Daddy

“Will you be all right, Dad?” Oliver wondered if he should drive him home, but his father insisted that he preferred his independence. “Call when you get home then.”

“Don't be foolish!” George snapped. “I'm fine. It's your mother who's not well.” But his face softened again then, and he hugged Oliver to him. “Thank you, Son … for everything … and … I'm sorry about …”He glanced at Benjamin, and his look took them both in. “… about Sarah. Call if you need anything. When your mother's feeling a little better, maybe Sam could come over and spend a weekend.” But it didn't sound as though she was going to be getting any better.

Both men watched George drive away, and Oliver sighed as he closed the front door. Nothing was simple anymore. For anyone. It was sobering to think about the problem with his mother. He turned to look at Benjamin then, wondering what was going on in his life that he wasn't sharing.

“So where are you going these days when you're out till all hours?” He eyed him carefully as they turned out the lights and headed upstairs.

“Just out with friends. Same old crowd.” But something in the way he moved his mouth told Ollie he was lying.

“I wish I thought you were telling me the truth.”

Benjamin gave a start and turned to look at him. “What makes you say that?”

“It's a girl, isn't it?” Oliver was smarter than he knew, and Benjamin looked away with an odd smile that said it all.

“Maybe it is. It's no big deal.” But it was. A very big deal. His first affair, and he was crazy about her. They were spending every minute they could in bed. Her parents were out all the time. Both her parents worked, and they seemed to go out a lot, and she was the last child at home, so they had plenty of free time to themselves, and they knew exactly what to do with it. Sandra was his first big love. She was a pretty girl from his school. They were in the same chemistry class, and he was helping her pass it. She was on academic probation all the time, unlike him, and she didn't really care. She was a lot more interested in him, and he loved the way her body felt when he touched her. He loved everything about her.

“Why don't you bring her around sometime? Does Mel know her too? I'd like to meet her.”

“Yeah … maybe … sometime… G'night, Dad.” He disappeared swiftly into his room, and Oliver smiled to himself as he walked into his bedroom, and saw Sam, just as the telephone started ringing. He hurried into the bathroom with it, with the long cord Sarah had had installed so she could talk on the phone while she was in the tub, and in a hushed voice he answered. He thought that maybe it would be his father. But his heart stopped. It was Sarah.

“Hello?”

“Is that you?”

“Yes.” A long pause while he tried to regain his composure. “How are you, Sarah?”

“I'm fine. I found an apartment today. How are the kids?”

“Holding up.” He listened, aching for her, and then suddenly hating her again for leaving. “It hasn't been easy for them.” She ignored the remark.

“How was skiing?”

“Fine. The kids had a good time.” But it wasn't the same without you … he wanted to say the words to her, but he didn't. Instead, he said the one thing that he had promised himself he wouldn't. “When are you coming home for the weekend?”

“I just left a week ago.” Gone, the promise to return every weekend. He had known it would be like this, but she had so ardently denied it. And now she suddenly sounded so callous and so different. It was hard to believe she had actually cried with him before she left. Now she sounded like a casual acquaintance, calling to say hi, instead of his wife of eighteen years, having just moved to a hotel near Boston. “I thought we ought to give everyone time to adjust. After last week, I think we all need a breather.” That was why she had left them in the first place, for a “breather.”

“And how long will that be?” He hated himself for pressing her, but he found that he couldn't help it. “A week? A month? A year? I think the children need to see you.”

“I need to see them too. But I think we ought to give it a few weeks, give them a chance to settle down.” And what about me? He wanted to shout the words at her, but he didn't.

“They miss you a lot.” And so did he.

“I miss them too.” She sounded uncomfortable, as though she were anxious to get off. She couldn't stand the guilt of talking to him. “I just wanted to give you the address of my new apartment. I'll move in on Saturday, and as soon as I have a phone, I'll call you.”

“And in the meantime? What if there's an emergency with the children?” The very mention of it panicked him, but he had a right to know where she was. He needed to know, if only for his own sake.

“I don't know. You can leave a message for me at the hotel. And after that, I guess you could send a telegram to that address if you had to. It shouldn't take me long to get a phone in.”

The ice in his voice was only to hide the pain. “That sounds like a ridiculous arrangement.”

“It's the best I can do. Look, I've got to go.”