Agatha H and the Voice of the Castle

Zola looked smug. “You know how to boil a frog, don’t you? You do it slowly. I’ll get settled in as the Heterodyne. Surely there will be nothing wrong with that? Just one of those ‘internal rule’ things that the Baron can’t be bothered with. Even better, I’m not a Spark! I’ll be a safely boring Heterodyne. I’ll busy myself with civic improvements, trade negotiations—my Mechanicsburg will just be good little client state of the Empire.

“A year or so from now, the Storm King’s heir will be ‘discovered’ by a charming old man in Wurms whose hobby is heraldry. He doesn’t know it yet, but he’s about to make an amazing discovery in a used book shop our people run. The College of Heralds will reluctantly agree with his analysis, but the heir-apparent will modestly refuse to accept the crown.

“That will change when Mechanicsburg is attacked by an army of clanks while he is, coincidently, here visiting a wounded friend in the Great Hospital. He will send out a call for help that will be answered by surrounding kingdoms, and he will defeat the invaders. I will ask to meet him, of course, and it’ll be love at first sight!”

She fluttered her eyelashes at Gilgamesh and sighed. “It’ll be so perfectly romantic that we will capture the hearts of all of Europa. Then we will settle down and rule this little town so well that we will be the envy of the Empire and other kingdoms will beg us to move on to bigger things, which we will reluctantly do, and within ten years—sooner if the Wulfenbachs do something foolish—we will have all the Empire and no one has to die at all.”

Gil considered this. He had to admit that he had never really looked forward to being handed the reins of the Empire, but…

He cleared his throat. “Except for young Wulfenbach, of course.”

Zola rolled her eyes, “Well of course. We’re not stupid.”

Gil sighed with regret, “Yes, I suppose that was to be expected.”

Zola frowned. “Oh please, who will even care?”

At that moment there was a strangled scream from Professor Tiktoffen. “Everyone,” he shouted as he ran towards the door. “Out of this room!”

But as he approached the doorway, a massive steel shutter slammed down. “Welcome.” The voice was barely a whisper. “Repairs…here.”

Tiktoffen slumped to the floor. “We’re doomed,” he whimpered. “We’re all going to die.”

Zola strode over to him and kicked him in the leg. “What is happening, Professor?”

Tiktoffen didn’t even flinch when her foot connected. “We’ve been pressganged,” he said leadenly. “I didn’t know where we were. The door we just came through, it’s never led here before.” He gestured towards the shadows and the others realized that the lumps they’d been stepping around were actually desiccated corpses.

“This is one of those rooms where things are too damaged, but the systems in charge won’t accept ‘no’ for an answer. Anyone who comes here isn’t allowed to leave.”

Gil looked at the machinery that lined one of the walls. “Then we’ll just have to fix it.”

Tiktoffen snorted. “This isn’t a broken rudder, young man. This needs a stronger Spark than we’ve ever had in here.”

Gil smiled. “I like a challenge.”

Agatha jerked awake as something sharp poked into her fundament. She was sprawled face down on a workbench. Someone had tossed a musty canvas sheet over her and there was a brisk breeze blowing. The sharp object was revealed as a toasting fork and it was being wielded by Moloch, who was cowering behind a makeshift barricade of assorted sheet metal. “Wake up,” he growled. “C’mon, I thought you were in a hurry. It’s getting light out.”

This got Agatha moving. “It’s what? How could you let me sleep?” It had been nearing midnight as she had put the finishing touches on. She glanced down and found herself clutching a cobbled together little device of some complexity.

From behind his barrier, Moloch flinched. “You said you weren’t going out after Wulfenbach without some kind of defense and then you built a death ray. You conked out on the table, and then, every time I tried to wake you up, you pointed it at me!”

Agatha flushed. Her foster mother, Lilith, had always complained that it took heavy machinery to hoist Agatha from her bed on cold mornings. Luckily, her foster father was a mechanic. But threatening someone? That sounded a bit over-dramatic.

“I threatened you with this?”

“You totally did.”

Agatha looked at it again. “Well I’m sorry this little thing worried you.” At that moment, a strong gust of cold air blew hair into her face. Agatha blinked and turned in surprise. The source was a rather large hole that had apparently been melted through the castle wall. A little way off, she saw another hole through one of the castle towers. She squinted and thought she could just make out a circular chunk taken out of one of the looming mountains that encircled the town.

“…I did that?”

“You totally did!”

Agatha shivered and carefully put the little device down on a table. “What about Tarvek?” She tried to keep her voice neutral but Moloch caught her mood.