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Chapter 32

Dooley and I were hiding under the sheets, just like the last time we were under attack. Only this time our attacker was human, not some wannabe terminator, so it only took Blanche five minutes to discover our hiding place and root us out.

“Cats in the bed! Not on my watch!” she grunted, and actually kicked us out! From our own bed and our own home!

“Out! Out, I said!” she yelled as she first drove us down the stairs with a broom, then out the door. “And stay out!” she added for good measure.

Panting, we sat staring at the closed door with a measure of confusion, then I had the bad idea to try the pet flap, only to be confronted once more with the irritable Miss Blanche, who wielded her vicious broom again to drive me out and this time flipped the little lock on the pet flap so I wouldn’t stage a surprise return!

“This is too much!” I cried. “We have to get rid of the woman!”

“I think she’s probably right, though,” said Dooley, much to my surprise. “We do cause a lot of trouble for her. Because of us she has to clean extra hard.” He gave me a sad look. “It’s the shedding, Max. If only we wouldn’t shed so much, I’m sure she would be nicer.”

I had to concede he had a point. Then again, if Odelia hadn’t wanted pets that shed she wouldn’t have taken us in, would she?

“I just hope Blanche won’t be able to convince Odelia that cats belong outside and not in the house,” I said.

“Do you really think she’d do that?”

“I don’t know. If she threatens to quit her job if Odelia doesn’t comply, maybe.”

“But… I can’t be outside all the time, Max,” said Dooley, a sense of panic making his voice quiver. “Imagine having to sleep outside when it’s freezing—or snowing!”

“Yeah, not a fun prospect,” I agreed.

But then Dooley’s face cleared. “We can always stay at Marge and Tex’s. They won’t kick us out, will they?”

“No way,” I said. “Marge would never do that. Or Gran.”

And it was with uplifted spirits that we set paw for our second home—well, technically Dooley’s first home, as his official human is Gran, though he spends more time at Odelia’s than at Gran’s.

And we’d just arrived in the next-door backyard when Harriet and Brutus met us, both looking a little rattled.

“What’s wrong?” I asked immediately.

But Harriet merely shook her head, clearly too emotional for speech.

“Come,” said Brutus. “There’s something I need to show you.”

So we came, and followed Brutus in through the pet flap, and through the kitchen into the living room. There we saw Marge, talking to someone, and when I ventured a little further, suddenly I saw that it was… Blanche! Or not exactly Blanche but someone who resembled her in facial features. Only this woman was taller and slimmer, though looking just as stony-faced and no-nonsense as our own dour cleaning lady.

“More cats,” growled the woman as she caught sight of us. “Where do they keep coming from?”

“Oh, this is Max and Dooley,” said Marge. “They belong to my daughter, who lives next door. But then you knew that already, didn’t you?”

The woman grunted.“My sister and I don’t condone cats in the home. We believe that the home is for humans, and cats should be outside, catching mice and keeping themselves to themselves.”

“Oh, but our cats are perfectly house-trained, Mrs. Trainor,” said Marge.

“Miss Trainor,” said the woman. “But you can call me Bella. And it doesn’t matter if they’re house-trained. Cats are messy. They shed, and they rub themselves against walls and furniture, leaving spots. They scratch the couches, causing marks. And they dig their claws into sheets and blankets, tearing holes. Also, they are covered in parasites, dragging them into your home and even into your bed. No, if you want my advice, Mrs. Poole, you’ll do well to remove that pet flap and disallow your cats from using the house from now on. Much better that way. Much healthier.” And with a stern glance in our direction, she proceeded to survey the house, and listen to Marge’s instructions.

And as Dooley and I followed Brutus out again, through a pet flap that pretty soon might be removed, I was reeling. Actually reeling!

“She’s Blanche’s sister?” I cried.

Harriet wordlessly nodded.“They’re a package deal, apparently. Clean houses together as a team. So Blanche might clean Odelia’s house today, and Marge’s tomorrow, and the same goes for Bella. And they both hate cats.”

“They both hate cats,” I repeated in a whisper.

“She wants Marge to remove the pet flap,” said Brutus in somber tones, sounding like one bringing bad news from the front line. “And judging from Marge’s face I think she just might do it.”

Dooley gawped from Brutus to Harriet to me, and finally burst out,“We have to get rid of them, Max! Before they get rid of us!”

“They’d never go that far,” I said. “Marge and Odelia would never allow it. Would they?”

We all shared worried glances. It was obvious that our future was suddenly hanging in the balance. And that pretty soon now we’d be joining Clarice, our feral friend, having to spend the rest of our lives outside.