Coming Out

“He doesn't to me. He hasn't said anything, but whenever he doesn't know I'm watching him, he looks depressed, or pensive, or just sad somehow. Or worried. I don't know what it is. Maybe he's unhappy at school.”

“You worry too much, Ollie,” he said, smiling at her, and then he leaned over and kissed her. “That was a good game. I had fun.”

“Yeah.” She grinned at him as he put an arm around her. “Because you won. You always say it was a good game when you win.”

“You beat me the last time we played squash.”

“Only because you pulled a hamstring. Without that, you always beat me. You play squash better than I do.” But she often beat him at tennis. It didn't really matter to her who won, she just liked being with him, even after all these years.

“You're a better lawyer than I was,” Harry said, and she looked startled. He had never said that to her before.

“No, I'm not. Don't be silly. You were a fantastic lawyer. What do you mean? You're just trying to make me feel better because you beat me at tennis.”

“No, I'm not. You are a better lawyer than I am, Ollie. I knew it even when you were a law student. You have a solid, powerful, meticulous way of doing what you do, and at the same time you manage to be creative about it. Some of what you do is absolutely brilliant. I admire your work a lot. I was always very methodical about my cases when I was practicing. But I never had the kind of creativity you do. Some of it is truly inspired.”

“Wow! Do you mean that?” She looked at him with gratitude and pleasure. It was the nicest compliment he had ever paid her about her work.

“Yes, I do. If I needed legal advice, I'd come to you in a hot minute. I'm not sure I'd want you as my tennis teacher. But as my lawyer, anytime.” She shoved him gently then, and he kissed her. She always had a good time with him. And she was pleased to see that he'd relaxed finally, after their battles about the ball. He still said he wasn't coming, but she hadn't mentioned it to him in a while. She wanted to let the subject cool off before she tried again.

They talked about Charlie again as they walked home. “I just have the feeling something is bothering him, but he doesn't seem to want to talk.”

“If you're right, he'll talk to you eventually,” Harry reassured her. “He always does.” He knew how close Olympia was to her older son, just as she was to the twins, and to Max. She was a terrific mother, and a wonderful wife. There was so much he admired about her and always had. Just as she loved and respected him. And he knew she had great instincts for her kids. If she thought something was upsetting Charlie, maybe she was right, although she felt more relaxed about it after discussing it with Harry. “Maybe he got his heart broken over some girl.” They both wondered if it was that. Charlie hadn't had a serious romance in a while. He went out a lot, and played the field. He hadn't had a serious girl in his life in nearly two years.

“I don't think it's that. I think he'd tell me if it was about a girl. It seems deeper than that to me. He just looks sad.”

“Working at the camp in Colorado will do him good,” Harry said as they reached their front door. They could hear both boys rough-housing as soon as they walked in. Charlie was playing cowboys and Indians with Max, and you could hear their bloodcurdling war whoops halfway down the block. Charlie had used toothpaste and her lipstick as war paint on his face, and the minute their mother saw them, she laughed. Max was running around the house, brandishing a toy gun at his older brother, wearing a cowboy hat and his underpants. Harry joined the fun, while Olympia went to make them all lunch. It had been a lovely morning.

But she grew more concerned again a few days later, when she got a bill from Dartmouth for counseling services. She mentioned it to Charlie discreetly, and he insisted he was fine. He told her a friend of his had committed suicide during second semester and it had upset him terribly at the time, but he was feeling better now. Hearing about it worried her, she didn't want him getting the same idea, and she remembered reading about kids who showed no sign of stress, and then committed suicide without warning. When she told Harry about it, he told her she was being neurotic, and reminded her that the fact that he had gotten counseling was a good sign. It was usually kids who didn't get therapy or counseling who went off the deep end. Charlie seemed fine to him. They played golf together over several weekends, and Charlie came down to have lunch at his office. He said he was thinking of going to divinity school after he graduated, and the ministry appealed to him. Harry was impressed by what he said, and the insights he had about people and delicate situations. Charlie broached the deb ball with him once or twice, and Harry refused to discuss it with him. He said that he disapproved of an event that excluded anyone, tacitly or otherwise, and he had taken a stand.