Under the Lights

I’ll say one thing for K-drama — the girl’s pretty damn good on the dance floor. As the Wonder Boys’ track transitions into Beyoncé, she lightens up, and before long, she’s filled with just the right amount of tipsy energy. People start to crowd around and watch as she rolls her body against mine, waves her hands in the air, and sings along to the music. Her voice is pretty terrible, but she’s having so much fun that no one even cares.

It’s kind of awesome to watch her letting go like that. Not that I’ve never seen her have fun before, but right now, she looks…like she’s glowing or something. Royce has nudged Bri closer to make the two girls dance up on each other, and if she minds being sandwiched between us, it doesn’t show. I’m certainly not complaining about the view down Bri’s top, but the truth is, I kinda want them to disappear. I kinda want everyone to disappear. For weeks I’ve been feeling like everything is spinning, and right now, Van’s hips beneath my hands, even as they rock to the music, feel like exactly the stability I need to keep myself grounded, just for a night.

Doesn’t hurt that her hair smells really fucking good. Sweet. Like strawberries or something.

Fingers brush mine, and I look down to see that Bri’s now got a hand on Van’s waist, too. She’s pulling her closer, and I’m doing the same, and we end up merging like an Oreo while Royce whistles. I’m pretty sure the cameras are on us, but I don’t give a shit. I don’t give a shit about anything. Right now, all I want is the scent of strawberries in my nose, the sound of her crappy singing in my ear, and her little body beneath my hands.

I don’t wanna think about Chuck. I don’t wanna think about my mother. I don’t wanna think about my shitty future.

And I don’t wanna think about what it means that I don’t wanna let go of Vanessa Park at the end of the night.

Chapter Sixteen Vanessa

I don’t even know how many songs I dance sandwiched between Bri and Josh, watching the flashing lights and singing along. I feel drunk on pure adrenaline, though I know there’s some vodka mixed in there. There are flashbulbs going off, and I know I’ll see myself on websites tomorrow if I spend two seconds looking, but I don’t care.

Zander would hate this.

Jade will kill me.

I don’t care. About either of them. Any of it. In front of me, Josh looks like he’s having every bit as much fun as I am. Behind me, Bri seems to be enjoying herself, too. Every few seconds, I feel her hair or breasts graze my back, her breath on my ear, and my brain short-circuits.

Royce must be saying something to her I can’t hear because she cracks up laughing, unconsciously tightening her grip on my waist and pulling me close. My mouth goes dry, and I grip Josh’s shoulders and say, “I need to grab some water.”

“I’ll come with—”

“Aww, were you leaving?” Shannah swoops in like she has some crazy radar detector. “Make sure you send my love to Zander.” There’s so much insincerity dripping from her voice I have to walk carefully to make sure I don’t slip in it.

“Wait up,” Bri calls, and I do. “Didn’t even realize how thirsty I was until I saw you heading to the bar.”

I glance at her, wondering if I’m imagining the extra meaning that seems loaded into that sentence. She’s not looking at me, but the quirk of her lips suggests that I’m not.

The adrenaline is back, working its way through my system double-time. My heart thuds against my ribcage as we near the bar, and I force myself to focus on the singular goal of getting water. Thankfully, the bartender practically dives over to us, ignoring everyone else demanding his attention. We get a couple of icy glasses and sip them as we make our way back to our seats.

Neither of us says a word for a couple of minutes, instead watching the guys get down and dirty with the other three girls. I think about Bri laughing at whatever Royce had said, and I wonder again if I have things all wrong.

“You don’t actually have to babysit me, you know,” I tell her. “It’s cool if you wanna go back and dance with Royce.”

She snorts. “Thanks, but I think I’ve spent enough of my night being poked in the back by unwanted objects. I’ll stick with you, if you don’t mind.”

I inexplicably feel a little weight lift off my shoulders, and laugh. It’s not like that means anything. It’s not like I want it to.

Do I?

“This is probably at least a little more fun than having some sort of ring ceremony with Zander tonight would’ve been, no?” she asks, plucking an ice chip from her glass and slipping it between her teeth.

“Oh, shut up,” I say, shaking my head.

“You don’t want to talk about it?”

“I’d rather talk about nuclear physics. Or Shannah’s hair. Anything. Please.”

Those perfect lips curl into a smile around the ice, and then she sucks it into her mouth. I swallow and look away.