Titans of Chaos

"The ashes consist of atoms falling in straight lines through the void. Some atoms contain aswerve or variation which causes them to collide. The collisions, happening with increasingfrequency as immense time passes, sort the atoms (who are attracted and repelled from eachother in different ways) into their various elements and molecules. Certain molecules are morecomplex, and form self-replicating chains of elements, and they make more like themselves out ofthe falling atoms. Complex enough self-replicating mechanisms seem to be self-aware, becausethe actions of internal mechanism, their nervous systems, retain shapes or impressions of previousevents. I can show you the math if anyone is interested.

"As befits a mechanical cosmos, the early creatures were mechanisms of survival, like insects,without emotion. Those that had maladaptive survival behaviors did not survive and did not passon the molecular programming of their behaviors to their next generation.

"I remember being taught that Saturn was one of us. But the swerve, the unexpected motion ofcertain of his brain atoms, broke his programming. He is a mutant. He used his cryptognosis tofind a new method of controlling created life-mechanisms. He gave them illusions, passions, andemotions. He divorced their internal reality from strict empirical reality. They were no longerinsects or living robots, but birds, mammals, man. Our form of life was superceded. There waswar. We were driven into the void. Saturn invented false thoughts, lies, false hopes. This gave hiscreatures some extra incentives to survive that we did not possess."

Victor stood in the darkness, frowning at the fire. "Maybe he invented love. You can see why I amnot so certain that our people are the good guys.

"We must have independent confirmation before we proceed. To be independent, we must be freeof interference. To be free, we must gain strength. This time on the island is nothing but a briefrespite between battles. A breather."

And I said, "A holiday."

He smiled at me, one of his rare smiles. "A holiday, if you like."

"Have a papaya chunk. I burned it just for you."

He came, and lay down beside me, where I was sitting cross-legged by the fire, and he put hishead in my lap and ate the "marshmallow" out of my hands. "Ah, such a good cook you are,Amelia. You'll make someone a fine wife someday."

I cannot tell you how many times I replayed that scene in my mind, wondering if he meant what Ithink he meant.