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“Yes, Dooley,” I said. “You’re absolutely right. Love is blind, and a good thing it is, too, otherwise humanity would probably have died out a long time ago.”

“Not just humanity,” said Harriet with a cheeky glance at her boyfriend.

Just then, the front door opened, and Bella appeared. She was holding a mat and proceeded to hit it several times with a knocker, causing a cloud of dust to emerge from the household object. The dust wafted in our direction, carried by a gentle breeze, and soon we were all coughing and running for cover. Bella, who’d noticed this, smiled a sly little smile, and disappeared inside again.

And as I walked out into the street, to escape the dust particles tickling my throat and nostrils, I found myself looking up at a black van parked in the street. The license plate started with A5.

I frowned at the van, before the penny dropped.“Dooley!” I said. “It’s the van!”

“Oh, it is,” he said.

“Which means the thieves must be around.”

“What thieves?” asked Harriet. “What van?”

“The night Kurt’s house was burgled Dooley and I saw two masked burglars drive off in this van. I only managed to remember the first two digits of the license plate and gave them to Chase. He must have been too busy with his insurance fraud case to look it up. And now here it is. Parked right in front.”

We all shared a look, then slowly turned to look at the house in front of which the van was parked. It was Marge and Tex’s place.

And the only person who was inside… was Bella.

Could it be?

No, of course not.

What a ridiculous thought!

We still had to wait two more hours before our suspicions were confirmed. That’s how long it took for Blanche and Bella to finish their shift. When they walked out, slamming the doors of Odelia’s and Marge’s houses behind them, in amazing synchronicity, I might add, and met on the sidewalk, we held our breath for a moment.

“I think it’s them,” said Brutus.

“And I think it’s not,” said Harriet.

We were all seated in the front garden of Marge and Tex’s house, watching intently.

For a moment, both women exchanged pleasantries, then moved, as one woman, in the direction of the black van. Blanche pressed her key fob, there was the telltale beep beep sound of a car alarm being switched off… and they both got into the van!

“It’s them!” I cried. “They’re the burglars!”

“I knew it,” said Brutus. “I knew all along they were up to no good.”

“No, you didn’t,” said Harriet.

“They’re cat haters!” said Brutus. “What else can you expect!”

It took us a while longer to practice patience, until Odelia came home. To say she was impressed is an understatement.

“The cleaners! Are you sure?” she asked.

We all nodded, all four of us, and when she looked annoyed, I assumed it was because now she’d have to go and find another cleaner. Instead, she said, “I should have known. People who hate cats always have something to hide.”

And with these words, as much an admission of her error in judgment as anything I’d ever heard, she took out her phone and called Chase.

Epilogue

It was with sweet success still fresh in our minds that the four of us enjoyed the first fruits of Tex’s labors at the grill. Our resident grill master has steadily and slowly been improving his craft, but still the humans think it wise to allow us cats to have first dibs.

We can smell a turd from a mile away, and rotten food from even further. And if we dig in and enjoy the nibbles thrown our way, they know that the products of Tex’s grill are safe for human consumption.

“Who would have thought that the cleaners were also a couple of cat burglars,” said Charlene as she happily dug in. She may be skinny but she has an appetite on her that belies her slender form. Uncle Alec, who loves people who like to eat as much as he does, watched on with a distinct look of pride.

“Yeah, we found an entire stash back at their place,” he said. “Jewels, paintings, money… It looked more like an Amazon fulfillment center than a regular home. And lucky for us they hadn’t yet managed to fence off their latest haul, so Mort Hodge, Ida and Kurt have already gotten their precious stuff back.”

“And so have I!” Tex called out from behind the grill. He was sweating profusely, for the day was warm, but he seemed to be in his element, and the fact that Big Gnome #21 had been returned in pristine shape probably had something to do with that.

“They did fit the description,” Chase allowed. “Two burglars, one short and one tall. Though truth be told, Iris and Mira Johnson also fit the description, and so did Vale and Carew.”

“At least this time you got the right guy,” said Gran, who was still sore about the fact that her son was starting a dog kennel.

“Yeah, turns out we got the wrong guys, and gals, twice!” said Uncle Alec, though he didn’t seem too troubled by the fact. Then again, Charlene had relaxed her dieting instructions, and seemed to have decided to accept her man the way he was: curvy.