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Brutus looked like he was about to murder Dooley, and I had the distinct impression his doubts about his inner male or female had suddenly taken a backseat—and no shrinks had been harmed in the process!

“I think it’s a rotten thing to do, Odelia,” Brutus growled into the phone. “And I’m disappointed, you hear me? Disappointed!”

“But, Brutus,” said Dooley. “This is a good thing!”

“Yes, Brutus,” Odelia said. “Look on the bright—”

“Very disappointed!” he screamed, and hit the Disconnect button.

“Finally,” Gran muttered, and promptly dozed off, phone still in her hand.

“My body—my choice,” Brutus repeated, as if it were his new mantra.

“So we’re all in the same boat,” said Harriet. “All of us have been badly betrayed by our masters.” Her face took on a mutinous expression. “I suggest we teach them a lesson. I suggest we elope. Right now!”

“Elope!” said Dooley. “But…”

“They had a duty of care, Dooley—and they blew it! They removed a vital part of our anatomy without our permission. There are laws against that kind of thing. In fact I’m pretty sure Odelia and the others can be arrested for this.”

“Arrested?” asked Dooley, taken aback.

She ticked the items off on her claws.“Cat mutilation. Violation of our immutable rights under the Universal Declaration of Feline Rights. Gross negligence… Do I really have to go on?”

“I doubt whether Uncle Alec will arrest his niece, his sister and his mother for cat mutilation,” I said.

“So we elope!” said Harriet. “We teach them a lesson they won’t forget!”

“And what lesson would that be?”

“That they should think twice before sending us to Vena the Butcher!”

“I doubt Odelia will get the message,” I said. “She’s so busy playing croque-monsieur with Chase that she won’t even know we’re gone.”

“But the others will. Marge, Gran…”

We looked at Gran, who was sleeping with her mouth open, snoring softly.

“I don’t think Gran is going to miss us terribly,” said Dooley softly.

“Oh, for Pete’s sake,” I said. “I agree they should never have done this to us, but if we elope now we’ll only be punishing ourselves. Just think—no soft couch to sleep on, no food, fresh water, litter box…”

Harriet thought for a moment, then that mutinous look was back.“Fine. If you won’t do it, I will. As of this moment, I’m eloping, and if you have even an inch of self-respect left in your snipped bodies, you’ll follow my lead.”

And then she set off. Brutus, Dooley and I shared a look.“I’m going with her,” said Brutus. “I mean, that’s my woman. I have to stand by her. For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until—”

“Oh, for crying out loud, Brutus,” I said. “You’re not married, man.”

“See you, guys,” he said. And off he went, standing by his woman.

We stared after them, and soon we heard the pet flap flap.

I turned to Dooley.“So how about it, buddy? Are we eloping or not?”

He darted a glance at his favorite spot at the foot of Gran’s bed. It was nice and soft and extremely inviting. Finally he said, “Ok, fine. Let’s elope. But not for too long, all right? I kinda like our humans—even if they did remove a part of our anatomy that they probably shouldn’t have without our permission.”

“Your objections are duly noted,” I said, and then we eloped—reluctantly.

Chapter 11

The next morning, bright and early, Odelia awoke to music streaming from hidden speakers. At first she thought she was in her own bed at home, and her first instinct was to feel for the trusty shape of Max sleeping at her feet. Max would usually, and sometimes even before she was fully awake, crawl up to her armpit, bury his nose under her arm, and purr up a storm. He’d been doing this ever since he was a kitten and still performed this early morning ritual without fault. Sometimes he exchanged her armpit for her elbow or her neck but he always had to have this morning cuddle. He would knead the blanket, or sometimes Chase’s arm if it was closer, not bothering to retract his claws, which would sometimes elicit a few choice curse words from Chase.

And then, when he had enough, he would suddenly get up and scoot off as fast as he could. It was a weird but adorable little ritual and she missed it now.

Next to her, Chase stirred, so she put his head under her armpit. He got the idea, and was soon purring himself. They both laughed, and listened to the music for a moment.

“Is that… Barbra Streisand?” asked Chase, his voice muffled.

‘Memory, all alone in the moonlight,’ Barbra wailed from the speakers.

“I think it is,” said Odelia, stretching luxuriously, then throwing back the comforter and swinging her feet to the floor. She bunched up her toes and kneaded the high-pile carpet for a moment. “Nice,” she murmured.

“You don’t say,” said Chase, who was doing the same thing on his side of the bed. “So what was all that about your grandmother wanting to know if Brutus was neutered?” he asked. “Did that really happen or was I dreaming?”

“Oh, you know Gran. She’s a little eccentric sometimes.”

“More like completely stark-raving mad,” he grunted.