Death and the Devil

“D’you know,” she went on, “I sometimes think it would be nice to have someone who would just sit here and listen to me. When my husband—he’s a preacher with the Dominicans, very highly thought of—is giving a sermon, I’m left all by myself. I’ve got seven children, but they’re always out somewhere. Probably looking for the other five.”

“The other five?” the man stammered. “I thought you had seven?”

“Seven from my first marriage. With the other five I had with the canon that makes twelve hungry mouths to feed and nothing to eat. You wouldn’t believe how little the dyeing brings in.” The smile became even more radiant. “I’ve been wondering whether it might not be time to tell the old Antonite to pack his bags.”

“Er—wasn’t it a Dominican, you said?”

“It was, but it’s my Antonite I’m talking about now. Limp as a dishrag. Now when I look at you—”

“Just a minute!”

“A man of your size, built like one of the saints, a fount of wisdom, not like that wine merchant I—”

“Yes, I’m sure. Well, I wish you good day.” The man hurried after his companions, who were making their way back to Corn Gate, shaking their heads. “And if you should happen to see the thief,” he shouted over his shoulder, “then tell him—well—ask him—”

“Yes?”

“That’s right. Exactly.”

She watched the three disappear.

Then she burst into a fit of laughter.

Her laughter was louder than the bells of St. George’s. She laughed until her sides hurt and the tears were running down her cheeks so that she didn’t see the blue cloth rise up and slip to one side to reveal a soaking wet Jacob the Fox gasping for breath.

RICHMODIS VON WEIDEN

“So you’re a thief?”

He was lying on the ground beside her, still giddy and trying to get the last of the water out of his lungs. It had a somewhat caustic taste. Upstream from the blue-dyers were the red-dyers and some of the substances that got into the stream were better not swallowed.

“Yes,” he said, his chest heaving. “One that’s just committed a serious felony.”

She pursed her lips in a pout. “And you told me it was you who were running away from thieves and murderers.”

“I had to think of something. Sorry.”

“That’s all right.” She tried unsuccessfully to repress a giggle. “Pontius Pilate only washed his hands, so I imagine total immersion will do for you.”

“Hunger will do for me if I don’t get something to eat. My dinner was in that jerkin.”

“What jerkin?”

“The one—my jerkin. I had to leave it behind in the market. Force of circumstance.”

“Presumably in the form of people trying to recover property you had forgotten to pay for?”

“You could put it that way, yes.”

“What was in it?”

“In my jerkin? Oh, carrots, a sausage. Easy come, easy go.”

“More easy go in your case, there’s not much left at all. At least you’ve still got your breeches on”—she grinned—“even if it is a pair I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.”

Jacob looked at himself. There was some truth in what his new friend had said. But breeches and jerkin were all the clothes he possessed. Had possessed. He rubbed his eyes and poked his finger around in his left ear, which was still ringing from the water. “Did you believe it?” he asked.

“What?”

“My story.”

As she slapped the cloth vigorously up and down, she looked at him from beneath her long lashes with a mocking grin. “Even if your thieving is only half as bad as your lying I’d still advise you to keep away from the market for the next few decades.”

Jacob sniffed noisily. “I’m not bad at that kind of thing.”

“You just happen to like going for a swim. It might be hot water next time.”

“What can I do?” He tried, with limited success, to give himself an air of wounded pride. “Every profession has its risks. Except dyeing perhaps. A very exciting activity: blue dye in the morning, blue dye in the evening, blue—”

Her index finger pinned him to the ground.

“Oh, just listen to Mr. Clever. Here I am, sitting quietly by the stream when like a bolt from the blue this carrot-top appears and begs me to hide him. Then I have to engage that puffed-up codpiece in conversation, just for your sake, only to discover that the real no-good is there in the stream in front of me. And you call that no risk?”

Jacob said nothing. His thoughts were back with his lost dinner.

“Well, then?” she snapped. “Lost your tongue? Grown gills instead after all that time in the water?”

“You’re quite right. What can I say?”

“How about thank you?”

In a flash Jacob was on his knees, gazing at her with his devoted-spaniel look. “You want me to show my thanks?”

“At the very least.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

To her astonishment he began to rummage around in the apparently unfathomable folds of his breeches, muttering and cursing as he turned everything inside out and outside in. Suddenly he beamed, “I’ve still got it!” and pulled out an object, which he stuck under her nose.

She inspected it with a frown. It appeared to be a thin stick the length of her finger with holes in it. “And what is that supposed to be?”

“Listen.”