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As she sat back, she thought about the kind of stunt she would have to pull to crank up her popularity in the flogging space. So far she’d only flogged sporadically. Once every couple of weeks she would upload a video, mostly showcasing herself explaining what she’d been up to as the executive assistant to her granddaughter, Hampton Cove’s very own super sleuth, or her son, Hampton Cove’s chief of police. Or even playing scrabble behind the reception desk at Tex’s office or helping her daughter set up the library for one of her book club events. It was becoming clear to her that this kind of stuff didn’t cut it. If she was going to make a splash in the flogging community she would have to switch things up. Flog some more and maybe stop filming herself and film some of the stuff people really wanted to see. And what did people want to see? Blood and gore. And lots and lots of drama. Tragedy.

People naturally were rubberneckers. When there was a car crash, long lines would form and people would take out their phones to film the whole thing. Why else did shows likeGame of Thrones attract such a massive following? Blood and gore and the prospect of people suffering horrific deaths at every turn.

“People are sadists,” she said as she absentmindedly caressed Harriet.

The white Persian had been spending all of her time at the house, which didn’t surprise Gran. Usually she was over at Odelia’s a lot, but ever since her granddaughter had taken in three kittens, Harriet had taken refuge at Tex and Marge and Vesta’s.

“Tell me about it,” said Harriet. “Doesn’t Odelia realize how much damage those kittens are causing? Not to mention the emotional distress.”

“Mh,” said Gran, not really paying the grumpy cat a lot of attention. “I think I need to showcase some of the more gory aspects of this detective business,” she said. “Maybe then people will finally tune in and give me the attention I deserve.”

“And then there’s Max and Dooley, who have totally given up the fight. Almost as if they like kittens. Nobody likes kittens, unless they’re human.”

“Maybe I could go over to the coroner’s office and get a couple of shots of the dead girl,” said Gran, a grim set to her face. “And if I could only convince that bonehead son of mine to send me some grisly pictures of the crime scene my flogging career would finally take off like a rocket.” With these words, she popped another little white pill into her mouth.

Almost immediately she felt the boost. These vitamins she’d purchased off a street vendor were a real lifesaver. Ever since she’d started taking them, she had so much energy she felt like she could take over the world.

“Can’t you talk Odelia into giving up those three menaces, Gran?”

“Mh?” asked Gran. “What’s that, toots?”

“The kittens,” said Harriet with an expressive eyeroll. “We need to get rid of the kittens.”

Gran frowned. She wasn’t following. “Get rid of the kittens? Why would you want to get rid of the kittens? They’re the cutest thing since you and Max and Dooley were kittens yourselves.”

“Oh, Gran,” said Harriet. “I was never a kitten. I came into this world fully formed.”

“Honey, you were most definitely a kitten once. And if I’m totally honest, you were even cuter than those three, but also a lot more annoying.”

Harriet stared at her, aghast.“Impossible. I was never annoying.”

“All kittens are annoying, especially when they dig up your geraniums and pee all over your tomato plants. But they’re so cute you forgive them for everything.”

Harriet placed her head on her front paws.“Still. We need to get rid of these three.”

Gran shook her head.“Harriet, honey. Sometimes you scare me.”

But then she forgot all about her cat’s petty gripes and focused on the task at hand: shooting the kind of footage people were dying to watch. And how she was going to accomplish that particular feat. As she thought, she popped another pill into her mouth.

She giggled when she felt the kick.

Boy, oh, boy. If only she’d discovered these vitamins sooner, she could have been president of the country. Better yet, she could have ruled the world. Or even the universe!

Chapter 18

The next morning, bright and early, Odelia was up even before me and Dooley. Even Chase was up, and he was usually the slower riser.

“Weird,” said Dooley, lifting his weary head. “When the humans start waking up before we do, you know there’s something wrong, Max.”

“I hear you, Dooley,” I said, yawning. And that’s when I saw them: the three kittens were lying between me and Dooley. Bim had her teeth clamped down on my tail and was gently chewing it, Bam was lying on his back, his paws dangling in the air, and Bom was resting his head on Dooley’s hindquarters.

We both stared at the threesome for a moment, then Dooley said softly,“They’re actually pretty cute when they’re asleep.”

“The key word being ‘asleep,’” I grunted.

“Oh, don’t be such a curmudgeon, Max,” said Odelia, who was rooting around in her sock drawer.

“I’m not. They’re annoying is what they are.”