Agatha H and the Voice of the Castle

Wooster quickly dropped a few coins on the table while Zeetha cheerfully stuffed the rest of her quiche in her mouth and they all rose to follow.

“What’s happening?” Wooster asked.

Krosp continued to pull Agatha along. “You know how everyone in town is buzzing about how the Heterodyne heir is coming?”

“Of course,” Agatha muttered. “We—”

Krosp jerked her around a final corner. “She’s here!”

And indeed she was.

It was one of the larger squares in the town. In the center was the famous cast iron statue of the Heterodyne Boys—jaunty grins on their faces, giving their famous “thumbs up” salute.

The square was packed with people—townspeople and tourists alike—with more pouring in every second. Floating directly overhead was a small airship, newly minted, if the gleam still on its engines was any indication. It was astonishing both for the large gold trilobites emblazoned upon the sides of its gasbag, and the fact that said gasbag was a shockingly vivid pink.

The girl standing proudly upon the statue’s pedestal—with the Boys towering behind her beaming down approvingly—was almost as pink herself.

Her outfit was a splendid confection straight from the overly-fussy fashion houses of Vienna, with a full skirt, puff sleeves, and a high collar, all framing a round, rosy face. Golden trilobites were scattered about her outfit, even nestled in her shimmering blonde hair.

Her voice, which was obviously being boosted by some unseen mechanism, was high, clear, and rang with noble sincerity.

“Greetings, people of Mechanicsburg! I am the Lady Zola Heterodyne—” There was a murmur of surprise from the crowd at this, which quickly died down. “—daughter of William Heterodyne! At long last, I have returned to my home!”

This got a burst of applause—discreetly led by the ring of men that Agatha now noticed surrounding the statue’s base. They were all of a single mold: tall, weirdly slim, dressed in dark frock coats and striped shirts, with matching stovepipe hats nearly as tall and narrow as themselves. Their eyes were covered with black smoked goggles. Each man held a different, uniquely odd machine—each machine clearly the work of a Spark.

“I have long been in hiding, for there are many who have vowed to destroy me!” This provoked another burst of noise from the crowd. “But now, the Baron lies injured! Powerless! He can no longer defend the Empire, let alone my beloved Mechanicsburg!”

Silence washed over the square now. This was dangerous talk. “I fear that his incapacity will lead to war that will threaten this place—this beloved town of my ancestors! I have a duty to you, my people! There will be danger, but I will face it, for I must protect my city!”

She squared her shoulders and looked adorably resolute. “Thus, despite the risk to my person, I return to claim my own—and I begin with Castle Heterodyne! Come along and bear witness, for a new era begins!” And with that she unhesitatingly leapt from the base of the statue, provoking a gasp from the crowd which turned into cheers as she was effortlessly caught by two of the tall men awaiting her below.

The girl took her place at the head of a procession, surrounded by a phalanx of her tall dark men—the still-growing crowd falling in behind her. With a roar, they swept out of the square and followed her towards the castle gates.

Zeetha turned and saw Agatha staring, her mouth agape. She reached over and pushed Agatha’s mouth closed with a delicately outstretched finger. “Do try to face the new era with some dignity,” she advised.

Soon, enough of the crowd had passed that Agatha and her friends could join the tail end, and they turned the corner in time to see the girl in pink gracefully lifted onto the rail of the little stone bridge by two of her retainers.

She pointed dramatically at the castle and the crowd cheered.

“Will you look at her?” Agatha was slowly shifting from shock to outrage. “I cannot believe this! She’s pretending to be me!”

Krosp nodded and glanced up at the pink dirigible, which was slowly drifting along in the direction of the castle. “Yes, this is going to be trouble.”

The girl and her coterie had reached the castle side of the bridge. Even though Agatha was looking for it, it was still startling when, with a puff of displaced air and a small cloud of dust, the members of the Black Squad materialized around the girl and her party.

Wooster nodded in satisfaction. “And that should take care of that.”

The captain looked a lot more alert this time. His squad held their weapons at the “ready” position. “Halt.”

The girl did so with a smile. Without taking her eyes off of the captain, she inquired, “Herr Vikel?”

One of the dark retainers nodded and activated the device in his hands. Instantly the members of the Black Squad shrieked and began to unnaturally twist and bend before they disappeared. Their weapons clattered to the ground.

The pink girl took a deep breath and then casually waved a hand. “Onward!”

Wooster let out a low whistle. “Interesting.”