Touchdown, Touchdown, Rah, Rah, Rah!

“About your business practices,” Delores said. She spoke in Wideplain, and she raised her voice so that all the diners could hear her. “Watching you at work, we know how you’re cheating Ghorf.”

“What are you talking about?” Ray asked.

“Dealing with him, you’ve got him thinking that he’s going to get wealthy off some huge business deal,” Delores said. “Misleading him like that, we’re going to try to have you deported. Stinking as your crimes do, we don’t want you fouling the air on Earth, either, but we can’t let you sneeze on the UN’s reputation by taking advantage of the kya.”

As Delores and her escorts walked away, Ray told himself that he had to admire her grasp of kya idioms and grammar. “Can they do that to you?” Elizabeth asked him in Wideplain.

Seeing the number of kya who were staring at him, Ray strained to phrase himself as grammatically as possible. “Having done nothing wrong, they have no basis for it. Hearing all this, I think it’s a mistake. Being concerned about humanity’s image, it’s natural that they’d react so strongly, even to a misunderstanding. Have some knotvine?”

Elizabeth seemed puzzled by his mild reaction, but she dipped her fingers into the bowl and took some of the food. The incident seemed to pass without drawing further interest from the kya—although, Ray noticed, Ghorf stayed on the other side of the dining floor for the rest of the evening.

“I thought about saying something strong,” Ray said later, after they had left the restaurant. It was a warm night, and he and Elizabeth had decided to walk the two miles back to the dorm. Kya lacked a moon, but the city lights provided a mild neon glow for walking. “But I remembered how Zelk reacted to the way Faber shoved me. The kya are a herd people, and they hate the idea of a split in the herd.”

“So you tried to act conciliatory?” Elizabeth wondered.

“I tried to act like a kya might,” Ray said. “Like there wasn’t a real problem. Word of this is going to get around, and I don’t want anyone thinking I’m so alien they can’t do business with me.”

“That’s good thinking,” Elizabeth said. “But I doubt that woman made a scene just for fun. She’s up to something.”

“The embassy wants to put me out of business,” Ray said. “The UN is afraid that I could do irreparable harm to the kya by giving them things—information, technology, whatever—before they’re ready to handle it.”

“Do you believe them?” Elizabeth asked.

“I don’t know,” Ray admitted. “It sounds reasonable, and God knows there are plenty of cases where people meant to do well and made a real mess.”

“I know.” She looked thoughtful. “Nobody can predict all the consequences of their actions, and if you try to do only harmless things, you’ll paralyze yourself. If something does go wrong because of you, all you can do is try to fix it.”

“I suppose so.” Then, noting that it was a warm and pleasant night, and that he had promised to show Elizabeth a few moves, he decided to investigate the consequences of some more interesting actions.

* * *

The grades for the semester’s first batch of tests were available two days after the last paper was handed in. Feeling like a condemned criminal who has only a vague hope of receiving a last-minute pardon, Ray went to Vrekle to see if three weeks of studying had had any lasting effect on Faber.

His notepad told him that Faber was in the dorm—as was Elizabeth, who should have been attending a world (kya) history class. Puzzled, Ray went to her room and tapped on the door. “Elizabeth?”

“Gargh.” The door opened. She stood there in her bathrobe, looking haggard and sleepless. “Oh. Hi. ’mon in.”

Ray blinked. “Are you OK?”

“Gagh.” She plopped down on the bed. “I’ve got a case of Proxmire’s Revenge that won’t quit.”

“What’s that?”

“What it sounds like.” She grimaced slightly. “I can identify some allergens by what they do to me. This feels like a milk allergy, except I can’t figure out how it happened. I always keep my food away from everyone else’s.”

“When did it start?” Ray asked.

“Yesterday afternoon.” She rubbed her eyes groggily. “ ’Bout a half-hour after we said good-bye...” She raised her head and peered at him. “What did you have for lunch yesterday?”

He shrugged. “Kya stuff. And some ice cream for dessert.”

“And then you gave me a kiss that made the Guinness Book of World Records,” she said.

“You’re allergic to me?” Ray asked, startled.

“No, to the ice cream. It only takes a little milk-sugar to set me off... and I thought you tasted awfully sweet.”

“I didn’t know you were that sensitive. I’m sorry.”

“ ’Sall right.” She managed a rickety grin. “It was worth it. You’re here to see Reek Hard?”

“Well, him, too,” Ray said. “I wanted to find out if he passed his tests.”

“Quit crossing your fingers, the creep made it—” She shook her head. “Sorry, Ray. Cramps always turn me into a bitch.” She grimaced again. “Had to cancel everything today.”

“That’s too bad. I was looking forward to taking you out to dinner.”