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“At the bank we burgled last year,” Johnny said.

“You ‘found’ it in one of the safes you burgled?” asked Odelia.

“That’s right, Miss Poole—Mrs. Poole,” he quickly amended. “Congratulations on your wedding, by the way. And I’m sorry we couldn’t attend. We were otherwise engaged.”

“You were in prison, you mean,” said Tex as he yawned then plunked his head down on his pillow again and crossed his hands in front of his chest.

“So you burgled the bank, and you found this Pink Lady inside one of the safe-deposit boxes,” said Odelia, nicely reiterating the story as it had unfolded so far, “and then what?”

“Well, then we took a trip to Mexico,” Jerry continued the story.

“You mean, you ran away to Mexico, cause there was an arrest warrant out on you at that point,” Chase said.

“Unfortunately our trip was cut short by the very unhelpful local authorities,” Jerry continued, ignoring Chase’s amendment, “and so we lost the opportunity to sell the rock.”

“We’d found a buyer for it—a very upstanding gentleman from Colombia,” said Johnny. “But before he could hand over the cash, we were arrested and deported.”

“How much?” asked Gran.

“How much what?” said Jerry.

“How much was this Columbian gentleman offering for the diamond?”

“A hundred thousand,” said Jerry proudly.

There were shared looks of consternation in the room.“You do know that that stone is worth millions, right?” said Chase.

“We do now,” said Jerry. “Which is why we’ve decided to find ourselves a new buyer.”

“So in spite of the fact that you were arrested, you still managed to hang onto the stone?” asked Chase.

“Oh, sure,” said Johnny. “I hid it in the sole of my shoe. Only my shoes were in my luggage, and that was confiscated when we were arrested. Lucky for us the cops didn’t find the rock in my shoe.”

“I hate when that happens,” said Tex absentmindedly. He’d closed his eyes and looked as if he was napping. “A rock in my shoe,” he explained. “Very annoying.”

“So it took until last week before we got our stuff back,” said Jerry, “and frankly we were surprised that the rock was still there.”

“Couldn’t believe our luck,” Johnny said.

“So we tried to get in touch with our Columbian friend again, only he’d recently been found hanging from a bridge in Mexico.”

“Occupational hazard,” Johnny explained with a shrug.

“So we needed to find a new guy. And we’d just been asking around when doofus here went and lost the precious gem, didn’t you?”

“We went for a walk on the beach yesterday, and I decided to wear my lucky shoes. Only the sole must have come loose in that hot sand, and by the time I discovered I lost my sole—”

Tex laughed at this.“He lost his soul,” he said. “Literally, and figuratively!”

“Okay, so a little girl found the diamond, and then what?” asked Chase.

“We’ve been trying to get it back ever since,” said Johnny sadly.

“So how did you know it was in our safe?” asked Marge.

“Oh, Scarlett told me,” said Johnny, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Scarlett told you!” Gran cried.

“Sure. After the flat earth show was over—which honestly was a big disappointment, as I’d been led to believe it was a meeting of the brothers and sisters of the Jehovah’s Witnesses—I asked her out for a drink, and we got to talking—she’s a very nice lady, by the way, and very pretty.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” said Gran irritably. “Get to the part where she told you about the safe.”

“Well, like I said, we got to talking, and I told her how I lost that diamond, and how I didn’t know how to get it back, so she said I should talk to Marge, because she had it safely locked away in her safe, hidden behind the picture of an ugly gnome.” He directed a nervous look at the gnome.“I hadn’t expected it to be this ugly, though.”

“I’ll have you know that my gnome is a work of art, mister,” said Tex. “Precious art!”

“I’m going to have to have a long talk with Scarlett in the morning,” said Gran. “About secrets and how we don’t spill them to the first pretty face that comes along.”

“Why, thank you, Mrs. Muffin,” said Johnny, preening a little.

“I’d never call Johnny pretty, would you?” asked Harriet as she studied the big guy’s face.

“Well, he has a certain animal magnetism, I guess,” I said. “Which some women find attractive.”

“I certainly don’t think he’s pretty,” said Brutus. “But he is butch, and like Max says, a lot of ladies like butch. Isn’t that so, mama bear?”

“Absolutely, papa bear,” Harriet simpered.

“Oh, dear God,” I said under my breath.

“So what’s going to happen now?” asked Jerry, as he darted a nervous look at the cop in the room.

“By all rights I should arrest you,” said Chase, but then directed a questioning glance at his wife. “What do you think?”

“I’m not sure,” said Odelia, then looked to her mom for advice.