"That's pretty cynical. He is a human being, not an arrow. He only does that because he thinks so much of you, and he would do anything to please you. You are an idol to him. He loves you very much."
He gave her a somber look. "There is no way I could be any more proud of him, or love him any more, but if he doesn't stop Darken Rahl, I will be a dead idol. Sometimes, wizards must use people to accomplish what must be done."
"I guess I know how you feel, not telling him what you wish you could."
Zedd rose. "I'm sorry the two of you have had a hard time of it. Maybe with me here, it will be easier. Good night, dear one." He started off into the darkness.
"Zedd?" He stopped and looked back toward her, a dark form against the moonlit forest. "You had a wife."
"I did."
She cleared her throat and swallowed. "What was it like? Loving someone more than life itself, and being able to be with them, and having them love you back?"
Zedd stood still and silent for a long time, staring at her in the darkness. She waited, wishing she could see his face. She decided he wasn't going to answer
Kahlan held her chin up. "Wizard Zorander, I am not making a request. This is an order. You.will answer the question."
She waited. His voice came softly. "It was like finding the other half of myself, and being complete, whole, for the first time in my life."
"Thank you, Zedd." She was glad he couldn't see her tears as. she struggled to hold her voice steady. "I was just wondering."
CHAPTER 37
RICHARD WOKE WHEN HE heard Kahlan come back and toss some wood in the fire. Light was just starting to creep across the tips of distant mountains, casting them in a soft pink glow, dark clouds behind making the snowcapped peaks stand out all the more. Zedd lay on his back, eyes wide open, snoring. Richard rubbed the sleep from his eyes and yawned.
"How about some tava-root porridge?" he whispered, wanting to let Zedd sleep.
"Sounds good," she whispered back.,
Richard pulled the roots from his pack and began peeling them with his knife while Kahlan retrieved a pot.
When he finished cutting them up, he tossed the roots in with the water she had added from a skin. "This is the last of them. We'll have to start digging some more roots tonight, but I doubt we'll find tava. Not in this rocky ground."
"I picked some berries."
Together they warmed their hands at the fire. More than a queen, he thought. He tried to imagine a queen in fine robes and a crown, picking berries
"You see anything while you were on watch?"
She shook her head. Then she seemed to remember something and her face came up. "But one time, I did hear something strange. It was down here, near the camp. It was like a growl, then a yelp. I almost came and woke you, but it was gone as soon as it started, and I didn't hear it again.".
"Really." He glanced over each shoulder. "Down here. Wonder what that was about. I guess I was so tired it didn't wake me."
Richard mashed the pot of roots when they were done and added a little sugar. Kahlan dished up the porridge and added a big handful of berries on top of each.
"Why don't you wake him," she said.
Richard smiled. "Watch this."
He tapped his spoon a few times against the side of the tin bowl. Zedd made a short snort, and sat bolt upright.
The old man blinked twice. "Breakfast?"
With their backs to him, they both giggled.
"You're in a good mood this morning," she said, looking over.
He smiled. "Zedd's back with us."
Richard walked over and handed Zedd a bowl of porridge, then sat with his own on the low ledge. Kahlan made herself comfortable on the ground, wrapping a blanket around her legs while she balanced her bowl with one hand. Zedd didn't bother to unwrap himself from his blanket as he ate. Richard waited, biding his time, eating slowly while Zedd bolted his porridge.
"Good!" Zedd proclaimed as he rose to get himself another bowlful from the pot.
Richard waited until his old friend was spooning from the pot, then said, "Kahlan told me what happened. I mean, she told me about how you made her tell you about Shota."
Kahlan froze with a look as if she had been struck by lightning.
Zedd flinched up straight and spun to her. "Why did you tell him! I thought you didn't want him to know you…"
"Zedd… I never…"
Zedd's face grimaced. He turned slowly to Richard, who hunched over his bowl, methodically spooning porridge into his mouth
He didn't bother to look up. "She didn't tell me. But you just did."
Richard put the last spoonful in his mouth, and after he swallowed he licked his spoon clean and dropped it in the tin bowl with a clank.
His face, calm and triumphant, came up to the wizard's squinting eyes. "Wizard's First Rule," Richard announced with a wisp of a smile. "The first step to believing something is wanting to believe it is true… or being afraid it is."
"I told you," Kahlan fumed at Zedd. "I told you he would find out."
Zedd paid her no attention; his eyes were locked on Richard.