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“I’m secretly hoping for one of the four Chrises,” she said, a little breathless now after all that dancing. “Or maybe a cocktail of all four would be nice. Though to be absolutely honest with you, I’d much rather do this the good old-fashioned way, but Doctor Clam claims that’s not practical. And since he’s the expert, I’m going to follow his advice.”

A window had opened on the second floor of the house, and Tex’s head came poking out. “Vesta, what the hell are you doing down there?” he asked in slightly offended tone. All this dancing and yapping apparently was keeping him up.

“Put in your earplugs and shut up,” she snapped. “Can’t you see I’m in the middle of something?”

“In the middle of what?”

“I’m doing a fertility dance, to help me get ready for the big day.”

“Fertility dance?” He looked just as dumbfounded as we did.

“It’s a scientific procedure that’s beyond your pay grade, Tex. Now leave me alone.”

Shaking his head, Tex’s head retracted and the window closed again.

Next door, Rufus, Marcie and Ted Trapper’s sheepdog, had been alerted by the back-and-forth, and now peered over the fence. When he saw Gran perform her ancient Amazonian ritual, he tilted up his head and started howling like a timber wolf.

“Hey, it’s working,” said Gran. “That old dog is getting good and horny already.”

Beyond Odelia’s backyard, another dog had woken up: Fifi, Kurt Mayfield’s Yorkshire Terrier, had slipped under the fence, and had now joined us. And as Rufus’s howls intensified, the little Yorkie also threw her head back and joined the chorus. Soon all the dogs in the neighborhood had started howling, and since we didn’t have much else to do, the four of us decided to raise our voices in song, too. We had just come from a cat choir rehearsal, so we were definitely in the mood for some more singing.

Windows were opened left and right now, and loud cursing filled the night air.

When Odelia’s head appeared, looking sleepy, she asked, “What are you guys doing?”

“We’re providing backing vocals for the dogs,” I explained.

Only now did she catch sight of her grandmother, who was still doing her weird ritualistic dance, as envisioned by her fertility guru, and her jaw dropped a few inches.

“Oh, hell,” finally Gran said when Tex returned, this time joined by Marge, and also Chase was staring at her, and Marcie and Ted Trapper, and of course Kurt Mayfield. Clearly she didn’t enjoy an audience, for she shouted, “Fine! Tomorrow night I’ll do it in the park, where no one will bother me!” And with these words, she hiked up her nightgown and returned indoors.

“What was that?” asked Ted from next door.

“I have no idea,” said Marge.

“It’s a fertility dance,” said Tex. “She wants to become pregnant and this is her way of getting ready for the big day.”

“Pregnant? But isn’t your mother like a hundred years old or something?” asked Marcie.

“Seventy-five, and she hired a fertility expert,” said Marge.

“She’s nuts,” was Kurt’s determination. “Can we finally go back to sleep now?”

“I think it’s cute,” said Odelia.

Two more heads had come poking out. They belonged to Libby and Jonah, the latter hoisting his camera on his shoulder. I don’t think I’d ever seen him without his camera, and I was starting to believe the thing was attached to his body somehow.

“So what did we miss?” asked Libby with a big yawn.

“Some old lady was doing a fertility dance,” said Kurt. “It looked totally ridiculous.”

“I thought it looked cute,” Odelia repeated.

“So where is she?” asked Jonah, swinging his camera here and there.

“She went in,” said Marcie. “I think she didn’t care for all the attention.”

“Too bad,” said Libby. “So can you ask her to come out again? We need to get this on tape.”

“You ask her,” said Tex. “I don’t have a death wish.”

“Is she really going to have a baby?” asked Marcie. “I thought that was physically impossible?”

“Nothing is physically impossible in this day and age,” said Marge. “If they can put a man on the moon, or even Mars, they can probably get my mother pregnant again.”

“Hey, that’s great news, Marge,” said Marcie. “You’re going to have a little brother or sister soon.”

But Marge didn’t look all that happy with the impending family expansion. Shaking her head, she disappeared from view.

“I have the impression your wife isn’t all that happy about this, Tex,” said Ted.

“You can say that again,” said Tex, but refrained from adding any more comment. It was, after all, a very delicate matter.

Soon all humans had returned indoors, and the only ones still out and about were the felines and canines of Hampton Cove.

It’s hard for a dog to stop howling once he’s gotten started, and so for a long time after the lights had gone out and the houses had turned dark, they just kept on howling.

“They should probably start a dog choir,” said Harriet after a while. “They’re pretty good.”

“I think cat choir is enough for one town,” said Brutus. “Besides, who wants to listen to dogs yowling night after night? Not me.”

“Not me, either, “I agreed.