Agatha H and the Voice of the Castle

“Tsk.” Von Pinn was, somehow, behind Agatha. The construct lifted Agatha into the air effortlessly, pinning her arms to her sides. Agatha could feel the pointed claws digging into her skin through their protective gloves. “I see I must also teach you manners,” Von Pinn said.

She studied Agatha’s face and a slight moue of puzzlement crossed her face. “You are…genuinely upset about the deaths of the constructs back on Castle Wulfenbach. I am surprised to find you so sentimental.”

Agatha thrashed uselessly. She was vaguely aware of the Castle’s voice, making conciliatory noises, but she was too enraged to listen. “Those constructs were my parents!”

An expression of regret stole across Von Pinn’s face. “You know as well as I that they were not. They were merely expendable caretakers. As, in many ways, am I.

“But I have waited over two hundred years to fulfill my purpose. My beloved King charged me with the solemn duty of protecting you.” Von Pinn gave Agatha a brief shake. “He was a romantic fool in many ways, but I can not—” Another shake. “Will not—disobey him.”

“I don’t want your protection,” Agatha snarled. “You stay away from me or I will find a way to kill you!”

Infuriatingly, Von Pinn smiled. “Ah, that is where it becomes… interesting.” She made a low sound in her throat. “Truly, I serve too many masters. My creator did not charge me with your protection. My creator’s last orders to me were to keep you ‘safe.’ He meant ‘safe for those around you.’ He knew what you were. He knew what would happen if you were not watched. I once thought I could render you harmless by killing you, and still ‘protect’ you by guarding your tomb…”

Agatha was still furious. Her struggles had done nothing. All she could do was listen as Von Pinn continued.

“Sadly, due to the interference of my last mistress—may her bones burn green—I am instead compelled to defend your unworthy life with my own.”

Agatha’s eyes narrowed. Her fingers found the trigger of the death ray that she still clutched in one hand. She couldn’t see it, held as she was. “Really.” She said. “You’re prepared to die to protect me.”

“Whether I want to or not,” Von Pinn said.

Agatha grinned nastily down at her. “Fine. Then now’s your chance.” As the Castle howled in protest, she pulled the trigger on the death ray, and a large circle of floor boiled away beneath Von Pinn’s feet.

“Truly you are your mother’s child,” Von Pinn shrieked as she flung Agatha away from her. Her voice grew fainter as she tumbled away into the depths of Castle Heterodyne, screaming with rage.

Agatha hit the floor in an ungraceful roll, coming to a painful stop against one of the stone lab benches. Professor Tiktoffen and Snaug were at her side instantly, helping her to her feet. “Are…are you all right, my lady?”

Agatha rubbed her left shoulder as she peered into the hole that she had created. Neither Von Pinn nor the bottom of the shaft could be seen. The blast had cut a perfect hole through floor after floor of the Castle below them. Even as Agatha watched, the final bit of illumination provided by the molten edges of burnt stone faded back into darkness.

“That was hardly necessary, my lady,” the Castle complained. “I can assure you that Mistress Von Pinn poses you no threat.”

Agatha glanced back at the hole she had made. No wonder the Castle was upset. “Is—is she still alive?”

The Castle took a moment to answer. “An interesting question. I do not know.”

“How deep does this thing go?”

“Deeper than The Great Movement Chamber, which is as far down as I know. Also, you have now damaged several of my systems. By some miracle, you hit nothing essential, but I am still fond of them.”

Agatha nodded. “Ah. I’m sorry about that. No more death ray then.”

“Thank you,” said the Castle.

“It’s nearly out of power anyway,” she told it.

“Such a shame.”

Agatha turned to Tiktoffen. “And now, we are getting out of here before anybody else shows up.”

Tiktoffen nodded enthusiastically. “I am completely in agreement with that plan.”

Agatha turned toward Gil. She had rather expected him to say something about Von Pinn, or at least, well, would it kill him to compliment a girl’s death ray? But she saw now that he hadn’t been paying attention to anything that had been going on. In fact, he was still flat on his back.

“What’s wrong?” she asked Zola. “That wound doesn’t look bad enough to keep him off his feet.

“He won’t get up,” Zola said defensively, “and I can’t carry him.”

Agatha took a closer look and bit her lip. Zola had bandaged the wound expertly. Gil’s skin was flushed and he was sweating. His breathing was deep but quicker than if he was simply resting.

“Well he can’t stay here, especially if there’s something weird wrong with him.” He may not be much use like this, but at least I’ll have both sick idiots in one place, she thought.