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“Here goes what?” asked Dooley, glancing around to see what other slimy creatures would come crawling out from the undergrowth.

“It’s an expression, Dooley,” I said as I stifled a yawn. “It means he’s going to do something.”

“Do what?”

“I don’t know. Something.” Frankly I was feeling a little sleepy right around then. I guess it was because of the adrenaline dissipating from my system. That and being chased around the house by Grace had sapped my strength. So whatever wisdom the snail was intent on imparting, I scarcely paid attention, and even as I dozed off, I was conscious of strange words being spoken by the snail.

“Blue moon,” he said. Or words to that effect.

If only I’d paid closer attention, and hadn’t allowed my natural vigilance to waver at that crucial moment, it might have saved me a whole lot of trouble!

CHAPTER 2

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Tex had been pottering around in his backyard, weeding the flowerbeds and thinking up ways and means of beautifying his modest little patch of paradise, when his thoughts of floral delight were rudely interrupted by his neighbor Ted, who desired speech.

“Say, Tex,” said Ted, his head popping up over the hedge that served as a natural barrier between both gardens. “I’ve been thinking.”

“Well, that’s a first,” Tex muttered under his breath, as he reluctantly downed tools. It wasn’t that he disliked his neighbor, but it couldn’t be said he liked him a great deal either. There had always existed a certain rivalry between both men, especially when it came to the fate of their respective backyards. Tex had long been a big proponent of the common garden gnome as a way of lending that littleje-ne-sais-quoi to his property, and Ted had more or less brazenly copied the idea. The result was a sort of garden gnome race between the two homeowners.

“I’ve been thinking we should pool our resources and hire a professional landscaper,” said Ted, as he rubbed his nose then sneezed.

Tex frowned at his neighbor.“What are you talking about? What landscaper?”

He’d gotten up from his position on the foam pad he used to protect his knees and approached the hedge. At one point they’d agreed to a fence to mark the official boundary, but recently had decided that a hedge was much nicer, and also provided a way for their respective pets to come and go as they pleased. Ted and his wife Marcie owned a sheepdog, Rufus, who, contrary to popular belief, wasn’t an enemy to the Poole cat contingent but a friend, and so as Ted and Tex chatted across the hedge, Tex saw that Harriet and Brutus scooted underneath, and crossed into Ted’s backyard to shoot thebreeze with the man’s canine friend.

“Look, I know you take great pride in your backyard, Tex,” said Ted. “And you know I do, too. But at the end of the day, we’re hardly pros, are we? And you have to admit it takes a lot of time and effort to make these gardens shine. So I was thinking that maybe if we bring in a landscaper, and then pay a gardener to come in once a week, or once every two weeks, we could save ourselves a lot of trouble, and at the same time have the kind of backyards we can really be proud of.”

“Mh,” said Tex as he gave this suggestion some thought. The idea had merit. Though he was reluctant to admit it to his neighbor, of course. So instead he said, “Professional landscapers are expensive, Ted. Even if we pooled our resources.”

“Oh, I’m sure between the two of us, it’s a warranted expenditure,” said Ted. With a wink, he added, “I might even be able to turn it into a tax deduction.”

Ted was an accountant, so creating tax breaks or write-offs was what he did.

“I’d have to discuss it with Marge,” said Tex, wavering. He enjoyed working in his backyard, but lately he’d started feeling the strain, especially when spring was in the land, of spending every available moment having to fight the good fight against the pesky weeds attacking his flowerbeds. Even the modest patch of lettuce and radish he’d planted at Marge’s instigation needed constant vigilance to save them from a veritable army of pests trying to get at them before Tex could.

“Look, I know you need some time to think about it,” said Ted, “but give it some serious thought, yeah? I think you’ll find it will make both our lives a lot easier. And hey, paying a gardener doesn’t mean we can’t still do a little bit of gardening ourselves. Only difference is that we’ll have fun doing it, and not see it as a chore we can’t get out of.” He shrugged. “At least that’s how I feel. You?”

Tex slowly nodded.“Lately it’s all becoming a little too much,” he admitted. “Especially those snails that keep eating everything I plant.”

“Yeah, same here,” said Ted. “And you should see what they’re doing to my gnomes. Every morning those little buddies are full of slimy trails. Really yucky.”

It was a problem the good doctor had been contending with himself, and he could sympathize.

“I just hope this landscaper of yours goes easy on the toxic products.”