the combination of mayonnaise, pee-pee and Max’s licking,” Dooley said. He gave me a curious look. “When you licked his head, what did it taste like, Max? Did it taste like mayonnaise, or pee-pee, or both?”

“Shampoo, probably,” said Harriet.

I was pulling a face, and now asked,“Odelia, can you ask Tex if at least he washed his hair before subjecting himself to my… special treatment?”

Odelia dutifully translated my question, but Tex shook his head.“I read an article that shampoo should be avoided at all cost. Dries out the scalp. And just think of all those chemicals they put in there. So I stopped washing my hair a week ago.” He patted his head. “All natural, baby!”

Oh, dear. So that’s why Tex’s head had had such a funny taste. Yuck. Double yuck!

“Humans,” said Brutus, once he’d stopped rolling on the floor laughing. “You can’t beat them!”