Confessions of a GP

It is actually really refreshing when a smoker walks in and says, ‘Yes, Doctor, I smoke. I know that it’s bad for me but I like smoking and I don’t really want to stop.’ So many patients make up a lame excuse that they then recite to me: ‘I stopped for a few days and that, but then my sister Amy, she was really upset ’cause Kevin, her bloke, done the dirty on her again and I ’ad to comfort her and it was dead stressful and I ’ad to have a couple of cigs to calm me down…’

Home births

Sophie is 32 and about to have her first baby. She is not a patient but a friend. Typically of my generation of middle-class women, she focused on her herself and her career before considering starting a family. Up until now every aspect of her life has been very effectively managed. She is used to having complete control and we had joked that her wedding last year was run with ruthless efficiency like a military procedure. Sophie is delighted to be pregnant and, like every big event in her life, she has carefully researched everything there is to know about pregnancy and birth. The single most important conclusion she has made is that she doesn’t want her birth to have anything to do with the medical profession.

‘I’m not ill, you know. I’m having a baby. It is the most natural thing in the world. Why should I go to a bloody hospital?’

Sophie had long since rejected Western medicine in favour of homoeopathy, acupuncture and herbal treatments. She only eats organic food and her near-daily yoga classes keep her fit. She had never really had to consider conventional medical treatments because she had always kept herself so sickeningly healthy. Sophie felt very strongly about having her baby at home with no medical intervention and she was ready to battle for her cause at any opportunity. We met up for a coffee and she was spoiling for a fight. Much to her disappointment, I am not particularly adverse to home births. Evidence suggests that if the pregnancy is uncomplicated, a birth at home is just as safe as a birth in hospital and it is certainly a much nicer environment. My personal reservation about births at home is the possibility of me as a GP having anything to do with them. Gone are the days when a GP would happily get out of bed at 3 a.m. to assist with a difficult home delivery. I have only ever delivered a couple of babies. That was some years ago and I had a very experienced midwife watching my every clumsy move. You really wouldn’t want me anywhere near the delivery of your child.

Doctors see the births that go wrong. They are clearly the minority but even in this day and age, babies and — even very occasionally mothers — do still die during childbirth. When you see a problematic birth, it tends to stay with you. Given the choice personally, I would probably put up with unfriendly midwives and bad décor and have my baby in hospital. I would want the reassurance that a team of specialists was on hand should things go tits up. Of course, as a bloke I will never have to make the decision so my opinion is fairly irrelevant.

Home birth advocates would say that delivering your baby at home leads to fewer complications as the mother is more relaxed and this reduces the rate of births that go to Caesarean section. Both of my friends who had opted for home births ended up going on to have a Caesarean after being transferred to hospital by ambulance. Rather than pushing towards home births, shouldn’t we try to put more effort into building birthing centres or making hospital a nicer environment to give birth in?

My only other comment on home births is that they are something that I remain immensely dispassionate about. The birthing experience is clearly very important for the parents, but middle-class women complaining that hospitals are a bit sterile and unfriendly is not my biggest concern as a GP. Home births are almost solely a concern for the middle classes. As with homoeopathy, organic food and rejecting the MMR jab, they tend to be the choice of healthy, educated and well-adjusted parents. Whether their child is born at home or in hospital, the child will probably be welcomed into a warm, loving, supportive family.