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By the time I opened my eyes again, all book club members had mercifully dispersed, and Marge and Odelia were gathering cups and saucers and carrying them into the kitchen. A strange sound reached my ears, and when I looked over, I saw that Harriet was sitting nearby, hovering over a tablet computer and deftly swiping it with her paw pads. The sound that had roused me from my nice nap was Harriet quietly but with rising intensity saying,ôNo, no, no, no, no! How is this possible!ö

I gave her a lazy look.ôWhatÆs wrong?ö

ôOh, itÆs this new dating app,ö the pretty white Persian said. ôI canÆt make heads nor tails of the thing.ö

Dooley had to laugh at this.ôHeads nor tails,ö he said. ôFunny.ö When Harriet shot him a withering glance, he weekly added, ôTails. Because you have a tail?ö

ôOh, Dooley,ö Harriet grumbled, then frowned some more at her tablet.

Brutus, whoÆd wandered into the kitchen, looking for a bite to eat, now returned. ôStay out of the kitchen,ö he said. ôIt never ceases to amaze me how people who love books can make such a mess. Marge and Odelia have been doing the dishes for what feels like hours.ö

ôItÆs because Marge likes to show off by taking out her finest China,ö I explained. ôAnd since she canÆt put them in the dishwasher they all have to be washed by hand. And with special detergent that doesnÆt cause any damage. And all hand-dried very carefully and replaced in the cupboard, lest they might chip.ö

Brutus had hopped up onto the couch next to his mate and now frowned at the tablet.ôWhat is this?ö he asked.

ôNothing special, sweetie,ö said Harriet. ôJust some app IÆm trying out.ö

ôIs thatà Pettr?ö asked Brutus, sounding aghast.

ôWhatÆs Pettr?ö I asked.

ôItÆs like Tinder for pets,ö Brutus explained. ôYou swipe right when you have a match.ö He now took a closer look at the app his lady love was surfing on. ôItis Pettr. Why are you on Pettr?ö he demanded.

ôI was just curious, sugar babe,ö said Harriet. ôShanille told me about it, and so I wanted to take a look. Just to know what all the fuss was about.ö

ôShanille is on Pettr?ö asked Brutus.

ôYeah, she is.ö

ôWhat is a dating app, Max?ö asked Dooley.

ôItÆs an app where people looking for a partner find each other,ö I said.

ôHow does it work, exactly?ö

ôWell, you create a profile on the site or the app, with a picture that was taken twenty years ago, then you write something about yourself, usually painting yourself in a more favorable light, and then you hope that someone who comes across your profile likes it enough to swipe right and give you a try. And if you like the person who swiped right, you can also swipe right and you arrange to meet.ö

ôSo you donÆt look like you, and write stuff that isnÆt really you, and the other person does the same?ö said Dooley, catching on quickly.

ôThatÆs about the gist of it,ö I agreed.

ôBut wonÆt the other person notice that you lied?ö

ôOf course they will, but you hope that social pressure will prevent them from walking out on you in the middle of a busy restaurant, and that through the sheer magnetism of your personality youÆll be able to make them forget youÆre twenty years older and thirty pounds heavier, and that youÆre not as fascinating as you made out to be in your profile.ö

ôSounds like a recipe for disaster,ö was my friendÆs estimation.

ôAnd yet sometimes it seems to works,ö I said.

ôAnd sometimes it doesnÆt,ö said Harriet, and gave us all a sad look. ôI accidentally swiped right when I should have swiped left. So now what?ö

ôNow youÆre going on a date,ö I said cheerfully.

ôWhat?!ö Brutus cried. ôNo way!ö

ôIÆm sorry, sunshine,ö said Harriet. ôI got confused.ö

ôBetween left and right?!ö he asked, incredulous.

ôI mix up left and right all the time,ö said Dooley.

ôSo who did you match with?ö asked Brutus. Then, as he took a closer look, he gasped in shock. ôNo way!ö

ôWho is it?ö I asked, my curiosity aroused in spite of myself. But all I got were blank looks from both Harriet and Brutus.

ôItÆll be fine,ö said Brutus. ôYou simply stand him up, thatÆs all.ö

ôItÆs not going to be good for my rating,ö Harriet said.

ôWho cares about your rating!ö He eyed her suspiciously. ôUnless you want to keep on dating?ö

ôOf course not, snuggle bear! Like I said, I was just taking a look.ö

ôThatÆs fine, then,ö said Brutus, though he didnÆt seem entirely convinced. Then again, if I found my girlfriend creating a profile on a dating site, I wouldnÆt be convinced of her innocence in the matter either.

ôIs Pettr the same site our humans were talking about earlier?ö asked Dooley.

ôNo, that was the human version. ItÆs called Valina Fawn,ö I said. ôNamed after the siteÆs founder and president Valina Fawn.ö

ôItÆs so interesting to have a real celebrity in our midst,ö said Dooley now, as he placed his head on his front paws. ôSo did she really set George Clooney up with Amal?ö

Oh, God. What was the world coming to when even Dooley was starting to spread celebrity gossip?

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