Under the Lights

“’Bout the same as it was five years ago.” I glance over at Pelin, who’s put her feet up in my chair. I hadn’t really planned to hook up with the same person for this long, but Chuck seems to like the idea that I’ve “found love on the quest to find myself” or whatever. Truth is, it’s been kinda nice, but I won’t be sharing that bit of info with K-drama.

“Where are you off to next?”

“Ally didn’t tell you?” I tap my fingers on the white railing next to me and look out at the glittering sea. “I’m meeting up with her and Liam in Rome for a couple of days during her spring break.”

“Ohhhh right. I forgot that was coming up next week. I still can’t believe they’re letting you tag along with them. And I can’t believe you want to.”

The truth is, I miss Liam. And I miss Ally. And I even miss K-drama a little bit. But again, I have no plans to share any of that. “I’m surprised you’re not coming,” I say instead. “I thought you got off on third-wheeling with those two.”

“Thanks, but I’m good with my own wheel,” she says. “Although, now that you mention it, a couple of days in Rome would be nice…”

She’s so predictable. “You’re going to book tickets the second you get off the phone with me, aren’t you?”

“Of course not,” she says huffily. “I wouldn’t tag along without asking Ally first.”

As if Ally would ever turn down a chance to spend a couple of days with Van. “Guess I’ll be seeing you and Bri next week.”

“You might be,” she concedes, and I can hear the smile in her voice. “I still can’t believe you ended up on a reality show after all that. You’re such a tool.”

“You’re just jealous because you wish you were this close to the Isle of Lesbos right now.”

“God, you really are the worst.” She’s quiet for a beat, then says, “Do you think all this stuff is worth it? Just, like…everything?”

“Thinking of ditching it all to become the brain your parents so desperately wish you were?”

“Ha ha. And no. I’m just curious, I guess.”

“I think—” I hear someone call my name and see that the camera guy is trying to get my attention to come back for filming. “I think it doesn’t really matter,” I tell her. “I think once you start, you just have to learn how to keep going.”

“That sounds about right. Or, at least, for as long as they’ll let you keep going, anyway.”

“Well, yeah, there’s that.”

“Have fun in Greece and try not to spread too many diseases to the natives, will you?”

“I’ll see you next week, you BFF-co-dependent drama queen.”

She laughs and says goodbye, and then she’s gone.

I head back to where Pelin’s sitting with our breakfast, the sun shining on her perfect, camera-ready skin. “Let’s get this party started. I need to get into that baklava already.” I offer myself to be mic’d up, then take my seat back at the table. “Lights, camera”—Pelin smiles at me before taking a tiny bite, then licking the honey off her lips—“and my personal favorite: action.”

Acknowledgments

Sometimes it’s hard to remember when and how a book began. In this case, there’s no forgetting the text message from Patricia Riley that said, “What if that imaginary Josh sequel wasn’t so imaginary?” Thank you, Patricia — my editor and friend — for setting this story free and loving every turn it took along the way. (Except Liam. I’m sorry about Liam. I swear, that never happened.)

Huge thanks to Lauren Meinhardt for setting the course of this book by asking for Vanessa’s story. I had no idea then who she was or that she’d completely own this book once I figured her out, but it’s been my favorite writing journey thus far, and I’m endlessly grateful for that challenge and all your editorial guidance and support.

To Maggie Hall — I don’t even know how to begin. I don’t think I ever would have finished this book with my sanity intact if you had not been with me every step of the way. And then, after everything you did for both the story and for me, you went ahead and made the most perfect, beautiful cover I could ever have imagined. Thank you, for everything.

Endless gratitude to my critique partners, Gina Ciocca, Marieke Nijkamp, and the aforementioned Maggie Hall, for figuring out all the ways this story was broken and helping me glue the right parts together. I’m forever awed by your skills at saving what I think is hopeless, and so in love with how far we’ve all come together. Best year ever? Best year ever.

Huge thanks to Lyla N. Lee and Audrey Coulthurst for incredibly helpful, insightful, and encouraging early reads, and to Christina Franke, for brainstorming me out of a tough spot and being generally fabulous. Thank you to my wonderful line and copy editors — Asja K. Parrish, Sarah Henning, and Becca Weston — for helping make my twisted little book as coherent as possible; Jenny Perinovic, for the lovely internal design; and to my kind, patient, wonderful publicist, Patrice Caldwell, for all her hard work.