Agatha H and the Voice of the Castle

Agatha stepped forward. “I am Agatha Heterodyne. I am the daughter of Bill and Lucrezia Heterodyne.”

Carson’s body rocked back in its seat. Across the helmet, lights flickered between red and green. “A girl?” His head snapped back to Wooster. “This is a trick.”

Wooster shook his head. “No.”

“Really. You’re the Heterodyne.”

“No.”

“You’re just acting like a miserable, cringing lackey.”

Wooster realized that he was, in fact, hunched back against a pillar—shying away from the malevolence he could feel radiating off of the old man. He straightened up. “No.”

Carson’s attention snapped back to Agatha and examined her minutely. Agatha felt a growing annoyance. The old man snapped his fingers. “You’re really a man, but you like to wear women’s clothing.”

“Enough,” Agatha roared, her voice spiraling into the harmonics of madness. “I am the Heterodyne! Now stop wasting time with this idiocy and tell me what I need to know!”

The entity inside Carson froze and then shuddered. “The Voice,” he whispered. Lenses on the helmet spun as he leaned in and again the lights danced. “I believe you are the Lady Lucrezia’s child. Heh heh—” A nasty grin twisted across his lower face. “But are you the Master’s? We shall see…”

Agatha grit her teeth. “You certainly shall!”

The entity in the old man’s body considered her again. “Hmm. The Heterodyne blood so rarely produces girls. The last one was—”

“Me,” Agatha stated defiantly.

The old man’s mouth twitched in amusement. “Perhaps. There are ways to tell, once you are inside.” He raised a finger dramatically, “Fail—and you—”

“Yes.” Agatha interrupted. “If I’m a fake, I die. I’ve been told.”

The entity sat back. “Well,” he said slowly, “maybe not. Or at least… not right away…”

Agatha blinked. “What?”

“You are a Spark, are you not?”

Agatha nodded slowly, “I am.”

The entity sighed. “Then, girl or not, false or not, I am prepared to make a bargain with you.”

Agatha stepped back. “A bargain? With you?”

She considered this.

Wooster cleared his throat. “It’s not unprecedented. It made a bargain with the Baron.”

The entity nodded. “See? And I did not even try to kill him.”

Wooster rubbed his jaw. “Did he ever try to enter?”

“I grow tired of these foolish questions,” the entity snapped. “There is an enemy inside the Castle. A false Heterodyne. She intends to destroy me. The very idea is preposterous, and yet—I fear that she may have actually have found a way.”

“Wait—” Krosp furrowed his brow. “If she wants to prove to everyone that she’s a Heterodyne, then shouldn’t she be trying to control you? I thought that was the test.”

“Indeed it is. But…heh…she has realized that control is not possible.”

“Ah,” Zeetha interrupted, “because she’s not really a Heterodyne.”

The entity paused. Agatha found herself suddenly convinced that there was something important that the…thing…wasn’t saying. Finally, Carson’s body shrugged.

“In part,” it admitted. “But mostly because I am severely damaged. Wulfenbach’s people have been trying to repair me for years. Overall they have failed, but still they have been useful. I have directed them where I could, and thus I am much more coherent than I once was.

“My central brain—the part of me that you are now speaking to—is isolated. My control circuits were severed in the explosion. It seems the power systems are largely untouched, so my secondary systems are running automatically—and they are stupid. Running at cross-purposes. Fragmented. You will get in and repair the break in the central control conduit.”

Agatha nodded. “Ah! So there’s a secret way into your inner keep?”

The entity paused, still grinning. “Hmmmm. I suppose that would have made things easier for you.”

Agatha sighed. “Wonderful. So I will be going in through the front door.”

“As all honest men should…”

Agatha ignored this. “Then tell me this: how do I evade these rogue defenses? I assume that there’s a key or a code word or something that will let me progress safely.”

The entity frowned. “Dear me, no. Foolishness like that is the sort of thing that can be exploited by enemies. I was constructed better than that.”

“Well, I’d better have something more helpful than just your good wishes or it won’t do either of us any good.”

The entity nodded. “I…concede the point. Very well. I will give you the map.”

Agatha brightened. “A map? A map that will show where I need to make repairs? Why, that’s perfect!”

The entity waved its hands. “It is not here. You must get to it. This will be…difficult.”

“Do you want me to help you or not?”

“This is the best I can do!” the entity roared. “Every instinct I possess is geared to keeping strangers out and away from the family secrets! If you are captured, I would rather be destroyed than allow them to fall into the hands of an imposter!”

“You’re not making it easy for the real Heterodyne, either.”

The entity leaned in. “A real Heterodyne will find a way. They always do. Get to the Masters’ Library. There you will find the map you need.”