Alfie in the Snow

‘George, you know you are entitled to spend time on your own, and I’m not going to stop that, but I am your father, and I’m entitled to check that you’re safe if I feel I need to.’ I was stern.

‘As you can see, I am.’ He shuffled around so he had his back to me.

‘George, I miss Tiger every second of the day, and I know you do too, but we’ve still got each other. We’re lucky to have that so it’s important you don’t push me away.’

‘But—’ he started.

‘No, no buts. I’m here for you, I love you and you have to know that. You can be angry, you can be sad, you can be whatever you need to be, but you can’t push away the people who love you, because that, George, isn’t going to help at all.’

‘I don’t mean to push you away,’ he said, his voice small.

‘Then why do you?’ I asked, kindly.

‘Because I’m scared. I didn’t know that you could get pain like this and what happens if I lose you too?’ He looked at me, his words coated in sadness, his eyes spilling over with fear. My heart, which was already in pieces, shattered a bit more. ‘I know you said you wouldn’t go for a long time but then with Tiger mum, she didn’t know, so that could happen to you.’

‘I can’t promise I’ll always be here, George, I wish I could. But, we have been through this, you’ve got me for a very long time. I’m incredibly healthy, and I’m not going anywhere right now.’ I was actually and on the whole took very good care of myself, I ate well, I exercised and I even ensured I drank plenty of water. ‘And I’m younger than Tiger was. I’ll take care of myself and do whatever I can to stick around for as long as I can, but you know what this whole death thing teaches us?’

‘No,’ he stated. I wasn’t sure either, but I ploughed on regardless.

‘It teaches us to make the most of living our lives. Make the most of our families, our friends, our fellow cats and our humans. If anything does happen to me – not that it will – you have Claire, Jonathan, Polly, Matt, Franceska, Tomasz and the kids, not to mention all the cats who were here for Tiger earlier. We are the lucky ones, George, and although it might not feel like it right now, it might never feel like it, try to remember that. Live your life to the full, that is what Tiger would have wanted. And also don’t push away those who love you. She would have told you that too.’

George stood up; he appeared to be thinking. I hoped, prayed I had got through to him.

‘You’re right, Dad, and I know it but the sad feeling is so strong.’

‘I know, son.’

‘But I will try and I’ll talk to you more about how I feel. Is that a deal?’

‘Yes, and not only will I listen but I will help you, that’s what I’m here for.’

‘Oh, come and meet my friend,’ George said, animatedly, and I saw the glint of the kitten I used to know. He sprang up and ran up to the windowsill. I reluctantly followed him. He sat on the windowsill and I saw the old man sitting in a chair. It was dark in the house, and as soon as he spotted George, the man tried to pull himself out of the chair, which seemed to take an age; he didn’t look in good shape. He finally hauled himself up and started waving his fist.

‘Get lost,’ he shouted. ‘Get lost, I tell you.’ His words flew through the window pane.

‘George, he doesn’t sound very friendly,’ I pointed out.

‘What do you mean?’ George waved a paw at the man, who shook his fist again. ‘We’re waving, look.’

‘He’s telling you to get lost, and his face is all red,’ I said carefully, glad that there was a window between us.

‘Oh no, he thinks “Get Lost” is my name,’ George said. ‘He loves playing our game with me, we’re very good friends.’

For a moment I was lost for words. I remembered back to how, when George got his first crush on the horrible Chanel, she would hiss at him and he took that as affection. Nothing I could say would persuade him otherwise. George did have a history of misinterpretation, and it looked as if this was a similar situation. I was still unsure how I would convince him that this man didn’t like him, when the man suddenly came to the window and opened it wide, nearly knocking us both flying. I sprang back off the sill but George somehow managed to jump inside the house. I didn’t realise it until too late.

‘Get lost,’ the man shouted.

I jumped back up on the windowsill. ‘Oh my,’ I exclaimed.

What would happen to George now? I felt fear welling up inside me. This man could really hurt my boy, and I had to stop him.

‘Oh, this is a new part of the game,’ I heard George say as he dodged the old man. I was about to go in – no matter what, I needed to protect my boy – but then I stopped as the old man went a funny colour and then fell over. He was going to fall on George.

‘Yowl,’ I shouted and George managed to jump out of the way before the man reached the ground. ‘Um, George, I don’t think it’s a game any more, he’s lying on the floor.’ I couldn’t see much as it was so dark inside, but the man didn’t appear to be moving and George sprang to his side.