“It’s a beautiful day,” said Odelia, gesturing to the sun which was high in the sky and giving of its best as it had for the past couple of days. “The moment you step out of the pool you’ll be dry in no time.”
Dooley directed an uncertain glance at the sun, as if trying to ascertain the veracity of Odelia’s statement. He didn’t look entirely convinced.
“So who’ll go first?” asked Odelia, clapping her hands like a den mother.
“I’ll go first,” said Odelia’s grandmother, who’d joined us for this auspicious occasion, and true to her own words stepped into the pool and uttered a sigh of ecstasy. “Nothing like a cool bath on a hot day like this,” she said with visible relish. “My dogs love it.”
We all looked at her in alarm, but to my surprise I didn’t see any sign of dogs. “Where are the dogs, Gran?” I asked, figuring the old lady might be seeing things.
“I’m talking about my feet, Max,” she said.
Why anyone would refer to their feet as dogs is beyond me, but then we all know that humans are strange.
“Gran, the idea is to teach the cats how to swim,” Odelia pointed out. “Not for you to cool your feet.”
“I’m the designated lifeguard,” Gran said, tying the straps of the funky straw hat she’d placed squarely across her little white curls. “And a lifeguard should be right there where the action is. Which means right here in this here pool. Now are you going to start swimming already?” sheasked, giving us the kind of look that spelled doom. Gran isn’t one of those people who like to be kept waiting, and it was clear she was going to start dunking us into the pool if we didn’t get a move on soon.
“Why don’t you go first, Max?” Harriet suggested. She’s a pretty Persian and didn’t look all that excited at the prospect of getting that gorgeous white fur of hers all wet.
“Me? “I cried, my voice rising an entire octave. “Why me?”
“Well, someone has to go first, and your fearlessness is legendary,” she said sweetly.
It sounded like a compliment, but I had the feeling there was a hidden snag.
Brutus, who dislikes his girlfriend being complimentary to other male cats, now stepped forward with the kind of bluster that is typical for the butch black cat.“I’ll go first,” he announced, and approached the inflatable pool with a devil-may-care attitude that is typical for Hollywood movie stars of the James Bond variety. The moment he got closer to the pool, though, his resolve faltered and he stopped short of stepping into the inviting cool waters. “Um…” he said. “Are you sure this water is clean? I’m allergic to bugs, as they might do irreparable damage to the internal organs, and the external ones.”
“Oh, for crying out loud,” grunted Gran, and bodily picked up Brutus and placed him squarely into the water.
Brutus emitted a very unmanly high-pitched scream, and within seconds was scrambling out of the pool again, then squealed,“It’s cold! Cold and wet!”
“Oh, Brutus,” said Harriet with an expressive eyeroll. “Of course it’s cold and wet. It’s water. Now let me show you how it’s done.” And with a death-defying leap, she actually jumped… a few feet short of the pool. She produced an embarrassed little chuckle. “Oops. Must have miscalculated my approach shot. Let’s try that again, shall we?”
This time, however, she didn’t jump as much as ever so slowly trip up to the waterfront, daintily dipped in one paw, then shook it with a horrified expression of loathing on her face. “Brr,” she said. “Brutus is right. It is very cold and very wet, isn’t it?”
“Max?” suddenly whispered Odelia into my ear. She’d crouched down right next to me. I gave her a startled look. It’s never a good sign when you’re on the verge of being dunked into a very uninviting body of water and your human starts whispering into your ear. It can only mean one thing: doom! “Why don’t you go first?” she suggested ever so sweetly, confirming my worst suspicions. “If you go the others will surely follow.”
And I must confess it was at this moment that a mercenary streak in my character suddenly manifested itself, much to my own surprise. I didn’t go so far as to ask ‘What’s in it for me?’ but I did say, “And if I do go first…” and wiggled my eyebrows meaningfully.
Odelia smiled.“An unlimited supply of Cat Snax,” she said promptly. “For the next two—”
I raised an eyebrow.
“—three weeks.”
I like Cat Snax. In fact I love it, and I could probably eat a ton of the stuff. But even the prospect of feasting on my favorite treat did little to allay my fears.“So… if I step into the water, is Gran going to save me when I go under for the third time?” I asked.
“You’re not going to go under, even for the first time,” said Odelia. “The water isn’t deep enough.”
“Mh,” I said doubtfully. It was true that Odelia had explained that this was only the first step in teaching us how to swim, and if we passed this hurdle, in the next phase of the program we’d visit an actual pool and proceed to the next step: learning how to stay afloat by the judicious application of our paws and certain techniques she’d teach us.