d5e426eccb138e04dab909926b2752c6

The guard didn’t look excited by the idea of having to bend over Jerry, whose face was now awash with his own saliva. “Yuck,” he muttered as he glanced over to the thrashing man and shoved the last piece of donut into his mouth, then wiped his hands on his trousers. “Um, I’ll call a doctor, shall I? Don’t go anywhere.”

Cop humor, Johnny thought.“Just open the door and check on him. Don’t they teach you CPR at the police academy? He’ll be dead soon and it’ll be on you. There will be an investigation and they’ll blame his death on you, sir.”

“Christ,” said the cop, rubbing his face with indecision. He then took out a key, inserted it into the lock and turned. The moment he entered the cell, Johnny heaved one of his meaty fists over the man’s head, and let it come down with considerable force.

The cop said,“Ick,” and went down like a ton of bricks.

Jerry, however, was so caught up in his performance that he hadn’t even noticed the work was already done, and the road to freedom wide open. Instead, he kept on foaming and thrashing like there was no tomorrow. Johnny, now seriously concerned, shook his partner by the shoulder. “Jerry. Jerry! Oh, God. He’s really dying!”

So he did the only thing he could think of, which was to take the bucket of water located in the corner of their holding cell, and chuck its contents into the cop’s face, waking the man up again.

“Do something, sir!” he cried. “My partner is dying!”

The cop took a moment to get his wits together, then got up, glared at Johnny, walked out of the cell and slammed the door shut and stalked off.

“Sir? Sir!” Johnny cried. “My friend—”

“You moron!” Jerry suddenly bellowed.

Johnny wheeled around and was relieved to see his friend back in his usual form.“Jerry! You’re all right!”

“Of course I’m all right! But you won’t be all right if I get my hands on you!”

And with these words he sprang up from his position on the floor, making a miraculous recovery the likes of which humanity hasn’t witnessed since Lazarus walked out of his cave, and started chasing Johnny around the cell.

Five minutes later, when Tex Poole finally arrived, doctor’s bag in hand, he took one look at Johnny and Jerry in the midst of their morning jog, shook his head and muttered, “Did you have to make me skip my breakfast for this?” and walked off again.

Chapter 30

I was so happy that Fifi was fine that it was with a spring in my step that I passed through the little gate and back into my own backyard, Dooley in my wake.

Fifi may be a dog, and cats and dogs don’t usually mix, but Fifi is a special kind of dog, very sweet and very cuddly, and I wish her nothing but the best, and most definitely not a piece of poisoned meat!

“If these are the same people that are responsible for the other burglaries, then we have to consider the fact that you arrested the wrong guys,” said Odelia as Chase stared at the piece of poisoned meat through the clear plastic baggie he liked to use for exactly this kind of purpose.

“Yeah, probably,” he said. “Though until we find these other guys you’ll never convince your uncle to let Vale and Carew walk. And definitely not after the stunt they pulled yesterday.”

“No, I guess trying to escape wasn’t the best course of action,” Odelia admitted. She and Chase walked into the house while Dooley and I stayed out and enjoyed the pleasant sensation of the morning sun on our fur for a few moments more.

Harriet and Brutus had joined us from next door, and it was with a light heart that I explained to them what had transpired in their absence.

“Fifi poisoned,” said Harriet, looking shocked and dismayed. “You do realize this could have happened to any of us, right?”

“I’d never eat a piece of poisoned meat, though,” said Brutus. “I’d know immediately that it was poisoned and I’d tell Odelia.”

“You’re right, hubby wubby,” said Harriet. “Only dogs can be so dumb to eat a piece of poisoned meat.”

I bridled a little at this. I mean, dogs will never be my favorite pets in the world, but coming on the heels of this near-tragedy, Harriet’s words stung, and I told her in no uncertain terms what I thought of them.

She seemed chastened after my reprimand, and said,“I guess I was being a little too harsh. Dogs aren’t dumb. They’re simply… undiscerning, shall we say?”

“All right,” I conceded. “I’ll give you that. Dogs can be a little undiscerning, that’s true. Which is exactly why Fifi ate that piece of meat.”

“I actually ate that piece of meat because it tasted good,” said Fifi, now joining us.

“Oh, Fifi!” said Harriet. “I’m so glad you’re all right!”

“Not only did it taste really, really good, but it also smelled fantastic,” said Fifi ruefully. “If only I’d known…”

“Don’t beat yourself up over it,” I said. “It could have happened to anyone.”

“Only to a dumb dog like me, though,” said Fifi.

“Oh, Fifi, please don’t say that,” said Harriet, horrified that the doggie had heard her words. “I didn’t mean it like that. You’re not dumb. In fact you’re probably the smartest dog I know.”