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“They went for a swim? Is that typical zombie behavior?” he asked.

“I’m not sure,” I admitted. “I don’t really know all that much about zombies.”

“Me neither. They don’t typically feature on the Discovery Channel.”

The Discovery Channel has become Dooley’s station of choice lately. He used to watch a lot of the Hallmark Channel, but apparently Marge has switched allegiances, and now watches a lot of nature documentaries instead. Or maybe it was Tex.

“At least they didn’t harm Odelia,” I said. “They came for her, you know, and tried to grab her, but she was too quick. And then when Chase and Uncle Alec sprang from the bushes, they ran like the wind.”

“I didn’t even know zombies could run,” he intimated.

We listened as Harriet sang a nice aria from some opera only she was aware of, and were joined by Shanille.“Is it true what I’ve heard about your uncle Alec behaving like a savage beast yesterday?” she asked.

“No, none of that is true,” I assured her.

“It was the zombies,” said Dooley helpfully. “It’s all their fault. But now they’ve gone for a swim and we don’t know when they’ll be back.”

“Okay,” said Shanille after a pregnant pause. “So I overheard Father Reilly discuss Uncle Alec with some of his parishioners, and he’s promised them to stage an intervention. He assured them that sex addiction is just like any other addiction, and he’s convinced that if Alec joins the twelve-step program he can be healed. He’ll also need to pray a lot, and he’s going to invite him to come to church every day so they can pray together. He said Alec’s soul can still be saved, but he will have to work, and work hard.”

“I’m not sure Uncle Alec is going to like that,” I said. “He’s not a big churchgoer, I don’t think.”

“Well, he better start going now, or else he’ll get kicked out of Hampton Cove. People are talking about going over to his house and bodily grabbing him and banishing him from their town, telling him never to come back. Father Reilly managed to calm them down, but if he doesn’t comply he willget banished. And I don’t think he’ll like that.”

“No, in that case I think he’ll definitely prefer the prayer thing.”

Harriet was still singing her aria, and suddenly broke off and yelled,“Will you two stop yapping and pay attention to me for a second! Show some respect to your diva!”

So we shut up and paid attention.

She was right, of course. You ignore a diva at your peril.

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Alec arrived home after his stakeout, and was feeling pretty good. After all, with the footage of the zombies that this Jonah fellow had shot, and Pamela’s statement, no one in their right mind could still claim he was a menace to society and women walking the streets alone at night, with or without dogs named Boomer.

And then he saw the car sitting in his driveway, a black-clad man leaning against it.

For a moment, he thought it was Chase, having come over for a quick chat before calling it a night. But then he saw that it was none other than Father Reilly, of all people.

What the…

He parked his truck right behind the priest’s sedan and got out.

“Father Reilly? What brings you out here in the middle of the night?”

The priest smiled a beatific smile. “Alec. Just the man I wanted to see.” He then let his eyes drop to the Santa costume the Chief was still wearing. “Fancy dress party?”

“No, a stakeout,” he said. “We caught the zombies on film, father, so this whole ordeal of mine will soon be over.”

“About that, Alec,” said the priest, placing a hand on the Chief’s shoulder. “I wanted to have a word with you. Some concerns have been raised about your recent behavior, and I would very much like to address them.”

“Now? It’s two o’clock in the morning, father.”

“He who watches over us never slumbers or sleeps and neither does His servant,” said the priest in kindly tones. “My flock asked me to convey an urgent message to you and I feel this cannot wait until the morrow. They are concerned, Alec. Very concerned.”

“Well, they don’t need to be concerned, father. Like I said, we got the zombies on film, and—”

“Myes. The thing is, there are a lot of women feeling very scared right now, and a lot of husbands, fathers, brothers and sons feeling very angry. In fact it isn’t an exaggeration to say that you are not a popular man at this moment. People want you to leave town, Alec,” he said sternly when Alec started sputtering something. “They want you gone. They want to organize what is commonly termed a mob and expel you from their town. I managed to convince them to give you one more chance—one last chance. And I hope you will grasp this chance with both hands, Alec,” he added as he grasped Alec’s hands and squeezed them tightly. “Do you see now why this couldn’t wait until the morning?”

He felt a little deflated.“Um… they want to kick me out of town? But why?”